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Re: i married a man that didn't meet my own standards

  • Try to change him, and get "him" gifts that are all about making him into who you want, of course!

    There's something niggling at the back of my head about tch81.  What is it?

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  • He's going to love his christmas gifts this year.
  • I understand her frustration, but come on. DH dressed like a slob before I came along, and I helped him find better clothes. But this guy does not sound like he wants to budge at all, and he shouldn't have to.
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  • If I remember correctly tch was on the Fall 2006 board. She was an idiot then, and she's an idiot now.

  • This is the equivalent of getting your wife a vacuum for Christmas when she has not asked for or hinted at wanting a vacuum.
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  • Kuus, just out of curiousity do you always have an issue w/a person asking their SO what they want as a gift? Or is it just because of the dingbat asking?
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  • i tend to agree with Kuus on that one.  i'll admit i asked mr. kat what in wanted in case there was something i hadn't thought of.  but came up with what to get him on my own. because he's my husband, and i think i know him pretty well.
  • Not always, because there could be something a person really wants that you might not know about, but if your only options are either that person telling you what to get or getting that person something you want, then it's an issue.  I guess my point is that you should be able to buy for your SO without asking, even if you'd like to ask just to get some extra ideas.
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  • Seriously, this is so silly. I hated the way H dressed when I met him - so when he wore something I DID like, I praised him lavishly. Eventually, he started wearing nicer clothes because he got positive reinforcement.

    Almost ANYONE will change their ways, if given enough positive encouragement to do so. That doesn't mean complaining and nagging when they do it "wrong" - it means praising when they do it "right". If she just keeps that up, and stops nagging, I'd bet actual money he'd be dressing differently within a year.

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