April 2008 Weddings
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mommies and people who know mommies :) need inlaw advice

OK, so my in-laws have booked plane tickets to come when i give birth (they booked on SW for a couple of different weeks in case i go early or late, its sweet how excited they are) :)

The question is: they asked if they should stay with us to help or if they should stay somewhere else. 

i get along really well with my in-laws.  my first thought was that i would love to have the help (even though TJ will be home too) with the new baby when i first get home.  but then i was thinking of how exhausted i will likely be and will i have breakdowns and prefer to be alone with TJ (i.e. if breast feeding doesn't go well or whatever).  they will probably be there for the first 5 days after i'm home from the hospital.

anyone have any advice for me?  

my mom lives about 3.5 miles from me, and has an extra room, i'm not sure if my aunt will be visiting or not, but they maybe could stay there or with my grandpa who lives around the corner from my mom. 

but maybe i would really appreciate the help? TJ is leaving this one up to me

Re: mommies and people who know mommies :) need inlaw advice

  • honestly I would plan to have them stay somewhere else and if you need them to stay at night, then they can change their plans.  I know I was not up for overnight guests for several weeks. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • This could be a toughie.  But I think you hit the nail on the head with " you will be exhausted " girlfriend you will be.

     My mom stayed with us for a week and it was sooo nice.  Not only was she a gem in helping both of us out, she was able to bond with Loela (since she doesn't live around the corner)

    It worked well for us since I bottle fed, but I don't think she'd be much help with the breastfeeding part :)

    Since you do get along with your inlaws, I think you should go for it.  I think TJ would love for his folks to be there with you guys, but maybe doesn't want to pressure you into it?  

    Also I think they know they would be there to help you guys out and don't expect to be waited on.  ( hope i'm right) :)

    Good Luck and let us know what you guys decide. 

     


  • I would plan on them staying somewhere else and if you decide that you want them to stay the night they could get their things and stay with you that night. I had people at my house all day every day for the 1st few weeks it seemed like and I did not want people there at night.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • We had my MIL with us for a little over a week and while we get along great I was so ready for her to leave at the end of the week. She helped out a ton but there were times I would have liked it to be just Aaron and I. 

    Maybe you could split it where they stay some where else for the first few days so you and TJ can get settled and then maybe they can stay a night or two before they head home.

  • Honestly Jen, the last people I wanted to see after birth was Paul's parents. But I couldn't bear to upset them so I agreed to have them stay with us. And it actually was nice having them here. It's good to have a set of hands to do things like cook for you and take out your trash, run errands, etc.  It's a tough call, but I lean towards having them stay. Not to add any guilt but E is soooo sad that she's going to be so far away from you that it may mean everything to her to spend those first few perfect days. :-)

     

  • I was terrified once night time came.  I would get anxious and cry.  my mom got up with me and B for every feeding and diaper change and even though she couldn't do anything, it meant the world to have her there in the middle of the night.  I can get very lonely.

    DH didn;t get up since he had to work early.'

    I don't know that I'd have wanted my MIL with me, but my own mom was a lifesaver.  I cried and begged her not to leave when she finally had to go home.

    If you have the room, I;d let them stay, especially since you have such a good relationship with her.  it;s nice tohave someone else clean cook and what not while you can concentrate on getting to know the baby and figuring things out.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I am no help. All of my family lives at most 30min away. But I don't think I would have wanted to have anyone stay with us. I am breastfeeding and in the begining it would have been hard having to always cover myself or go to the other room becasue we had people here.  So it really depends on you. I liked being able to send my family home so DH and I could be alone with June.
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