June 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

If you had a friend...

Who had an arranged marriage back in March of '09 to a 32 year old man (she's 23), recently changed her name to something odd (not her married name, not her maiden name... She's Jewish, so I don't know if this is a custom?), deleted her wedding pictures, is no longer friends with her H on FB, and recently updated her facebook statuses to the following:

  • Please be considerate and direct all of your questions to my inbox for privacy purposes thank you!!!
  • ?Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.?
  • Resilient-1. springing back; rebounding. 2. returning to the original form or position after being bent, compressed, or stretched. 3. recovering readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyant.

 Would you assume she's getting divorced?

I'm friends with everybody in this office. We're all best friends - I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late, and start having dentist appointments that aren't dentist appointments. And that's when it is nice to let them know that you can beat them up.

Re: If you had a friend...

  • yep... that would be my first thought.  I would also probably think she was a bit crazy but that's just me...
  • It's the name changing that gets me... When I met her, she was going by Meaghan with an Irish last name.  Now she's going by Mageena.  She's the only Orthodox Jew I know, so I didn't know if the weird name changing was customary or something... At first, I thought she was pregnant, because she talked like everything was great... I'm so confused!

    And nosy, but that's besides the point.

    I'm friends with everybody in this office. We're all best friends - I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late, and start having dentist appointments that aren't dentist appointments. And that's when it is nice to let them know that you can beat them up.
  • Ditto hawki. FB almost makes me long for the old days of straight word-of-mouth gossip instead of either coming across it via relationship status or cryptic woe-is-me references.
    image image
    Lucy Elizabeth 10.27.12
  • imagehawkilady:
    yep... that would be my first thought.  I would also probably think she was a bit crazy but that's just me...

    Exactly what she said.  

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  • I'm about to jump on the phone and call a mutual friend. But, they've kind of lost touch, so I doubt she'd know either. I would love the mutual musing about what could be going on tho... Conspiracy theorists, where are youuuuu?
    I'm friends with everybody in this office. We're all best friends - I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late, and start having dentist appointments that aren't dentist appointments. And that's when it is nice to let them know that you can beat them up.
  • I automatically thought divorce. And BSC too!! LOL
  • I'm going to go with crazy.  It sounds like her site got hacked, maybe her identity was stolen or something?  The only thing that indicates divorce is de-friending her husband, but maybe he told her to (if he also believed she was hacked)?  It's possible that she doesn't realize that someone hacking your facebook account just means you need to change your password, not go off the deep end.
  • imageLarkNow:
    I'm going to go with crazy.  It sounds like her site got hacked, maybe her identity was stolen or something?  The only thing that indicates divorce is de-friending her husband, but maybe he told her to (if he also believed she was hacked)?  It's possible that she doesn't realize that someone hacking your facebook account just means you need to change your password, not go off the deep end.

     This has been going on for about six weeks, and she's always been a frequent FB user, so I doubt it was a hacking... Besides, why would she delete all the pictures of them together, but not any others? There were like 4 albums of them together that are now gone... But pics of other people's weddings from this year that were after hers are still up, and pics of people from before the wedding...

    It's all very weird.

    I'm friends with everybody in this office. We're all best friends - I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late, and start having dentist appointments that aren't dentist appointments. And that's when it is nice to let them know that you can beat them up.
  • Well...

    I'm going to be a conspiracy theorist based on some experiences of FB friends I have.

    With the name change and the "resilency" definition and the "new ending" quote I think there's possibility she may be getting divorced AND/OR possibly involved (maybe even remarried already?) to someone else.

    I will also conspiracy theorize that if she was in an arranged marriage, maybe the name change (especially since it's a first name) had something to do with the custom and/or her BSC presumably ex husband?

    Photobucket
  • I would also assume she's getting divorced. I don't understand the name changing. She changed her last name when she got married or recently? There is no Orthodox custom that I know of to create a new last name. Changing her first name...sometimes when people become more religious or more involved in a religious community they start going by a Hebrew or Yiddish first name. That being said, I've never heard the name "Mageena", but maybe she thought it sounded more Hebrew or something.

    Funny - I was thinking about just this question today. How people handle break ups on FB and how I sometimes feel like it's just TMI. One of my FB friends had a fight with her bf I guess because all her statuses were like 'screw u John!' and her relationship status went from 'in a relationship' to 'it's complicated' to 'single' and back and forth for like 2 days. I think it's weird. Personally, if I were in the situation, I'd wait until it was decided, then I'd take down my relationship status for a few days and then put it back up as single or whatever when things had settled. I barely know this woman - I don't need to know a play by play of her fight with her boyfriend.

    imageimage
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  • imageSBS0628:

    Well...

