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I'm depressed-kinda long vent
It could just be the weather, its cold and dark, but I've been super down lately. I have no energy, I'm exhausted all the time. I started working out again and I started eating more fruits and veggies and I'm trying to get enough sleep but nothing seems to be helping. I really think it is my job. I hate it, I really really hate it. I like my boss and my coworkers but I hate some of the upper mgmt people and I'm beginning to hate the kids. I really hate them. I feel like I work for 20 people and none of them respect me. I feel myself getting short with them for little things. I've started looking for new jobs but there are not a lot of openings and I feel like I'm not qualified for what I want to do and over qualified for some things. I don't want to work in education anymore, and my other experience is sales, and I don't want to do that either. I really need direction.
I also have baby fever but we can't start TTCing because my health insurance (which sucks but thats an other thing) is through work and I don't want to get pregnant before I find a new job and there is a rumor that we may have our funding cut and then I won't have a job after June anyway. I don't want to have to find a new job while pregnant. I have a couple friends who think I should just not care and get pregnant anyway but that just seems really irresponsible.
And I wish I would have finished my thesis while I was still taking my grad classes, because now I am going back and its really hard getting back in to grad school mode. But that is my own fault but I wish I could go back and change it.
grrrrr arghhh
thanks for reading, i just needed to get it out.
Re: I'm depressed-kinda long vent
I think I probably know better than most how easily you can burn out from teaching- esp. in your situation, which seems (from what you have said) to be dealing with some really challenging students. I have felt this way too, and I always question whether it is the job or just a bad day/week/month/year. I wish I could say I had some miracle solution or answer for you, but I don't. Just know that you are making a difference in the lives of some children who probably don't have a lot of support from home.
As far as changing jobs, I have always had the feeling that I will not retire from teaching- have you felt the same way? I just don't see myself spending 33 years doing this. That said, I am 10 years in now, and likely too expensive a commodity to find another position. This is why I am encouraging my husband's interest in ed.admin- he is in his third year, so he still stands a chance of being hired, while I probably don't.
I think you should try one of those personality tests that tell you what you are supposed to do with your life- I know it sounds hokey but it may really open your eyes to something you haven't considered. (PS mine said I should be a school administrator or college prof.- haha)
Good luck- I hope you have a better day tomorrow.
I think that talking to other teachers Like Kaytie is a good idea. That is a whole different world. I can't imagine how frustrating it is to feel like you work for so many people. All I can say is do some serious soul searching adn if necessary, make a leap of faith. I changed careers and it definitely worked for me. It's tough. We all go through that quarterlife crisis and wonder what we are really supposed to be doing with our lives. Listen to your innervoice. :-) Good Luck!
In the meantime, take a B vitamin. That may help with the blahs.
That's exactly what I was going to say! B12 to be specific. It give you energy and uplifts your mood a little.
Sorry you feel this way. I am working and in school too. BUT I will add that I have a number of friends that did find jobs when they were pregnant (and clearly showing). I agree that a leap of faith may be in order. What are you in school for?
~~~MARRIED BIO~~~
I don't have a whole lot of advice, but I want to send some
slayerkate
your way!
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I'm studying Tech Communications, specifically Computer Mediated Comm. I'm looking at research jobs when I'm done with it, but I would like to find something sooner.