November 2008 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
FF
Because I'm sure I'm not the only one who needs this.
Re: FF
FIL + MIL: Please for the love of all things holy, put us all out of our misery and get a fvcking divorce already.
MIL: You're a douchebag, I am sick and tired of everything being blamed on your going through "the change of life'. Fvck you. You know what you need to do to help US ALL and you refuse to do it because you're selfish.
FIL: Open your fvcking eyes man.
Life: Please, get better, you aren't terrible, but I need to move forward here!
Money: Please start growing on trees, or falling out of the sky or SOMETHING, I really could use a ton of you right now.
Self: You're disgusting.
D - Really? Seriously? Every single time something is wrong with me there has to be something equally X A million wrong with you. Why can't you just allow me to be sick and leave it at that? What the hell happened to you as a child that makes you conjure up these symptoms so that you can compete with my illness? The reason the doctor told you that your case was extraordinary is because you went in there sounding like the godfather with ZERO symptoms and she was wondering how an old as$ man looked so young for his age. There is nothing wrong with you so STFU. No, unlike what you THINK you heard the doctor say, an earache in only one ear is completely normal. Happens every day. You staying up all night long playing video games probably has a huge part as to why you feel like crap. Your body is tired because you need to sleep. Stay on the couch. Actually, I enjoy you out there and sleep peacefully but for the love of all things holy, I will not entertain your fake illnesses or baby and cater to you.
ETA: D - I asked you to do one GD thing yesterday. ONE single thing. Take out the ground meat to thaw so that I can cook dinner when I get home. I get home and you are in the same effing place i left you. In the dark, on the couch, playing PS3, "sick". After my long day of work I walk to the kitchen to look for the GB and did you take it out of the freezer? Of course effing not because you area lazy COW. You may think your ear hurts now but it wont get better for you until you get of your arse. I can promise you that.
Dr. - It shouldnt take this long. First you said a week, then you said 7 days. Now you are saying 10 to 15. Well which one is it, a week or 15 days cause this sh!t is going to drive me BSC. I want to move on but I cant because I am waiting on YOU!!!!!
People - Stop trying to play the sensitive card when in reality you are just self-centered a-holes. You are all woe is me until the shoe is on someone elses foot and then it's all jokes. You are all a-holes. All of you.
CW- You shouldnt even have a job anymore so stop stealing time from the company. Really? Every single excuse in the book you have come up with and frankly, I am effing tired of it. You have like 20 cars and 10 kids and grandkids with nasty baby-daddies. You are trashy and a poor excuse for a human being. Please get out of our office and find someone else to mooch off of because this has gone on for far too long.
Dear Sheri's self: I mean this in the nicest way. . .SHADDUP - you are not disgusting! You are lovely and sweet. Get used to it :P.
I hope you win the lotto, darlin', you deserve it!
BODY: IDK what the hell I did for you to do this to me, but I've been working out 6 days a week for 2 wks and you make me gain weight?!? Really!? I've laid off the vino a little and watched what I ate... NO, it's not muscle-I'm not that stupid...
DH: you scare me. Sports Coats are not trendy no matter what the other GUYS at work say! (If any Novembies have seen nice ones, please let me know cause he's dying to get one)... AND (as sis says) the 80's called-they want their double breasted suit back!
FACE: Ok, I go to a derm-they give me stuff for you and NOW you break out?!? What's the deal?... My face is even more red than ever before!? Thank God Bare Essentials (SP?) has become my new BFF cause you just svck to high hell.
Coworker: Again, suck it up! You have a job. There... be thankful! You don't like what you're paid now-then leave. You tire me out with your B!chting. You're starting to sound girly-stop it.
(thanks, Sheri! I needed this!)
Collision Center: It took you 2 fvcking months to get me my d@mn car back and it wasn't all fixed. I came in on 12/21 -- I am sympathetic with the holidays -- but it's been almost a month! I called you the day before yesterday and was transferred to a vmail. I call yesterday and get the person that clearly did not listen to their vmail....WTF!? So I go back over it all again and no one on the 21st recorded our visit. The one part has been in for weeks but I was never called about it and they still havent found out about the tires. I was supposed to be called back yesterday and have yet to hear anything... You seriosuly suck!! I am driving on "dangerous tires" (your words, not mine), yet you are taking your sweet@ss time getting the payment to get them fixed. Hurry the fvck up already!!
