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my (big,long,stinky) kettle of fish
So, I have so many things going through my mind right now that I don't even know where to start with this. . .
N and I have been planning to move to WA this summer, after the school year ends (he teaches). We are moving in with my mom in her huge house (we'll have our own floor), and we plan to stay there for up to a year, in order to save more for a down payment for a house.
N is starting to do research to figure out what he needs to do to get a teaching job in WA, and we are just sort of having faith that something will work out for him. We are hoping that I will be pregnant before we leave, and I would just be quitting my job in order to be a SAHM (which we can afford, in WA). I went on his insurance this year, because it goes from October-October, so we will be covered after we leave CA, and then will pick up new coverage when (if!) he starts to teach in WA in the fall.
HOWEVER, my boss called me an hour before I left for my Christmas vacation, and told me that a job opened up at a hotel in WA, and she knows I'm not planning to move until the summer, but I would be a perfect fit for it, and they don't currently have an other candidates. . . This hotel is the same brand that I work for now, and it's slightly bigger than my current property (which would mean a raise because the minimum salary for that position is 10% above my current one). It also happens to be the absolute closest hotel to my mom's house (7 miles).
Holy. Heck.
I have an email in to the regional director who is in charge of that hotel with some questions regarding benefit enrollment and the required start date for this position, but I think this may be too good to pass up, and I'm freaking out because it's not exactly what I expected. I have a great team at my current hotel, including a new manager I just promoted, and I will feel terrible leaving them early (although I know I can't really take that into consideration when making this decision). I thought I had 6 more months in CA, not 1-2. . . And I hoped I would be pregnant by now, after 5 cycles of trying (3 this summer and 2 now).
N and I have talked it over, and we're 99.9% sure that we have to try for this. There is no guarantee that he'll be able to get a job, and there is no guarantee that I'll get pregnant anytime soon. And if I don't or can't, we'll need my income for fertility treatments or adoption.
My fears are: 1. We decide to do this, and then I end up not getting the job for some reason. 2. We do it, I get knocked up, and then he doesn't get a job and I end up having to go back to work while he stays home and I become bitter and crazy. 3. We do it, and I get ku and then have to find a way to quit without burning bridges, because I will likely want to go back some day (I would feel ok if I end up being able to work at least a full year before leaving). 4. We do it, I get ku, and then I can't quit because we decide we can't handle not having my income (which will be almost twice his).
In addition, I feel a little sad about leaving CA early, and missing out on time with my CA friends and family. N would stay behind to finish out the quarter at school, and then follow me up in April, and I also hate being away from him.
I know it's a lot of what-ifs, but it's making it hard to sleep at night. I just want to have this whole waiting/guessing/deciding/planning phase over with.
Any advice/opinions/encouragement? TIA!
Re: my (big,long,stinky) kettle of fish
Mmmkay, my opinion is to at least try to get this job for the following reasons:
1. Guranteed income in WA - it could be awhile before your DH finds a job and at least one of you would have something, right?
2. No guarantee that you will get KU soon (although crossing my fingers that you do). and you might as well work until you get ku and have a kid, right? Extra income is almost never a bad thing.
3. Would you really be bitter if your DH got to stay home with your future child(ren)? I know I might be jealous but I'd be glad that one of us got to stay home with our kid.
To me, I guess I would just try to get the WA job for the time being at least. And there is always a good way to quit without burning bridges, especially if children are involved. GL in your decision making!
If an opportunity like this presented itself to me, I would jump on it!
There are always going to be tons of what ifs, and you cant control everything or have everything go the way you want (sad but true, I am still trying to live with this...haha)
I say go for it! Its awesome you will get to live with your mom and get to save! What a blessing that is! And if yuo will be making double, then maybe put TTC to the back burner for a bit, build up a rad savings, pay down debt, get a good baby fund going....Then revisit TTC?
Ditto. It seems like too good an opportunity to pass up. It's a difficult situation because you have a lot of what-ifs and things up in the air right now. But, if you had this job, at least you'd have a definite in one area of your life to help make other decisions (regarding N, TTC, savings, etc.). I say go for it! Even though I hope you get KU soon, I' usually don't think that it's a good idea to plan the rest of your life around when or if you'll have a baby by X future date. Get the foundation pieces laid (home, jobs, savings) and then you'll have an easier time figuring out what to do once a baby comes along.
GL with whatever you decide!
Rachel has a lot of good points, the best one being a guranteed job where you want to live. I would jump on it . . . I don't want to tell you to delay TTC because I know you may be having some issues, but if you don't get pregnant for 6 months into the new job, you'd be there over a year before you had to quit or go on maternity leave.
I wouldn't feel bad about leaving your current place of employment early. Although you have a duty to your employees, you have to be an advocate for yourself.
This.
I think you're looking a gift house in the mouth, my friend!
The universe it totally making way for you, which is a sign that you're on the right path. It will keep making way for you if you follow it. There may be moments where it looks like a bad idea, even after you choose it, but if you stick to the path, good things will just keep coming and coming.
How awesome!
It sounds like this is one of those things where you have to just close your eyes and jump. On paper at least, it sounds like an amazing opportunity. Over the last year or so I have learned to trust "fate" and the universe ... some call it God, but whatever you call it, I truly believe that things happen for a reason and in your situation it sounds like someone or something is nudging you toward WA earlier than you expected.
I think you gave yourself the best advice when you said there are no guarantees about pregnancy or N's job. You can't plan your life around "what ifs." That being said, I wouldn't move there without a guarantee of a job... which should eliminate fear #1 you listed.
#2. If you do happen to get knocked up and N doesn't get a job, that could happen anyway, even if you don't take the job. At least this way there's a guaranteed one income instead of you not having a job and N not having a job. You'd be just as bitter and crazy staying at home with both of you unemployed.
#3 Quitting without burning bridges is a toughie, but people do it all the time and it sounds like you've built up a stellar reputation with your hotel chain in the past. Nobody would judge you for wanting to start a family. Yes, it's uncomfortable to quit, but it's a part of life. I'm sure it's no secret a twenty/thirty something woman would be interested in getting pregnant. It's not going to shock anybody. And the odds are good, like you said, that you'd be working a full year or close enough to it.
#4) Build a lifestyle that you can afford on one income. I have a friend who trapped herself by buying a big home and new car, etc. and now that she wants to stay home with her new baby, she can't. This fear, again, doesn't depend on moving or the new job -- it could happen regardless of where you live or where you work, you just have to plan around it.
Big hugs to you and N. Often times people struggle to make things happen, like a new job or new city, but it seems like this is just the most natural fit for you guys and it's taking shape all on its own.
This.
I also agree with everyone else. It's a job exactly where you want it and need it, it's too good to pass up, IMHO. Embrace what the universe is sending your way, sweetie!
Definitely try to put your salary into savings and live off N's salary as soon as you can, so you can have a nice cushion for SAH and so you know how to manage your budget to make SAH happen.
I love you girls
. I'm going for it! I'm going to go post now 
. N and I were both saying that things always seem to work out for us, and this is probably our chance for the move to work out!
Thank you, beautiful voices of reason!