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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Are you Catholic? Then come in please... (and pardon my ignorance)
I've been invited to my first Catholic baptism. The daughter of a good friend of mine.
Never been to one before.
What to expect? Is it a full mass? What is proper etiquette? Dress? Are gifts expected?
I know I've heard of people serving meals after, but there was no mention on the invite. Should I plan on there being some sort of reception-type thingy afterward?
DH thinks I'm nuts for being so worried about it, but I want to make sure we are being respectful of their ritual / tradition.
TIA!
Never been to one before.
What to expect? Is it a full mass? What is proper etiquette? Dress? Are gifts expected?
I know I've heard of people serving meals after, but there was no mention on the invite. Should I plan on there being some sort of reception-type thingy afterward?
DH thinks I'm nuts for being so worried about it, but I want to make sure we are being respectful of their ritual / tradition.
TIA!
Re: Are you Catholic? Then come in please... (and pardon my ignorance)
It's been a while since anyone in my family has went through baptism but I remember my cousin's being a full mass. Dress really depends on the church, but I would say business casual or better would be fine. We always had a reception afterward but that would depend on the family. Gifts are optional and if you do get a gift maybe something from a catholic gift shop or religion store would be the best.
Don't worry, it's not any bigger of a deal at the church than a regular mass, other than they do the baptisms, so don't stress out about it!!
I think this may vary from church to church, but every baptism I've ever been to was a full mass. I would wear nice church going clothes, a nice pair of slacks and a sweater, cute skirt something like that. We always got and gave presents for baptisms but I don't think its expected, just a nice gesture Typical gifts that I've seen were usually something like a rosary, precious moments figurine, or something else religious. We've always had people over to the house for a little get together afterwards, but I do know some people only do this with really close family members and some people don't do it at all. I wouldn't be suprised if they ask you at the church to come back to the house for some lunch or just cake.
I think it's great that you're asking all these questions, but I think you'll be absolutely fine! Especially in this day and age when alot of things fly at church that I know completely apaul my grandmother (ie jeans at church). Try to have fun and just take in the experience, its also sooo much fun to see how the kids react. My church gives the option of dunking (what my family calls it) the kid in the baptismal font or pouring holy water over their head. One time this 2 year old was getting dunked and he thought it was just the funniest d@mn thing. It was a riot. Other kids cry, some sleep right through it, it's just fun to watch them and to be apart of this big step in their religious life.
Like others stated, depends on the church. Some do it during the full mass (think business casual at most locations and you will be safe, although I usually wear a dress), while some do a more private ceremony after. As for gifts, check Hallmark stores. They typically have little spiritual gifts that are under 20 dollars that make a good gift, or even the savings bond idea would work.
Some have receptions after, but most typically state it on the invitation. Is this a person you could ask? If not I would go with the flow.
Allie's baptism took place during mass. We were given the option of doing it during mass or after mass and chose to have it as a part of the mass. That is the way my church did it growing up and I liked that the whole church community was welcoming the child into the parish.
I wore black slacks and a nice top, but I hate wearing dresses. My SIL and sister both had cute spring dresses on.
We had a reception at a local restaurant afterwards. Allie and the triplets were baptized together so there were quite a few people and our house is small. Most people brought gifts, but not everyone. Gifts ranged from savings bonds and crosses to clothes, toys and diapers.
You'll be totally fine! Many churches are more relaxed these days than when we were growing up. Enjoy the special day!
Photos courtesy of Jen Rose Photography
Dh and I were raised Catholic. They might do the baptism during the mass, they may do it after. Don't wear jeans or shorts (not that you would in January!) or anything super low cut (some priests get really upset with dressing down/sexy for mass). I would wear slacks or a dress-think work outfits or a little dressier. You do not need to kneel (sit instead), participate in any of the prayers, do the sign of the cross, etc. Pretty much just act respectful, that's it. Do not go to communion if it's offered. Catholic communion is not the same as protestant communion. Catholics believe that it really is the body & blood of Jesus, not just a representation of Jesus or the Last Supper. Only practicing Cathoics in good standing are suppsed to recieve Catholic communion. People can get really angry when non-Catholics go to communion. I think a small ($20) gift or cash is fine. Some families have people back to their homes (my family did this), some have a recption at church (inlaws do this).
That's pretty much it. You really only need to be concerned with not wearing jeans and not going to communion, IMO.
Just like PP's said, business casual is perfect. Our church holds baptism after mass (1:30 on Sunday - what time does your invite state?) and the whole thing lasts about 30 mins depending on how many children are being baptized.
Every baptism I have been to involved a reception of some sort but I would just roll with whatever.
A small gift is a nice gesture. We received some lovely frames for K's baptism probably found at Berean Christian stores or Hallmark. Things Remembered also has nice baptism gifts. Typically the Godparents or Grandparents will get the child a crucifix and bible so don't buy those
We received a nice book of inspirational children's stories which was also a nice gift and probably cost under $15.
Kate's baptism wasn't during a mass (that wasn't an option and was at Mary, Queen of Heaven in Erlanger). It was in the afternoon, took about 30 minutes, and then we had everyone back to our house. Like others mentioned, business casual is fine. In this weather, I would wear pants and a nice sweater/top.
As far as a gift goes, I always suggest this book. Kate got it and still loves it! I just purchased on last week at the Family Christian Store in Florence. Also, one of my favorite gifts was a small cross that has a prayer on it. We hung it over Kate's light switch and say it every morning before we leave her room.
GL!
I agree with the previous posters that whether or not the sacrament of Baptism is celebrated during a Mass does vary by parish. I also agree that attire is conservative; a nice blouse with slacks or a simple dress would be appropriate. I typically plan my attire and the style of our gift according to the formality of the invitation or, lacking an invitation, the formality of the family. If the family tends to dress casually, then I veer toward a nice blouse with slacks, whereas if the family tends to dress up, then I will wear a nice blouse with a skirt or a simple dress. If my top does not cover my arms, then I might bring a cardigan sweater to wear while in the church.
In my experience, giving a gift is customary. While some gifts are religious, many are not. Baby fork and spoon sets, baby jewerly and jewelry albums or keepsake boxes, baby blankets and quilts, books, cashmere stuffed animals, china or earthenware banks, collectible figurines, frames, growth charts, memory albums, porcelain boxes, silver combs, silver cups, and silver rattles are all items we've seen given at Baptisms in addition to the usual bibles, crosses, and money.
Have fun!