Appraisal lady: I have called you 4 times and left you a vmail, are you ever in your office? Do you return calls ever?? Seriously, my property taxes we based on my house value being $10,000 more than what you appraised me for -- WTF? I am trying to get ahold of you to find out whats going on and you wont reply. You're killing me.
Drunk Driver: I hate you with a passion. You have unneccesarily made my like 1000 times harder. I am sick of dealing with all of this sh!t. And to think, I have to fvck with you for another year and a half at least =/.
Duuuuude Karrey! OMG my EX totally used to pull that SAME crap with me.
I could never just be sick. I would seriously be deathly ill and he would totally pull the "im sick to, take care of meeeee", So I would have to take care of him while being wayyyy to sick to even function. SO LAME
Boss- You cut me to part time, that means that I work PART TIME. I gave a lot this week, I put in waaaay more hours than I should have, and I have been working from home, so I have already put in 40 hrs before Fri. I wasn't supposed to go in yesterday or today because of this, so when I came into take care of one of your screw ups I WAS pissed when you asked to to call the state treasurer to take care of your moms property taxes because you forgot to pay them. Not only is that not a part of my job, it is not my priority. You making jokes about what an a$$hole you are does not make it better, it actually makes it more annoying to know that you realize what you are doing is wrong, but you are still doing it. I'd better see a big f-ing bonus this month.
Self- Remove the stick from your a$$ and stop bItching about every little thing. Your life is not that bad and in the big scheme of things you have NOTHING to complain about. Just decide to get in a good mood and do it!
**See my FF confessions in the thread below**
MTA - I. hate. you. Also, NYC, I hate you a little too. This morning I got to the subway and there were a million people on the platform - not a good sign. I waited 45 minutes before I could even get on a train. In that 45 minutes, only 5 trains showed up. In rush hour, trains shoul arrive every 3 minutes.
NY - YOU ARE SUCH A MOTHER FLIPPING JOKE OF A CITY. Everyone thinks you're so great, but you are so lacking in a number of profound and basic ways it's laughable. People think you're the greatest city on earth? HA. Get a working transit system that doesn't smell like piss and break down all the time and then we can talk. It seems like every other major city can pull it together, why not you. Oh and why don't you go stomp on some more poor people while you're at it. It seems to be your favorite activity.
J - I'm sooOOOoooo sorry that Starbizzle gave you coffee instead of the p*ssy white mocha that you asked for. Take your coffee like a man! Why does this justify you driving like a crazy person, throwing you sunglasses across the dash, and maneuvering with your knee while you try and fail to zip up your jacket. Your wife and child are in the car, dumb @ss.
My family - Don't playa hate...participate! or KMA...
Metrolink 91 line - I can choose a 7:05 AM arrival, an 8:05 AM arrival or a 9:38 AM arrival? Did it ever dawn on you that people have to start shifts at 7, 8 or 9 on the dot? You are stupid.
Apartment Complex - Month to Month rent is $2000 a MONTH?!?!?! REALLY!?!?! Eff ME. Please God let us find a house fast.
Work - I am so glad you're happy with me, but don't sign me up for every new project that comes along just because you want a good person to handle it. Hire more good people. I am swamped.
Interest rates - Scootchie back down to 4.75 please!
Body - work with me, dammit, that's all I'm asking.
CW - could you maybe do, oh I don't know, WORK????? For the life of me I don't know how you've gotten this far without anyone saying anything to you about your serious lack of doing any work, or your really "flexible" work schedule where it's so obvious you're not pulling FT. Well, there's an end coming because you better believe I'm bringing it up with the boss.
Money God - I need money, please put a lot into my accounts. I'd be most thankful.
Friend - stop bitching about how money is tight. You can be a SAHM VERY COMFORTABLY while your H pulls in 3 figures, travel, buy a new home, go to school, spend sh!tloads of money on your kid, and your designer spending habits haven't died yet. So STFU because you've totally lost touch with what it's like for real people who weren't "lucky" enough to marry into your situation.