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Question for the pregnant Novembies
My BFF is pregnant. She sent me an email basically berating me because I "don't seem excited" about her baby. She said no one wants to hear about baby stuff anymore, and she feels like she deserves this baby because she's been trying the longest. Oh, and she said "I supported you, even when you wanted to have another baby with T, even though between the two of you, you have 6 kids, and this is only my first."
So I need to ask those of you who are pregnant - is this just the hormones talking? She went off about how no one would help her register, but when I offered to come up, she said that she was going to register with her DH tomorrow. I told her she could call me whenever she wanted to and talk about the baby or whatever, I can't be all excited and supportive if I don't know something's going on. She's all upset that's she's given up caffeine, cigarettes, etc, but um, *I* didn't get her pregnant, so how is this my fault?
FWIW, I offered to help with her shower, I'm not sure what else I'm supposed to be doing for her?
Re: Question for the pregnant Novembies
Ok, I'm not preg, but I have a really good friend who is trying to (at 39 yrs old) for her first. I am sure the same thing will happen with her-although I'll be excited, it might be different since her friends have all gone through the 'having a baby' stage? I'm not sure...
Maybe just go out to lunch, get manicures/pedis sometime and talk with her about it. Maybe, because she's getting this from everyone, it's just been hard on her?
HTH-!! (Butting out now... 4 hrs left at work... zzz)
I would say that's hormones, maybe she has all this resentment toward everyone for not "caring enough" about this, and she's taking it out on you. Why you? No idea!
I think all you can do is offer, and if she doesn't have time/doesn't want to do things with you (like register), then it's not really your problem.
I would send her a note (not a phone call) telling her how excited you are for her and that she can call you to talk if she needs to. Maybe the little gesture of taking the time to write and mail something will make her realize you're not the bad guy here. Just a thought.
GL! Those hormones sure can get the best of us pregnant ladies! LOL!
I think it's her, not you. Maybe ask her for examples of what she's talking about and remind her about all the offers you made? Ask her what she wants from you to be more supportive. I hate blaming things on "hormones", but in this case it may be true.
(Also, if her husband is a lazy SOB, he's probably not super interested either, which probabably REALLY makes her feel like no one cares about her.)
She sounds really lonely. I'd just make her feel like she's overreacting by sending her a very calm, unemotional email asking her for examples and restating the commitment to your friendship and your happiness for her.
This. And probably some hormones. Being freshly removed from pregnancy I can, in retrospect, see how all consuming hormonal mood swings were. But if you had told me that while I was pregnant, I would have stabbed, marninaded, and had you for dinner - so don't say the word "hormones" to her. Just make sure she knows you're there for her to vent to.
I would have to agree it's the hormones and loneliness!
Taking the time out (like sending a letter) would be sooo nice of you and would really make her feel important...if that doesn't work, then she may have just gone off the deep end and you have to be patient and just wait for the week or so to pass!
Good Luck!!
Bwahahahah...never cross a pregnant lady!
This!