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LIVID at my MIL *vent obviously*
So I just happened to see an email of DH's from his mom about some of his heart health stuff that is going on right now. He said to her that he was glad he had to have the surgery now rather than before we have kids. She is rambling and THEN has the nerve to say:
"And you know Mandy would have to be cleared medically to have a baby at her current state, right? OBGYNS tell women they have to be under a certain weight or they are at risk of death to their self and/or baby. And women can throw themselves into gestational diabetes for themselves and their baby which brings on lifelong difficulties"
Are you effing kidding me?!?! I may be overweight but I am in no way obese or anything. WTF does she think that is ok to say to my husband. I'm so upset right now.
TTC #1 since February 2011
BFP #1 1/14/12 EDD 9/24/12 m/c at 8w4d on 2/20/12
March 2012- Dx with PCOS, started metformin
July 2012- SA completely normal
Re: LIVID at my MIL *vent obviously*
you probably ARE obese, but not morbidly obese. you can find out by calculating your BMI here:
http://www.bmi-calculator.net/
that being said, you can have a perfectly healthy pregnancy while obese. your mil is ignorant. and she is really inconsiderate to put your husband in the awkward position of hearing her nonsense. i hope she learns to respect that he loves you and she only hurts him when she attacks you.
from one obese girl to another, keep your chin up. she's not worth the energy it takes to be upset.
My wii fit informed me that I, too, am obsese. awesome. However, the wii fit is not my MIL and I completely understand your frustration. Honestly, she's putting her nose where it doesn't below. I agree that it's not worth the energy to be upset. Really, no one asked her opinion on your weight - so carry on...
"The House We Built."
A journey of building the dream.
Awesome. According to that I am obese and that certainly doesn't make me feel any better. With that said, my MIL still needs to keep her trap shut. My weight is none of her concern.
TTC #1 since February 2011
BFP #1 1/14/12 EDD 9/24/12 m/c at 8w4d on 2/20/12
March 2012- Dx with PCOS, started metformin
July 2012- SA completely normal
I am sorry. Unfortunately you can?t control the stupidity that comes from your MIL. It isn?t any of her business, but my advice would be to gently mention to your DH that it hurt your feelings and let it go. Belittling her to him makes the situation worse because your DH then gets it from two sides and HE is the one with an actual health issue. Make a mental note of how this made you feel and promise that if you ever have a son you won?t be like her when your son marries. Your future DIL will thank you!
As for your weight, before my marriage went to hell in a hand basket, we were talking about starting a family. At the time I was ?obese? and I specifically ask Dr. Seeker if I should wait until I lost weight before TTC. He told me not to worry about it whatsoever, and women much heavier than me have healthy babies all the time. Now, I opted to drop 60 pounds, but I also dropped my H.
Hang in there. My MIL and I never got along. There is just something about mothers and sons. Ladies out there with great relationships with their MILs are rare and lucky. All of my bickering and distain for my MIL did not help my marriage. In fact, when my STBXH was struggling with our relationship issues he confided in her and she threw me under the bus. I don?t blame her for the break up of my marriage, but there is something to the saying "keep your friends close and your enemies closer".
Enough rambling?..Happy New Year!!!!
Your MIL is evil. Let it go, she's not worth it!
ditto pps. And Jezca is right, I think she's the one who mentioned it, being obese =/= complications. Plenty of skinny chicks have complications, too. I'm overweight (I hate the other "o" word and won't use it...hello, denial!) and didn't develop GD during my first pregnancy. My OB has never said one word to me about my weight, except to assure me that it was not the cause of my hypertension last time. Complications happen to anybody, they don't discriminate based on BMI.
If it really bothers you, I might mention it to DH and tell him it hurts your feelings, be sure he stands up for you when needed, and try to ignore MIL. She's an idiot.
nice, my BMI is .27 inside the normal range, I guess I'm just barely hanging in there