Sex & Romance
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Never enough for my husband..
Sex that is.. it is never enough or the way he wants to it be. We are having a pretty big fight that started last night. He tried to wake me up when he got home to have sex and I didn't want to. I think he is totally overreacting but this is a fight we have every few months: not enough sex for him. I seriously think if we did it every day it still wouldn't be enough. We usually do it about 3-4 times a week.. I think. He makes comments that I need to watch porn to "learn" something. My feelings are really hurt. I know he enjoys it when we do it but he wants things differently that I am not comfortable with...sorry I am new here so I am not really sure if I am asking in the right place but any advice would be great.
Re: Never enough for my husband..
OP, I have a problem with the comment above. Your H is being very insensitive and what he is doing is verbally abusing you.
If your husband's notions of sex in general and womens' sexuality in particular are informed by porn, then you have much, much bigger problems than how often he wants it. And suggesting that you need to watch porn to "learn something" is beyond douchebaggery.
Counseling, yesterday.
This, all of it, 3 times over.
He makes comments that I need to watch porn to "learn" something
This is douchery at it's finest. Shin kick. Throat punch. Face punch. In that order. HTH! YWIA!
Seriously though, I agree with the couseling because they are definitley other issues lurking about. GL!
I think this is a prime example of how porn can really damage a relationship. He has ridiculous expectations... and is apparently not thinking about YOU so much as the girls in the movies. He's a jerk for watching porn and he's a MAJOR douche for thinking/saying those things to you. And talking to you like that certainly isn't going to work out to his advantage.
assuming he's not an abusive, porn-addicted jerk - you've both got to sit down and openly talk about what you're comfortable with and what you're realistic desires and expectations for sex are. i think it's important to go past your own comfort levels every now and then because that's how you find out new things that you like, you're doing something special for your H and if you can work together (and he can be respectful, sensitive, etc...) to find new things and build trust.
wow that's really sad- he sounds like a major jerk- you should tell him that 3-4 times a week is a LOT of sex adn he should be happy
def therapy where I am sure your therapist will give it to him
Missed Miscarriage discovered at 9w6d
D&E 10.27.2011
I'll love you forever Baby Speck
Yes, he's a douche, and since he's being a douche, now he would really get none. He's the one who needs counseling. He sounds like a sex addict, but that doesn't mean he has to take out his frustrations out on you.
I completely agree with this.
Where IRL would you ever 1 see chicks that good looking with fat hair backed men that weren't filtly rich 2 who on earth would ever think that women really like being treated like nothing more then a hole to put their pecker in.
Don't get me wrong I do like porn but H and I both understand that it isn't real. You know it's like the WWE it's all scripted.
He makes comments that I need to watch porn to "learn" something. My feelings are really hurt.
As well they should be.
Wow, what an insensitive d!ck he is.
Four times a week is plenty -- what has he got to complain about?
This is douchery at it's finest. Shin kick. Throat punch. Face punch. In that order. HTH! YWIA!
Naw, I was thinking kidney punch, rabbit punch, roundkick then axe.
Something else is behind his litany of complaints. Counseling and also a sex therapist...yesterday.
If he was like this when you were dating -- I don't mean to add insult to injury, but if this issue was prevalent when you were dating, you should have asked yourself was it worthwhile pursuing a relationship with a guy who could not compromise with you regarding sex.
YOu just had a child, I believe -- this is probably a contributing factor: an infant is demanding and you're probably dead tired and consideer that your hormones are probably in flux due to the pregnancy. Can't he even get THAT much through his head??
Love this.
After the ninja moves and with a bit of counselling and learning to communicate better, you may find that your partner is just looking to spice things up. Can't justify the rude commentary, but sometimes we can all be hurtful when we're frustrated. He needs to learn how to communicate his frustrations more appropriately and then he needs to learn that your position on it is also relevant.
Also, 3-4 times per week is a healthy sex life. Don't question that or let him make you feel like it's not.
If you are feeling like compromising, short of the counselling, tell him what you need in order to get you in the mood for sex (and what turns you off, ie. hurtful comments). If he's too lazy to put in the leg work, he's only got himself to blame.
WOW! He sounds like a winner! While I feel bad for the girl, it sounds like you dodged a bullet!!
"Glitter is the herpes of arts and crafts. It stays on you forever."
And this ^ is why I have a problem w/ guys watching porn. I'd cross your legs till he smartens up--if he ever does.
All that with a HELL YEAH at the end!