Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Vent, rant...call it what you want. I'm a b!tch.
I realize what I'm about to say could possibly make me sound like SUCH a b!tch, but I can't help it. Brace yourself, this could get long:
I am very close with both MIL and FIL and DH's whole family really...with the exception of his uncle (MILs brother) and his wife. They don't come around much and spend most of their time with his wife's family. Obvs, this really hurts MIL.
Well, the uncle had an autoimmune disease come on suddenly and with a vengeance about a year ago. That being said, he can't fight off infection, he feels like he is in a constant state of vertigo and walks with a cane.
Last week, he came down with H1N1. It rolled in to Pneumonia. He was admitted to the hospital where they informed the family he had sepsis, as well. Apparently he coded last Wednesday and stopped breathing (although no one even called MIL to let her know he was in the hospital until late Thursday night). He is in an induced coma and on a respirator. They attempted to bring him out of it - and when they did, he was responsive when they would say his name by moving his head and making eye contact but did not speak or move any of his limbs. They put him back in the induced coma, and now think he has had a stroke.
Don't get me wrong. I feel awful. My heart is breaking for Kyle's grandparents because they are devastated. MIL called me tonight and was soooooo down in the dumps. She kept saying things like, "I'm just not even in the Christmas spirit," and "with everything going on, we're laying low..." and so on and so on and so on.
I asked her if she didn't want to have Christmas, but she was like, "no, we still have to have it...."
{insert selfish feelings here} I don't want my Christmas ruined because they are so down in the dumps. I can't believe I just said that, but seriously. I'm giving up time with my family to spend with them. And, I've dealt with a lot in my family - many illnesses, death, etc and I guess I just learned to continue to think positively, put on a happy face and continue on. She hasn't even been to the hospital to see him. I just think - don't put the guy in his grave yet. He probably has a long way to go, but only time will tell and we should all just pray and think good thoughts.
Is it horrible that I'm completely out of patience with her? And that I'm now dreading Christmas because all of the good times, laughter and cheer will be sucked out of it - especially when I know my family will be whooping it up at my grandmas?
End rant. Thanks for reading.
Re: Vent, rant...call it what you want. I'm a b!tch.
I think your feelings are normal. But I think you have to just suck it up and put on a happy face and try to help your MIL through this and accept that she deals with things differently than you do. Maybe try and help her see that she shouldn't put him in his grave yet and that you can still have good times when things are not good overall.
And maybe Skype into your family's xmas for a little while. I know holidays away from your own family can be really hard.
October 2013 February Siggy Challenge: Valentine's Day Fail
EDD 10/3/13
I think you're allowed to have a little selfish private moment of wishing you were whooping it up with your family. DH is an only child and his parents don't do a big family Christmas, so when we fly out there it will be the four of us having a quiet dinner while I know my huge, fun, extended family is getting together out in Vermont for drinks and dinner and charades. I have resigned myself to this and am planning on packing some extra books to read with all of the quiet time I'm bound to have.
That said, I fully agree you will have to suck it up and put on a happy face for your ILs. He's not in his grave yet, but it's understandable that she would be so worried. Maybe you can think of this as a relaxing time for you and your DH. Since your MIL won't want to party, you can do nice relaxing things like watch movies on the couch with hot chocolate and take naps in the afternoon.
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="D