Holidays
74 books read in 2011
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Holiday table / seating arrangement
How does your family do tables and seating on holidays? I'm having 12-15 people at my house on Christmas Eve, which means we have to have some people in the kitchen and others in the dining room.
There's no room to pull my kitchen table in the dining room, nor would I use a folding chairs/table. Am I the only meanie who splits people up?
If it matters - either DH's family or the men go in the kitchen, and my family or the women in the DR.
74 books read in 2011
Re: Holiday table / seating arrangement
What does "nor would I use a folding chairs / table" mean?
If a folding table next to the dining room table makes it possible for everyone to sit together in the dining room, I would do it.
How do the family dynamics work in your families? Would it be better to group them by sex, or should there be a mix of couples divided in the two rooms?
If folding table is not an option (though frankly I think it's a better idea than splitting people up) then I would go for a gourmet finger food buffet where people can help themselves from a buffet style layout.
And next time, I wouldn't invite more people over for a sit down meal than I could seat around one table.
But that's just me.
This, especially the bolded part.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
It would be helpful if you told us why a folding table wasn't an option. Then we could proceed with either flaming or advice-giving.
My first choice as a guest would be everyone at one table/in one room. Second choice would be buffet-style, as one PP suggested. Third choice would be split up in some way. I don't know how that split would be best, though...both ways seem kind of weird for a family dinner. Male/female is just plain weird (to me...this might be totally normal for others); and separating the families just doesn't seem like it would foster holiday togetherness, IIKWIM.
A couple Christmases ago, we had dinner at the inlaws. There wasn't enough room for everyone in the dining room (although now that I'm thinking about it, I can't figure out why...the table has at least another leaf...). SIL, BIL, a friend of their's, DH, and I formed the "kids' table" in the other room (we used the term tongue-in-cheek...we were all over 21). It definately wasn't ideal, but we had good conversation anyways and all joined in the living room for games and dessert afterwards.
I wasn't asking others to critique my setup. I was curious how others did it.
I don't like folding tables or chairs, and my family doesn't mind splitting up. People congreate and sit in the room they prefer (e.g., men in the kitchen because they can open the patio door).
I didn't invite half the people coming over, FWIW. DH insisted his family come. I would prefer it was just my family, which does fit at our table.
But are you suggesting if I have children, I only invite my parents and some siblings, since that's all that will fit at my table?
74 books read in 2011
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
You're not reading it wrong. I do not want my ILs there. My MIL told me I was being dramatic and selfish when I had several brain surgeries last year. I had surgery and yet somehow she felt slanted because she wasn't getting enough details, and I was selflish for recovering too slowly, didn't want her at the hospital, or to host her for lunch when I got home.
I am not looking for suggestions how to change my setup. It works for us, I can't change it, nor do I intend to. I was wondering what others do. But apparently you all make relatives sit on folding chairs. That works for you - as much as I dislike the idea. You don't like my idea to split people up.
To each his own.
And my last comment was because several people said I shouldn't host more than I can seat at one table. If I had children, I can't have more than half of my family over. Because my husband and children would be in seats, plus some relatives. So I'd have to limit my siblings from attending to keep them at a single table. According to some others' recommendations, I gather.
Just forget it. I was trying to make conversation, but apparently I was very wrong.
74 books read in 2011
Oh good lord. This isn't anything to get defensive over. You asked a question, people answered.
No, I don't think you should invite only the amount of people you can fit at one table (see, not EVERYONE was saying that....), but also your little snide comment about the folding chairs (but apparently you all make relatives sit on folding chairs) - hey, at MY house, that's the only way we can get everyone to fit!
So- while you're getting pissy at us that people question how you do things, now you're making some weird/ odd judgement about people who use folding chairs.
Huh? What happened in your childhood that folding chairs are "oh so bad"? Maybe if you would explain that, we coudl understand better why you'd rather split people up.
AND- based on your issues w/ your MIL (I remember your previous post about her), I actually can understand why you might want to keep her in another room away from you!
But if you dont' explain yourself and make weird judgements - yeah, people aren't going to get your point on this.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
It sounds like your problem is a big-enough table, not that you don't have enough chairs. If you added a folding table to your main table, then covered the whole thing with a tablecloth, you could use the chairs from your other table and everyone would be able to sit together.
Still, I don't understand your aversion to folding chairs... Seriously, isn't a family dinner about togetherness more than the accommodations for one's rear? Would anyone honestly be offended by a folding chair when you were kind enough to host everyone for a dinner in your home? If so, just don't invite them back for being massively inconsiderate. Problem solved
If this isn't possible, I second the notion for a buffet-style and let everyone sit wherever they want - a more casual approach will put everyone at ease and let people enjoy themselves.
If you're flexible and not too worried about seating arrangements, you'll have a better time at your own party - just relax, let it be what it's going to be, and enjoy being with your loved ones in the spirit of the season.
Wishing you a holiday full of peace and joy!
I agree with pp...it seems you have enough chairs so why not set up a folding table? Or are they not to be used either?
I must be really crazy because yes I would seat people at folding tables, and I've sat at plenty of folding tables on folding chairs and never been offended or put out.