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Church: Solo or Together?
I just read AustinBride's post (much dust to you, dear) and it made me think of something.
Church. Do you go? If so, do you go with DH or by yourself?
I think I'd love to go to church, but I wasn't raised going. DH was methodist and his family went off and on. He is pretty agnostic at this point. I feel like I am pretty spiritual as I pray often and I believe that there is a higher power.
Whenever I bring it up, DH never says anything, he just kinda nods like it would be a good idea but he isn't interested. We just got back from a wedding and he loved the ceremony (he LOVES weddings) because he likes to be reminded about the important things in marriage and what needs to be done for maintenance and upkeep. To me, that's what church is. Its a time-out every week to go and listen to someone talk about being a better person and then for you to reflect on what that means for you, in many aspects of life.
I can't see myself going alone, though. What's it like for y'all? Anyone succeeded in getting a reluctant DH to go? And, any recommendations? We live southwest.
Re: Church: Solo or Together?
We go off and on. DH was raised Southern Baptist, with infrequent church and I was raised whatever-floats-your-boat. I went to Pentecostal, Mormon, Baptist, Wiccan studies, Lord knows what else. My family roots are Methodist, I believe.
DH and I have gone to church off-an-on together. We definitely have different views on religion and I think our lack of commitment comes from not having found a good compromise church. I think he is more inclined than me to go to church, but I'm just as content to sit at home and read books about it (hello, Encycopedia of World Religion). Also, with his work schedule and the way churches are scheduled, he can usually only go to one of three Sunday services. That may improve being closer to town, though.
I would like to be more comfortable with a church if/ when we get around to having kids so I can provide them with a good foundation.
DH was raised Baptist, and I went to for Christmas Easter ect to a methodist church. We go together every Sunday and on the few occasions that he does have to work I usually go alone.
We haven't been in a couple of months because we've either been OOT or one of us has been sick, but we go together. When we first met, DH did not attend church but was really wanting to start. He eventually joined the Lutheran church/synod that I belong to. After we moved here, he got really lazy about going, especially if he'd been out the night before. I am an early riser so I would just get up and go without him. It was a little weird, but I didn't care. Hey, it's my soul right?
Anyhoo, after a while he realized he missed going and started to join me again.
I encourage you to try out some churches on your own and find one you like. Once your DH sees that you are getting another level of fullfillment in your life and really enjoying it, he might come around. Sometimes you just have to do things for yourself. If you're longing for a congregation, go! You'll be happy you did.
We go together. I was raised Methodist and FI was raised Catholic, then his whole family went Baptist, but he started going to a Methodist church on his own. It was important to me in a partner to find somebody who shared my belief in the importance of church and core Christian values even if we have some differences of opinion on more specific issues and what the Bible says about them. I just lucked out in finding somebody even more dedicated than me. He was the pianist at his church when we started dating, so I began attending with him rather than us both going to mine and him giving up that role. I really love the tradition of church and the beauty of the rituals, so we go to a good, old fashioned Methodist service.
Anyhow...I vividly remember the women at church when I was a kid who would go by themselves or bring their kids, even though their husband always stayed home or only came on holidays. I really admired them. I don't have much advice but would to encourage you to go, even if G isn't into it.
Find a friend who will go with you or just try different churches by yourself until you find one that is so welcoming and friendly (as all churches should be, but many unfortunately aren't) that you don't mind going alone. Maybe look for one that has a group/Sunday school specifically for people your age, so you can find a smaller community within the church. Then come home and talk about how it makes you feel to have that refresher and start your week off on the right foot. Maybe if he sees that you are committed to doing it and going every week, he will decide to go with you. I can't recommend my church, as it's in Taylor, but I was confirmed at Oak Hill UMC and always liked it there, though I haven't been there since I was a teenager.
ETA: The church that I was attending by myself before FI and I met was University UMC. It's not south, but not a bad drive. I love it there. They are pretty liberal in theology and they offer a very traditional service and fairly recently started a contemporary one, but I've never been to it. They have lots of small groups (they have an in home small group program organized by location, since the membership is really spread out all around the city) and I loved my Sunday school class there too.
DH and I were both raised Catholic. I still consider myself Catholic and DH pretty much considers himself agnostic. He'll go to church with me if I insist, and I don't usually insist unless it's a major holiday or we're with my parents, etc. I don't go by myself... not because I don't want to, just because I haven't made attending mass a priority in my life lately. This is something I've been wanting to change, especially before we have kids because I'd like our kids to grow up learning about the Catholic faith (if they decide to stick with it or not will be their choice).
I don't have a good excuse at all for not going... the nearest Catholic church to us is literally in our neighborhood a few blocks over from our house within walking distance. DH doesn't really like it because they have more of a contemporary feel (no kneelers! gasp!) and if he's going to prefer any religion it would be the traditional Catholic church that he was raised in. When we went to the Vatican this summer he LOVED it (said it almost turned him Catholic again, lol).
Anyway, I don't think I could get DH to go with me on a regular basis, even if I started going regularly again. But I know he'd come with me at important times and when I specifically ask him to. He hasn't taken communion since I've known him though.
BFP 12.20.2010 :: missed m/c 1/2011 around 8 weeks
BFP @ 9dpo 5.24.2011 :: missed m/c 6/2011 around 7 weeks
positive for ANAs (1:40) with a speckled pattern
MTHFR c677t mutation (heterozygous)
*folic acid, baby asprin, Prometrium, acupuncture, Lovenox*
BFP @ 9dpo 2.1.2012 || HCG = 8 : Progesterone = 19.2
2nd HCG @ 11dpo = 40 || 3rd HCG @ 21dpo = over 5000!
Stick, little one, stick! EDD October 15, 2012
I actually met my husband at church in college, so yes, we go together, and we are fortunate to share the same beliefs. We attended FEFC for quite a while before we moved. I definitely rec that as a SW church. Although not perfect, I haven't been to one I liked better in Austin. Your DH might like it because the messages are usually pretty intellectual. They don't teach like you're hearing the principles for the first time, which I find irritating at some other churches.
If you don't want to attend a Sunday service alone, you could start out with a women's Bible study. Hope you find something you like!
We don't go. DH wants to except for the Sunday morning part
He really enjoys his Saturday evenings, KWIM?
I want to go when we have kids, so that my kids can be raised "in the church." DH agrees with that, especially since he's more religious than I am.
We have been together ... we used to go with his mother on holidays.
I was raised catholic, went through confirmation, CCD, the whole 9 yards. once I was confirmed, we stopped going regularly as a family (weird?). I used to be a CEO (christmas and easter only) but we stopped doing that, too. per my dad's request, we did get married in the catholic church, although I feel a little guilty about that since I'm not the model catholic.
we've talked about it and once we have kids, we'd like to raise them with some kind of religion and go from there.
We are both Catholic and come from extremely Catholic families but both fell off a little in college but got back involved as we have gotten older. We actually got to know each other through the singles group at church and reconnected when some of our friends from church got married and well the rest is history. As for our services, we go together unless one of us is sick or has to be out of town; it's just easier for us, plus St. Theresa's (2222 area) has a 5pm mass on Sunday which makes going much easier.
Amy
I guess DH and I are the odd ones out. We never go. He isn't religious and I'm atheist.
I don't think you're odd man out. I just think you're the only one with that opinion who posted on this thread.
Yeah, there are a heck of a lot more people on this board than those who responded.