    I'm going to be a conspiracy theorist based on some experiences of FB friends I have.

    With the name change and the "resilency" definition and the "new ending" quote I think there's possibility she may be getting divorced AND/OR possibly involved (maybe even remarried already?) to someone else.

    I will also conspiracy theorize that if she was in an arranged marriage, maybe the name change (especially since it's a first name) had something to do with the custom and/or her BSC presumably ex husband?

    The name changing is weird. it went from Meaghan Maiden Name, to Meaghan Married name, to Mageena Married name, to Mageena new middle name new last name. If you look at my FB, her initials are MEH if you think seeing the name will help...

    I'm friends with everybody in this office. We're all best friends - I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late, and start having dentist appointments that aren't dentist appointments. And that's when it is nice to let them know that you can beat them up.
  • imagestjoespirit04:

    The name changing is weird. it went from Meaghan Maiden Name, to Meaghan Married name, to Mageena Married name, to Mageena new middle name new last name. If you look at my FB, her initials are MEH if you think seeing the name will help...

     I checked - and apparently she's friends with 2 of my friends! Weird! The middle name is definitely a Hebrew name. I'll see how my other friends know her.

    imageimage
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  • I'm not seeing her Walt. Maybe she's unsearchable/viewable by nonfriends.
    image image
    Lucy Elizabeth 10.27.12
  • imagemamie329:
    I'm not seeing her Walt. Maybe she's unsearchable/viewable by nonfriends.

    Would it be really creepy to FB you her name? lol

    I'm friends with everybody in this office. We're all best friends - I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late, and start having dentist appointments that aren't dentist appointments. And that's when it is nice to let them know that you can beat them up.
  • imageRedZee:
    imagestjoespirit04:

    The name changing is weird. it went from Meaghan Maiden Name, to Meaghan Married name, to Mageena Married name, to Mageena new middle name new last name. If you look at my FB, her initials are MEH if you think seeing the name will help...

     I checked - and apparently she's friends with 2 of my friends! Weird! The middle name is definitely a Hebrew name. I'll see how my other friends know her.

    That's freaking weird. 6 degrees of separation man... Even if we didn't know each other from TK, we'd still be linked, Zee. That's CREEPY. And kinda cool.

    I'm friends with everybody in this office. We're all best friends - I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late, and start having dentist appointments that aren't dentist appointments. And that's when it is nice to let them know that you can beat them up.
  • I'm facebook friends with an old acquaintance who did all the same things--she delted her wedding album, changed her facebook name, and all of her recent pictures clearly showed her left finger sans rings.  A mutual friend dug up the gossip that they mutually decided they should get a divorce.

    I hate it for her, because DH and I never thought the marriage would last.  I bet she thought it would, though.

  • Definitely divorce, that seems like a no-brainer based solely on what you've said. The name thing is a little weird, I have to say. Maybe she's changing her name on FB only and for privacy reasons. Perhaps the new name she's chosen makes sense to those close to her, but not to outsiders so she changed it in an effort to keep her soon-to-be ex-H and his minions from harrassing/stalking/bothering her?? Mike's bestie just created a FB account and his name is middle name + last name spelled backward. I recognized it as soon as I saw it on another mutual friend's page, but it definitely makes it tough for people to seek him out.
  • imagestjoespirit04:
    imageRedZee:
    imagestjoespirit04:

    The name changing is weird. it went from Meaghan Maiden Name, to Meaghan Married name, to Mageena Married name, to Mageena new middle name new last name. If you look at my FB, her initials are MEH if you think seeing the name will help...

     I checked - and apparently she's friends with 2 of my friends! Weird! The middle name is definitely a Hebrew name. I'll see how my other friends know her.

    That's freaking weird. 6 degrees of separation man... Even if we didn't know each other from TK, we'd still be linked, Zee. That's CREEPY. And kinda cool.

    I know! We were meant to be. ;)

    It's one thing I loved about Friendster - you could see all the ways you were linked to people. I also miss the friend details of how you know people from Old Facebook (I can't find it in New FB). I'm constantly surprised to find connections between random people I know.

    imageimage
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