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Vent: My mother
My mom announced several weeks ago that she was "broke" and that she was only doing Christmas for the kids. No problem, I don't rely on gifts from her anyway, and she always spoils the kids.
Yesterday they got a new dog (a Yorkie). This adds to the 3 Cairn terriers they have, that are not trained and p!ss and sh!t all over the house. (My parents have a VERY expensive gorgeous house, that is ruined by dog sh!t).
She has been texting the girls all morning about naming this dog. The girls are supposed to be doing chores, and every time I go check on them, they're making a list of dog names or talking to my mother. I told them to stop, and then I asked my mom to stop texting until they got their chores done.
She replied that I was a scrooge and "your father just left to buy you a bag of coal, missy." I told her she needed to act like an adult. She replied that she didn't need to be an adult, she was a grandparent, and that I should just be happy she's in a good mood this Christmas!
I replied back that I'm NOT in a good mood this Christmas, I am very stressed, and I needed her to support my parenting decisions instead of letting the girls think they can do whatever. I hate to play the "poor mental state" card - but without saying it directly, that's what I was getting to - I can't handle her stress. I started crying - T took the phone away from me and said you don't need to talk to your mother anymore.
I really don't want her to come here next weekend. She's driving A out and having Christmas with the kids - she's leaving A with me and taking the girls to her hotel. I just know there's going to be an issue, and I'm already on the brink. Ugh!
Re: Vent: My mother
Oh, wow, I'm so sorry, Wendi!
It doesn't seem like your mom cares much, so I have no advice. I would normally say have a heart to heart conversation with her, but I sense it might be useless.
How about have a heart to heart with the girls? Maybe if you explain that you're having a rough time and that their behavior listenning to grandma instead of you is not helping, and you need their help right now. I don't know, it's all I can think of.
Hang in there, sweetie, sending you lots of hugs!
This might be a crazy idea and not doable, but can you back out on letting her take the girls? And maybe DH can help you talk to her (at least be right by your side and interrupting if she starts upsetting you). She needs some boundaries, you can't keep putting up with her behavior when she obviously upsets you in a very bad way.
Sorry if this isn't helpful.
If your mom had junk, I would call that its time for a JUNK PUNCH.
But she doesn't (hopefully) so my only advices is deep breaths, and tell yourself that its YOUR Christmas - she can't ruin it. Say it over and over. And I agree with Lore, maybe set some boundaries about her taking the girls...unless they'll be really disappointed, in which case, you might just have to go with it.