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i am all sorts of upset - vent and rant - loong
hey yall i just need to vent and rant somewhere where i know i am gonna get some hugs. i am so upset for the following 2 reasons - one is LONG and the other is not, but they both are just really upsetting me right now.
1. My aunt found another lump and went to the dr today. they dont think its anything because she has no breasts anymore, but i am still freaked out and just please pray or send good thoughts this way because this is totally not cool. she and her family has been through hell this year and she has been so strong and is great and just should not have to deal with this anymore. i literally found out like 10 minutes ago and i am just bawling right now. so hopefully i am putting myself in a tizzy for nothing, but please send good vibes - thanks?
2. My dad's family is all sorts of dysfunctional. i mean they put the FUN in dysfunctional. most of his brothers are alcoholics and my grandmother has had many issues since my grandfather died over 10 years ago. that being said, they are still my family and i love them. the latest situation involves christmas. last monday i received a card in the mail from my aunt and godfather with a gift card to a restaurant. i called them to tell them thanks and asked my aunt if we were celebrating christmas this year as a family. she told me no because my grandmother has been especially depressed and everyone thought that it would not help her to be around the entire family at one time. she then tells ME that my dad needs to go visit grandmother more often and that they are doing all sorts of things to 'help her out' that my mom and dad arent doing.
so next time i talked to mom and dad i told them what i was told, which of course pissed mom and dad off because my mom is the only one of the daughter in laws that works a full time job and cannot possibly go visit my grandmother every day. my dad felt guilty because i guess he doesnt go visit enough and i know he means well, but he just cant handle being around the depression all the time. plus they tell me that they have asked NUMEROUS TIMES to the brothers to get calls when they think my grandmother is not doing well, but never do they get any calls, so basically everytime something happens they get the info from 3rd party (like me). so the next day, my dad goes visit her and decides that he will cook on christmas eve (he does every year for me and my brother anyway) and invite my grandmother, my uncle that lives next door to her (who is a nasty old drunk) and his young son.?
so we have our little dinner on christmas eve, and all is good, and then dh and i go home. my mom (who just called me and told me the following) says my grandmother asks her for 2 eggs. my mom is like sure do you need more? and my grandmother goes 'no that should be enough for a potato salad for tomorrow. so mom already knows that 1 of my uncles is going to her house for christmas dinner and doesnt think anything of it.
well, my parents found out saturday that THE ENTIRE FAMILY went to my grandmothers for christmas. my parents, my brother, and i were the only ones not invited nor told about this. on christmas day, my dad went to one of my uncles to give his niece her gift. my uncle never once mentioned that they were having dinner with the entire family.
?i am so beyond upset about this. my parents are not surprised in the least that they did this because they get to hear about all sorts of fun parties that the other brothers have that they werent invited to, but this is new to me as none of us have never done or said anything to deserve this from the family. i am so totally done with them and so are my parents.
i told my mom that anytime i want to visit my grandmother i will, but as for the rest of them i want NOTHING to do with them. the bridge has been burned with me, so much that i will send my giftcard back to my godfather and aunt with a letter telling them i am very hurt that i was not included nor given the opportunity to be included in the family dinner. i am also going to mention that i do not appreciate being lied to when i asked if there was going to be a family gathering or being thrown in the middle for some issue that they may have with my mom and dad.
i just am a person who believes that a family should not treat each other like that. am i overreacting? am i wrong??
if you made it through all this, thanks. i just really needed to vent more than anything.?
Re: i am all sorts of upset - vent and rant - loong
You arent overreacting IMO, seriously I would feel the same way. Its really tough when you're dealing with situations like that and I dont see anything wrong with you sending back the giftcard and writing a letter. I'm pretty sure I would do the same thing.
I'm sorry that they are treating you guys like that, it's definetely not right but of course these are the types of things that happen when family is involved. I've dealt with similar situations in my own family and Dh's family. I think everyone has some type of "dysfunction" to some degree.
((hugs!))
Why are you not upset with your grandmother? It sounds like she's the one who hosted the party and didn't invite you even though she saw you all the day prior. I'd be ticked off at granny personally. AND she borrowed eggs from you to make salad for a party she knew she didn't invite you to. Shame on granny.
I am so sorry to hear about your Aunt. Try not to get too upset until they confirm what it is. I know that's hard but try to stay positive for her.
This is exactly what I was thinking!
~~~MARRIED BIO~~~