November 2008 Weddings
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Are Ya Kidding Me???

So, when I met DH he had a girlfriend.  He ended up breaking up with her (obviously) but she has never really gone away.  We dated for a solid two years before we got engaged, were engaged for eight months, and married for over a year now.  While we were dating and engaged she continued to send him cards for his birthday, Christmas, Easter, even Valentine's Day.  I pretty much let it go because, we what was I going to do? He doesn't talk to her anymore and she is just BSC, no need to add to that. She hasn't sent a card in the past year, so I figured she gave up (she and DH have mutual friends so she knows that we got married). 

I come home today, and there is a freaking Christmas card from her.  And it's not like it's to both of us, like she is trying to be friendly, it is addressed to him, inside it says his name its little message then "Hugs BSC Ex Girlfriend".  I never really flip over this kind of thing, but I am pissed.  I am halfway between sending her a Christmas card from the "Mrs Dani Family, DH, Dani and Baby Mrs Dani" and just waiting to send her a birth announcement.  What do you think?  Should I just act my age and let it go?  Oh and for what it's worth, this girl is my age, 34, it's not like I am dealing with a high school girl here.

Re: Are Ya Kidding Me???

  • I am way petty, but I would totally send her a Christmas card from the fam. . . And I would probably send a birth announcement, too, if I had some extras. After all, she seems pretty interested in your life (H).
  • I agree! lol  I would send her a card and say "Thank you so much for the christmas card!  It was so sweet of you to remember us!"  And of course sign it from the family.  Devil
  • I would just ignore her. Who is she? She is not a family or friend. Why put so much effort in finding a card, signing it etc. This is what she wants: to be noticed. I wouldn't notice her. Of course, I would be dying to send a card and picturing what I'd say. But the best thing to do is to ignore. 
  • imagevrnk77:
    I would just ignore her. Who is she? She is not a family or friend. Why put so much effort in finding a card, signing it etc. This is what she wants: to be noticed. I wouldn't notice her. Of course, I would be dying to send a card and picturing what I'd say. But the best thing to do is to ignore. 

    Ditto. In a way, I want to say send her a card from the family and then a birth announcement... But she just wants to be noticed and that's exactly what you'll be doing by sending her anything. Just ignore her, she'll disappear again eventually =)

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I would ignore her.  She sounds pretty crazy, so you might not want to provoke her.
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • Yes, as tough as it might be... ignoring her is probably best. 
  • DH and I had a similar situation. An ex-girlfriend of his would call him every now and then mostly on his birthday. The last time she called she asked him what he did for his birthday. He told her I cook him a nice dinner and got him a cake and things like that. She said to him so you just want me to leave you alone and he said yeah.

    I think if anything is said to her it needs to be from your DH. but....

    Sending her a card from Mr. & Mrs. may shut her up. I wouldn't send a birth announcement, but I might send a Christmas Card from the fam.

  • imagevrnk77:
    I would just ignore her. Who is she? She is not a family or friend. Why put so much effort in finding a card, signing it etc. This is what she wants: to be noticed. I wouldn't notice her. Of course, I would be dying to send a card and picturing what I'd say. But the best thing to do is to ignore. 

    Agreed.  I'd be dying to send a rude card to her, but I agree with vrnk, she just wants to be noticed.  I wouldn't send anything to her, she's not worth your time or energy.  Hopefully she'll just disappear after this.  She definitely sounds like she has issues...don't want to get mixed up in that!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • The other girls might take the higher road but I would still send a birth announcement. Fo 'sho.
  • I talked to my SIL this morning and she agreed with most of you girls, that she is more than likely just looking for attention and my responding will give it to her.  But seriously, I want to just smack a b!tch!  I am usually the most non confrontational person.  Maybe it's hormones, but back the F off my family!!
  • imagemissdanib:
    I talked to my SIL this morning and she agreed with most of you girls, that she is more than likely just looking for attention and my responding will give it to her.  But seriously, I want to just smack a b!tch!  I am usually the most non confrontational person.  Maybe it's hormones, but back the F off my family!!

    You have more restraint than I do! Good for you :)

  • I say ignore too. She'll hear from the grapevine about baby, and soon enough she'll realize how ridiculous she's being and back off.

    Don't let her know she's getting to you, she'll think you're jealous and have marital problems, she'll think she has a way in. It's best to leave it alone, IMHO.

  • imagejweat013:

    imagemissdanib:
    I talked to my SIL this morning and she agreed with most of you girls, that she is more than likely just looking for attention and my responding will give it to her.  But seriously, I want to just smack a b!tch!  I am usually the most non confrontational person.  Maybe it's hormones, but back the F off my family!!

    You have more restraint than I do! Good for you :)

    I don't have that much restraint....I still like the birth announcement idea.

  • Like the other girls I agree with leaving it alone. Attention will just make her show up in your life more.

    Plus, I'm always weird about telling people that don't like me about the good things in my life (like your baby on the way). I always fear they will send bad vibes my way and screw up what's going well.

  • What a creep.  Have you talked to your DH about it?  I would be super annoyed, but that's just me.  I would probably say something to a mutual friend to maybe pass along a message that it's time to cut the ties.  Although I love the idea of a birth announcement.

  • You know, Maybe a christmas card in YOUr hand writting from the "growing dani family" may stop the cards.

    I send xmas cards to my ex and his parents....BUT I am also good friends with ex's wifie ;)

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