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WWYD in this wedding situation?

I am a bridesmaids in one of my childhood friend's wedding.  This morning, I received a card from her that says "will you be my maid of honor?"  Well, of course I will, and I'm incredibly flattered.  However, I am terrified of giving a speech and I always have been.  Is it traditional to give a maid of honor speech or does just the best man do it?  Would it be wrong of me to say "sure, I'll be your maid of honor as long as there is no speech involved!"  I'm not sure if she expects this or not.  Obviously if she really wants me to do it, I will.  What do you think?

Re: WWYD in this wedding situation?

  • I didn't have my MOH give a speech. Maybe you could talk to her about it and see if she would like for you to give a speech and let her know that you are afraid.
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  • I think it's fine to discuss it with her.  We didn't have MOH/Best Man speeches either so it wouldn't have mattered to me.
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  • There were no speeches planned for our wedding. My MOH however, made the decision to give one on her own accord.
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  • I don't think it would be a big deal at all to ask her if she expects it of you.  I think I've only been to one wedding where the MOH gave a speech and that was only because the best man didn't want to.  It probably won't be an issue.
  • I was a MOH the beginning of this month and I did not give a speech.  When I was married I did not have my MOH give a speech either, I think you will be fine, just make sure you mention it to her
  • Maybe see if one of her other friends can give a speech?  I've seen this done at other weddings.
  • When I've been moh I haven't given a speech and mine did not either. I really don't think it's required and hopefully when you express your concern she'll be understanding.
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  • I was a MOH in one wedding and I did give a very short speach/toast. It was the wedding of two very good friends of mine and I was fine when I agreed to do it but when the day got there I was so so scared. I remember practiceing it while we were getting our hair done for her Mom over and over, her Mom was the one who helped me actually get the nerve to do it.  

    But it is not a reuired tradition, I didn't have my sister do it for mine and I think only one other wedding I have ever been to has the MOH given a speach. I would just ask your friend about what she expects for this part of the wedding and if she was interested in having you say something just let her know your feelings about it.

  • i think that if she wants you to, it would be nice if you could really practice it and try to get yourself comfortable. i know for me, it meant a lot to hear what my MOH had to say.

    however, i dont think that this should stop you from being MOH. just talk to her. you are very close, i assume, so i doubt that she will be upset if you talk to her about it.

    i would be upfront about it though. better to put it out there now.

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  • I think it's ok to discuss with her. 

    Our MOH did not give a speech, though I gave her the option if she wanted to just so I knew to build it into the day of schedule.  Absolutely no pressure. 

    I have heard of the MOH giving a speech at the rehearsal dinner, and this might be something you could suggest as a compromise since it would be a smaller, more private setting to honor them in.

    Or if she really wants a speech at the wedding, team up with the best man and give a speech together.  I've seen this done, and it's usually more entertaining for the guests, plus it takes the pressure off of each of you.

  • Thank you for all of the suggestions ladies!  I think I may broach the subject of saying something at the rehearsal dinner...
  • I don't know if this helps or not, but I've never been to a wedding where the MOH gave a speech.

    At my wedding we only had a speech from the Best Man.

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