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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
this years anny present - for those wondering...
For those wondering what I got for my 3rd anniversary... just to refresh your memory. I have been following loosely the yearly gifts - so year 1 paper, year 2 cotton, year 3 leather, etc.
From DH:
I got nothing year 1.
The next year (i posted a pic under my happy anniversary post below) I got the t-shirt.
This year I got a pair of work shoes... these ones.
Now i know this is exponentially better from said previous gifts but i just feel let down. am i crazy??
Re: this years anny present - for those wondering...
If they were shoes that you liked would you have been disappointed? Would he be insulted if you exchanged them? I'm sure it's difficult to feel appreciative after several years of let-downs, but it does seem like he put forth more effort than last year, so I'd try and focus on that. Is he a better gift giver for other holidays?
Oh Becky. I bet he bought them for you because you do a lot on your feet and those look....comfortable? Maybe?
My Dh is also a pretty bad gift giver. Some years/events are better than others, and I'm really sorry that your anniversaries have overall been pretty disappointing.
Did he get shoes b/c he felt obligated to get something that "fits" the theme, and so he got them b/c they are leather?
If so, and if he's generally more thoughtful with other gifts, I might let the idea of his keeping in the theme go. If you want to for your gifts to him, that's fine, but maybe he just feels pressure to stay within the theme, and thus he has a hard time coming up with a gift. Also, remember that there are two gift lists - traditional and modern, so if you really want him to do theme gifts, maybe expand it to either list (though you might get an appliance for 4 years!)
I also have a December anniversary, and I have also been loosely keeping within the themes. And by loosely, I mean that for 2 years, when one of the theme options was china I got him a book on the history of map-making (a subject that interests him) and put a post-it on the page about China.
But, I also think it's hard to come up with an anniversary gift (and the funds for it) when I'm also Christmas shopping. This year, one of my friends said "why don't you just wait and give gifts on your 1/2 anniversary" (i.e. at the 6-month mark). So, DH and I decided we'd go to dinner on our real anniversary, but we'll celebrate again on June 17 and give gifts! Something like that may work for you if part of your DH's concern is coming up with good anniversary & Christmas gifts at the same time.
Yep to fit into the theme - I gave him plenty of ideas and you can google other cute things too. at least he tried a bit.
Terp - as far as other gifts go he isnt any better. For Christmas I got a cross-stitch kitten kit. I like crafts so he thought i would enjoy it - which i do but i guess i was hoping for something more i dunno romantic every once in a while. He said i could exchange them but i feel bad.
hummmm, well it appears to be a honest thoughtful gift
if you don't like them I wouldn't be afraid to praise him for the effort and ask if he would be offended if you exchanged them for something more...versatile? He wants you to be happy, so I think he'd let you!
I agree. There are certain things that DH is more "proud" of than others--those gifts that he doesn't really care about, I generally don't hesitate to exchange them. I mean, after all, in the end, I think he'd probably want his hard earned money actually USED (albeit in a different product) than just wasted sitting in the back of a closet. For the items that DH is more proud of....well, it just depends on how much $$ he spent. If its something little, I'll keep it, but for instance, my wedding gift (a sapphire bracelet) I didn't hesitate to exchange for something I'd actually wear.
I wouldn't feel bad about exchanging them. Two years ago DH got me a purse for my b'day, knowing I wanted a new one. What he didn't know was that the two things I didn't like about the purse I had were that the handles were short and I could not carry it over my shoulder, and that it didn't totally close at the top.
The purse DH got me had short handles, and didn't close. I explained what I didn't like, showed him some pics of ones I did like, and he went and got me a different one. So, he still picked it out, but it met my criteria.
Since it sounds like he's not great at chosing gifts in general, I'd probably be honest with him and say "I would really appreciate it if you would get me something off this list" and then give him a bunch of choices. You're still surprised b/c you don't know which item you're getting, but you know it's something you want.
Maybe you could try what me and my hubby usually do. My DH is really great a gifts and loves to spend lots of $$ on them. Unfortunately, we're on a budget, and he completely ignores it for gifts for me. I don't want to get mad at him, but we do have a budget to stick to. What we've been doing is shopping for something together. So for our 3rd anniversary we went to Verizon and bought new blackberries, something we both had been wanting. For Christmas last year he really wanted a certain kitchen appliance, but I didn't know what I wanted, so we went shopping and got his present, then walked around the mall until we found me something. It's a fun date and ensures that we're both happy.