Central Pennsylvania Nesties
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Establishing child custody
Im getting ready to begin the process of getting custody established between me and my ex husband in regards to our one child. Its been a rough 3 years since we've divorced, and while I dont anticipate a fight, as im not looking to change anything, just have it documented, he's just a bag of surprises so who knows.
I guess im just looking for some words of wisdome, and an idea of what I can expect from this process? Did you hire a lawyer right off the bat, or did you not even need one? how long did it take?
Re: Establishing child custody
Can I suggest posting this question on the Trouble in Paradise board? We definitely offer our support on here, but many of us have never gone through this situation so it would be hard to give advice, but there are many on TIP who have been through divorce and custody battles or who have supported those who went through divorce so they would be able to give more advice on the topic.
Good luck!
I've only gone through it from the other side, after my parents divorced. They both had lawyers. If it were me, I would not try to go through this without one. It does seem pretty common to have custody cases decided by a mediator rather than a judge, or at very least, it's the first step. However, most people do seem to still have lawyers in the mediation stage.
I would recommend that if your child is old enough that he/she can tell you what they want, that you try to honor their wishes to the extent that it is safe. Quite honestly, I felt like my parents played some power games with the custody thing, and I resented it for awhile. Looking back on it now, I know they were trying to shelter us from the negative stuff, and were genuinely trying to do right by us. However, I was 16/17 at the time, so if they had talked to me about what went into the decisions, I would have understood it better.
I respect that my parents did not bring us into the court proceedings. I'd avoid that unless it were absolutely necessary.