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WWYD- where to buy a home.
I'll try to make this short. I was going to post this on the "buying a home" board, but I love you guys and i can handle your criticism. some of those ladies on some of the other boards are scary and snarky.
Here is our dilema- I have always wanted to live on the coast (near the beach). H & I got married and we talked about moving to the coast when we got ready to buy a house. Then H starts thinking "Well, we should really be close to family when we have kids" (our families, and ourselves, live in central FL right now)... So then we decide, okay we'll move back to *hometown* (we live in Hs hometown right now, which is 45 minutes from my hometown).
H calls me today to tell me that his company maybe transferring him to Tampa (which is about 40 minutes from where we would move if we lived on the west coast of FL)... So now we are kind of stuck. The district that he is working in right now is very slow and his boss has said that he can't justify have two of H's position (there is another guy in this area that does the same thing as H)... so he has been talking about transferring H to tampa. If we move to hometown it will be to far for H to drive to Tampa everyday, and i am worried if he doesn't take the transfer he will get laid off...
The other thing about moving to the coast is that my dad is a general contractor and has a house in the city where we want to live that he wants to sell us. we would be getting a brand new house for $120k, 5 minutes from the ocean. This house is my dream house. My ultimate dream house. (3/2)upstairs, and the whole downstairs is garage. If we move to hometown who knows what we will end up in (we went and looked at houses last weekend and it was not so great).
Sorry if this is confusing. My question is what would you do? Would you move to be closer to family for when you have kids, or would you move to the coast. I feel like being close to family for when we have kids would be nice, but there are plenty of people who raise kids with out their families every day. Hs concern is who will watch the kids when we need to go here, or there... I mean i want my kids to grow up knowing there cousins and everything but i REALLY WANT A BEACH HOUSE. that's selfish i know.
Re: WWYD- where to buy a home.
I just looked at the blueprints for the house - my dad gave them to us a while back. The total house/garage is 3470sq ft. the upstairs (which is 3bd/2bth) is about 1700sqft and the garage which fully closed in, and might possibly have a half bathroom is 1680sqft.
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=flounder+drive+hernando+beach+fl&sll=28.501933,-82.650894&sspn=0.001075,0.002406&gl=us&num=10&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=Flounder+Dr,+Hernando+Beach,+Hernando,+Florida+34607&ll=28.498654,-82.652139&spn=0,359.980752&t=h&z=16&layer=c&cbll=28.498558,-82.65214&panoid=boWw2bzW5PTxw8kE7_p7uA&cbp=12,103.14,,0,3.29
Sorry that link is so ridiculously huge. This is my dad's old house in the same area, and this is essentially what the house would look like. This house actually sits on a canal, the house we would have doesn't, but it is literally 3 minutes from the main water way that leads out to the gulf of mexico.
A quick question... Is this house that your dad wants to sell you right near Tampa? If so - I think it sounds like the perfect house. If not, I think living on the coast still sounds wonderful!
I also think that living right in the same town as parents or IL's has as many positives as negatives. Even though it's convenient to have people around to watch your (future) children, you don't want to impose and always have them watch your kids. Babysitters are always available, and I'm sure you will meet couples your age with kids wherever you move and you can have play dates and hang out together with your kids.
As long as you aren't moving across country or a day-long drive from your parents, your kids will still see their grandparents and cousins if you make the effort.
With this said, obviously you and your DH need to decide together what's best for you and where you should live. It's a huge investment and you don't want either of you unhappy with the decision you make. Good luck figuring all this out!
The house is 40 minutes from Tampa. The house in in a "town" called Hernando Beach. It's a coastal town that actually doesn't even have a beach. But the house is 3 minutes from the boat ramp. if that far. My dad had a house there when we were growing up. He still builds houses over there. I just love the area.
I am going to research schools today
I think you need to make a list of pros and cons for each place.
As far as being close to family, 40 minutes isn't really that far away. Once you have kids your parents can come to visit you or you can go there, you could alternate visits on weekends if you wanted to.
Yes you are planning to have kids, but you also need to make the decision based on the present situation. If he is going to be working there now, then you really dont want to be commuting 40 minutes each way to work. And, if/when you do have kids, you can always re-evaluate the situation and move somewhere in the middle (a 20 min commute for him to work each day and 20 mins to family?)
Like Meag said, its hard being away from family (my family are all across the continent and in another country!). but you will make friends that become like family.
we are 2 hours from MIL and we see her at least one weekend a month, sometimes more.
You are in Florida, where the roads wouldn't get bad with snow and ice in the winters, so a 2 hour drive wouldn't be too bad. If you drove to your family one weekend and they drove to you the week after and then you maybe take a week off... for us, my MIL never comes up to us. (except for our wedding).
As for when you have kids, you will develop a support system. I have lived here with DH for a year now and at first it was really hard, but he has a LOT of friends and I have become friends with many of them and that has helped. I now have a group of "girl" friends. You will meet people through his work, through your work, and eventually through local mom groups.
I hope you can make the decision without too much conflict. Just list all the pros and cons and talk it out with your hubby. good luck!
Right now we live about 45 minutes from my family, and 3 miles from H family. I see my family every couple of weeks. More so lately bc weve been searching for a house in my hometown. Being away from my family doesn't make me "happy".... i have mixed emotions, bt ive wanted to live on the coast for a long time and i just feel like now is our opportunity. we aren't uprooting our kids from schools, or from their friends.