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Need a nugget of advice. Long.
So I have 2 friends that I work with, one male, one female. They have both worked here longer than I have. Before I came, the male (called D) developed a huge crush on the female (called H). H had a boyfriend, but was on the outs with him, and had many a conversation about the impending breakup with D. D was extremely excited about this, and thought this was his chance to be with H.
H and her boyfriend decided to stay together. D went somewhat crazy. This was a year ago. D stopped talking to people, clammed up, etc, but maintained some residual love for H. H went about her normal business.
D considers his and H's relationship the same as Jim and Pam on the Office. Slightly (very) delusional, but he's my friend, so I humor him.
This past Saturday was our company xmas party. H caught her BF on the phone with another girl, essentially having phone sex, at the bar afterparty. H was pissed and left with some friends, and ended up with a group of people in D's hotelroom. Everyone leaves, and D gets up the courage to tell H that HE LOVES HER. H says nothing, and ends up passing out on the 2nd bed in his room.
Monday at work, D and H go to lunch. H tells D that she's going to forgive her BF. D is going nuts. He's decided to "fight to win back his woman". Direct quote.
So he's going Office on it, and bought her the exact replica of the teapot that Jim gives Pam, and is filling it with Office related products. I had to talk him out of buying a $400 complete Office signed photo. He's putting in it a nametag from her first day. A movie stub. Etc. He wrote out a card, expressing how much he loves her, would do anything for her, etc.
D is a good guy - just very obsessive. H has never expressed any interest in dating him, but has never stopped him from thinking he might have a chance. She is staying with her BF because she has very low self-esteem.
D decided that if this works out, awesome for him. But if it doesn't work out, he wants me to fall on my sword and tell her it was my idea. It was not.
My problem - Do I tell H what D is planning? Do I tell D to do whatever, but he's on his own?
The kicker? H is my husband's first cousin. She got me into the job I have now.
WTF do I do?!!!!
Re: Need a nugget of advice. Long.
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This. Be Switzerland. Step away from the train wreck. The family + job link with H would make me feel extremely awkward about being tied to D's plan in any way shape or form.
This is my issue. D brought me into this situation by telling me what he's planning, and I wish to God that he hadn't. I feel super awkward and I just want to pretend that I never heard anything about it.
My other problem is that I work with D a lot - our departments are interrelated. H works in HR, so she's around, but not in our general vacinity.
Stay out of it. Completely out of it. You work with both of them, but it's not your business. If you get involved you'll end up being blamed at some point.
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I especially don't need the drama with the holidays coming up and seeing H a lot outside of work.
The fact that H works in HR means D is putting his job at risk. Does he realize this? I can totally understand if you don't feel the need to counsel him on this fact, but I hope he's aware.
And he really needs to know you have no part in this. He chose to inform you of his plans, you did not choose to get involved.
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D used to work in HR. H took over his job when she came and he moved to another department. He trained her, which is how they got to be so close. D is also very close with the other women in HR, and I work at a very small company, so I doubt that anything would happen to him in regards to his job. I know at least one supports him in his love for H (though I don't believe she knows what he's planning) but I can almost guarantee she'd just consider his gesture as being "sweet". D also is a smooth talker and is very "in" with the higher ups, including the CEO and VP of Merchant Services and VP of Finance. They all play golf together.
its kinda cute how he has the crush, but i think most girls would be overwhelmed / creeped out by that. i know i would be. so i'd give him friendly advice to tone it down or he will scare her off.
then i'd wash my hands of it. being involved will only result in trouble for you, esp since she is family.
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