June 2009 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
In honor of the newest J9 baby
A bump post for your entertainment
http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/1/29627855/ShowThread.aspx
Re: In honor of the newest J9 baby
Post like this from thebump makes me want to bash my face against a brick wall.
I think a grandma shower has to do with situation. For me, my inlaws and family live 3 hours away. My MIL prob will never need tons of stuff laying around her house for my kids that would come from a full out shower. But, my SIL lives 10 minutes from her, so having duplicate stuff, like a PnP and a highchair would make sense for her.
I wouldn't be against her friends giving her some of those duplicate things, and certainly not if she was babysitting my kids frequently.
I'm bored at work so I actually read that thread.
Key piece of information omitted from the OP: Said grandmother will be watching the kid several days a week.
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Absolutely - if grandma is the primary care provider (as is the case with this girl), then it would be great for her to have those things. My parents live 500 miles away and this will be their 3rd grandchild so there really is no need.
MIL's friends haven't thrown her a shower but they have been buying her things like picture frames with grandchild/grandparent quotes. We didn't make it more than 2 steps in the door and she was showing them off to us. It's her first grandchild and she's excited. It would be unbelievably selfish of me to try to take that excitment from her. If her friends want to take her to dinner to celebrate and share grandchild stories - then I wish them a good time.
While I get the idea of it in some instances (like if she is going to watch the child regularly, etc), I think its weird.
It seems really gift-grabby to me. Going through that thread, the only one I could really understand was the example of the grandmother who worked at a school and her daughter/DIL was having triplets, etc. The rest just seems odd. If grandma is going to watch the child and you want to have stuff at both places, why not just have a traditional shower but register for 2 PnPs, etc. BTW, I have no idea what a PnP even is... I'm just copying it so hopefully that's a decent example.
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Is that today's equivalent of a play pen?
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I thought the mother-to-be was biitching because she hadn't had a shower yet (and didn't know if one was being planned), but the MIL's was all planned?
I don't know. Not having one yet doesn't mean you're not having one. It sounds like this grandmother is not shy about demanding what she wants, so I'm not so surprised that, if this is what she wants, she's having it. If OP wants a shower and wants it now, she can wrangle her family and friends just like grandma did.
I just don't see the sense it getting all worked up over this. Get worked up over your own not having a shower, if you're not having one.
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She was upset because she didn't know if there was one planned and that MIL's was planned before hers.
I agree that it doesn't mean she won't have one at all though. She is due in April so there could very well be a surprise something or other planned for Feb. or Mar.
I don't agree that it is fair to hold it against MIL though because her friends wanted to do something to celebrate. And OP didn't even know what was going to happen at the Grandmother shower. To be honest, I've never heard of this but what I'm imagining is not Grandma-to-be getting diapers and onsies. I imagine giving her bottles of wine, trinkets with grandmotherly quotes, and possibly some gag gifts about being an old lady. Definitely not something worth a hissy fit. MIL retired early to take care of the baby so they would not have to pay for day care and all OP seems to worry about is not getting her share of the gifts. I'd like to see how that day care arrangement works out if this is how mom-to-be acts before the child arrives.
Yes. I believe the words "this is my time to be showered and pampered" (emphasis mine) were "uttered" along with a metaphorical foot stamp, and that is where I lost all sympathy for her.
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Agreed. I can't believe that thing went on for 3 pages. But really, is it that big of a deal to not have a shower? We don't have much in our apartment, and I registered for stuff just because I felt like I had to, but no one threw me a shower and I didn't care. Why the gift grabbiness?? If you're bringing a child into the world, shouldn't you be prepared to take care of him/her, and not be expecting to get gifts to help you...?