I'm afraid I'm loosing my friends

Re: I'm afraid I'm loosing my friends

• Cipolla2Be

  December 2009

  Honestly I think your friends just may be jealous and need to grow up a bit.  Don't feel bad because you are married, they just need to get over themselves and be happy that their friend has found someone special.  They should be happy that you are happy.  Yes it can be somewhat annoying when a married person only talks about their siginificant other or "them" as a couple......but I am not saying this is you, I am just speaking in general.  If their actions upset you, you need to tell them.  Maybe they feel like things will change because you are married now and maybe you need to reassure them that you are still their friend and will still be there for them etc.  Life is full of changes and all of you will have to work through them to try and keep your friendship strong.  Communication is key.

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• Jkip0705

  December 2009

  They are jealous....give it some time. They are feeling sorry for themselves and taking it out on you.
  

  

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• munkii

  December 2009

  Cipolla robbed me.  She said everything I was going to say but didn't get on fast enough to say.  Remind them that you're still you and marriage didn't give you amnesia blocking out the first 25 years of your life.  Remind them that marriage doesn't making you any less of a friend.  Ask them if they plan to alienate each other when the next girl gets married.

  Matt loves Munkii!!!

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• Karen2905

  December 2009

  Yeah, pp's took the words out of my mouth too.  It's kind of sad that they're acting this way.  I know that there are distinct differences between the "married lifestyle" and the "single/20-something lifestyle," but for them to say that you won't understand something because you're married is pretty childish. 

   
  

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• arobertson62282

  December 2009

  What you'll find is that your group of friends is going to continue changing. I know it's happened with my friends. I have 2 groups - the married ladies and the single ladies. I'm in both groups, and the dynamics of those groups have significantly changed over the years. No worries, just adjust.
  

  

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• jlk0219

  December 2009

  I agree with what all of the ladies here have said... sounds like they're jealous and perhaps don't know quite how to act around you now.  It's sad and unfortunate- and it sounds like maybe you've grown up a little more than they have and they're being immature about the changes in your life. Reading your post reminded me of a Sex and The City episode where Carrie talks about the Marrieds vs. the Singles... both groups are jealous of each other (the grass is always greener...) and don't know how to act around each other. I agree that you should try to talk to them- if not all at once then maybe with a couple of your closest friends in the bunch. They may not even realize that they were doing it- sometimes when you have a group of people and one person starts something like that, the rest just feed off of what the first person said. I would say "hey, I'm sure you guys didn't mean anything by it and were just joking around, but the stuff you said about me being married now really hurt my feelings." If they truly care about you then they'll cut it out right then.
  

  My Planning Bio/My Married Bio With Items For Sale

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• Witchys_Woman

  December 2009

  When me and the Mr. first started dating they (his friends, guys and girls) treated him like he had the plague. They were all single, about 19 or 20 years old and suddenly he had this "girlfriend" who had the nerve to want to hang out with them and be included. His friends stopped calling him and it went on for quite a while then eventually we made new friends but then a funny thing happened. His old friends started getting into relationships and calling him again. At first he was like f-them. But then he decided reguardsless if how they'd been to him they were his oldest friends and they did have a lot of good times together. We hang out with them now more then anyone else. They've changed girl/boy friends, been single, gotten married, had children etc etc. but they've grown up and become more accepting to changes in the group.

  

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• mom2one14

  December 2009

  Cipolla2Be:

  Honestly I think your friends just may be jealous and need to grow up a bit.  Don't feel bad because you are married, they just need to get over themselves and be happy that their friend has found someone special.

   This!

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• AmandaJ53

  December 2009

  Thank you for your advice. I'm really having a hard time with this. I love those girls so much and I don't want to be isolated. :-)
  

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