I was pretty insecure from about 12 to 24, but then a switch flipped and I realized I pretty much like myself. There's always room for improvement, but I'm pretty self-confident now and I'm finally at a point where stupid things like zits don't get me down.
However, I'm still really sensitive about my intelligence. I'm a pretty smart kid, but I always hung out with REALLY smarts kids. All my friends in high school where ranked in the top 20 and I was probably way past 50. J also went to a really good school and I went an average one. I'm sensitive about my writing skills and whenever I'm criticized, I feel like I'm 12 again.
All this came up because I have a friend who's helping me with my resume for a job with his company. J and I spent hours working on it yesterday and I thought it was awesome . . . but then he e-mailed me back with all these suggestions of things to change. Which is what I want, but I guess I feel dumb I didn't get it right the first time. Know what I mean?
Re: What are you sensitive about?
I'm sensitive most about my appearance...skin/breakouts, nose, and weight in particular. It definitely all stems from being an overweight kid and being teased. I still remember some of the things kids said to me back then. I know it shouldn't bother me now at this point in my life, but it's hard to shake.
Since I've reached my 20s though, I'm much more confident about myself as a person overall, but if I feel self-conscious about something with my appearance a certain day I can feel my confidence drain to close to zero.
I completely understand this. I'm always very sensitive when something about my writing is pointed out as being incorrect. Writing/editing is what I do, and while I'm always open to constructive criticism and help, there's a part of me that always feels bummed that I didn't notice something initially.
Def understand...
I will always be 'the little sister', so my sister is known as the smart one. She and I have both had two decent careers and I'm intelligent in different ways, whereas she is very book smart. Dh says I underestimate myself on this.
1. my weight - which I can do nothing about at the moment...but will hopefully have an obviously pregnant belly to show off soon
2. my job status - getting laid off twice in one year can really make an educated girl feel like she wasted 7 years of her life on 2 silly degrees. (In reality I know I am good at what I do and it really is just the economy...but sometimes I forget to remind myself that I'm not a stupid slacker...just the low-man-on-the-totem-pole who doesn't have the seniority to survive another layoff.)
3. People commenting on my intelligence...I was the hard-working smart girl...valedictorian in HS...I hated the attention. I went to a huge college so I could be average for the first time in my academic life.
TTC #1 13 cycles, CP 6/09, TTC #2 1 cycle
CDing, EP'd for 13 months for #1, BFing for #2
Pregnancy Hypertension - inductions at 39w, I grow big babies: DD was 9 pounds 1 ounce 22 inches, DS was 11 pounds even 22 inches - both vaginal deliveries
I really don't get insecure too often about things, and I just asked M what he thought and he said "Nothing, you think you're awesome." LOL, uh, thanks I guess!
I guess if I had to pick something, though, I would really take it to heart if someone I really respected said that I was dumb or immature.
Bahahaha. I think my husband would say the same thing.
I'm the exact same way. When DH and I 1st started dating all of his friends sadi this. Now, it's not to often that it happens, but it bothers me when it does.
Also, I am always insecure about my weight. I was a normal weight most of my life and fairly thin in high school, but I was picked on nontheless. My sister was actually the worst. When I was in high school and was 115lbs (I'm 5'4"), she still told me I was fat...
Until last year I was extremely sensitve about myself in general too. I was picked on and made fun of is ms/hs pretty harshly. I would leave school in tears and was invited to parties (fron w/e sport team I was on) just to be made fun of while I was there (after 2 partied with separte groups of people, I stopped going). I never will forget any of it, but I realized those girls were just jealous b!thces, and have learned to love myself.