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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
BR question
The more I read of all the baby related posts, the more I wonder to myself: why get pregnant? Seriously, the experience sounds horrible. Feeling like I've been kicked in the crotch? The swellings, the pain, the nausea (extreme in some cases)? Surely I'm not getting the whole picture here - 'cause this sounds soooo awful.
So tell me, there's gotta be something good about being pregnant, right?
Re: BR question
I am not pregnant nor I am a mommy but from what I've heard, the end product = baby is all worth the pain and everyting that you go through :-).
I think I'm really lucky to have had a very healthy, uneventful pregnancy. But you are right, it's a BIG change to your body so no matter what things are "different." I'm heavy, slow, short of breath, and unable to do things I really enjoy (had to skip my family's big skiing and snowmobiling trip!!)
I did get morning sickness and threw up just about every day for 2 months. That was bad at the time, but I barely remember it now. I guess it just became part of my daily routine - and again, it could have been much worse because I think I still had a pretty mild case. I was still able to fully function and no one at work even knew I was pregnant that entire time. I spend a lot of time doing preventative care too. Acupuncture, chiro/physical therapy, supplements, etc. I have to think that has all helped me adjust and keep healthy and maintain a positive outlook.
Now... why?? Because I really want a baby. I am absolutely sure this is all worth it and I feel blessed to be given this opportunity.
I'll be honest: yes, it's bad. It's worse for some women than others, but even people with easy pregnancies still struggle sometimes.
For me, it's actually been worse than I expected, probably because there are two of them. I could handle the 24/7 nausea, the fatigue, the runs (not all women get constipated - there are a small fraction of us who actually have the opposite problem!) and the peeing 37 times a day, but now I've gotten physically large enough that things are really starting to hurt. These babies are SO heavy now and growing SO fast...I think I'm literally getting new stretchmarks every day, sleeping is becoming difficult, and just walking around is an effort sometimes - I move sooooooo slowly and get out of breath ridiculously easily. It's physically taxing in a way I never expected.
That said...I'd do this again in a heartbeat. It's hard to explain. For a long time, I felt the same way as you - why on earth would anyone voluntarily do this? I'm not a baby or child lover...in fact, I dislike them a fair amount, even now. Nasty, sticky little brutes. But I already love these babies more than I can even express, and that makes it worth it. Every single day I tell them, "This is getting hard for me. But it's OK, you do what you need to do and keep growing - I'll handle it. We can do this." I don't know what to blame this kind of attachment on except biology lol, but the reward is worth it, even now.
You are just hearing the bad things that some people have happen to them. I was really freaked out too, esp after reading this post last year http://tinyurl.com/5j8nd7. For me, pregnancy has been pretty easy (although I'm not done yet!). I poop just fine, don't have gas issues, No cravings... Everyone is different.
It is AMAZING to feel this little guy inside of me move around. My favorite thing to do is lay in bed and feel him. He already makes me laugh w/ his hick-ups every day and how he knows when I'm about to eat becasue he starts bouncing off the walls. I love how my husband is so protective of me while I'm pg and he's even sweeter than usual, which I didn't think was possible. I never have to suck in my belly now if I've had a big meal and you know what? Even though I have a pretty big bump and still two months to go, I LOVE how my body looks since I've been pregnant. I've fought with my face breaking out since I was 13. Since I've been pregnant I've only gotten 2 little pimples and my face & back are smooth & clear!
This is exactly what I'm thinking. Add to this no sleep, temper tantrums, the horror stories I hear from DH about his 13 year old students, and what I see around me is enough to make me not want any, ever. BUT! When I spend time with my friends who have kids and just see how much they love each other, it's pretty heart-warming.
I still have pretty mixed feeling about having kids, though. I'm waiting for something to "change" inside of me so that I'll want them but it hasn't really happened yet.
All I can say is that I've become more sympathetic to babies and screaming kids. Before I'd just tell them to shut up (in my head of course) but now I can see they're crying because they're tired/hungry/antsy, etc.
I'm only 13 weeks and already this has been the weirdest/coolest thing I've ever done! It's so strange, yet awesome to see the baby on the ultrasound waving at me, even though it is so tiny that I can't feel it yet! And just the simple (yet not simple at all!) concept that this is growing INSIDE me! We MADE it! I can't wrap my head around it sometimes, but it's very cool.
That said, it is early, and I think I've been pretty lucky so far. I've been a little sick, but not too bad. So far the worst part for me is the backaches, which I know will get far worse as we go. But, like PP said, I focus on the end result, and I know that it'll all be worth it in the end.
This is so sweet it made me tear up a little.
There's nothing more amazing than creating a life within your own body and knowing it is half you and half the man of your dreams. Seriously. The most amazing feeling in the world and worth all of the "stuff."
I feel lucky...the majority of my pregnancy has been easy and better than I expected. In fact, the way I have felt these past 3-4 weeks is what I thought the entire pregnancy was going to be like...so in that way, I am very pleasantly surprised.
I have a whole new appreciation for my body and what it's capable of doing...I have a whole new respect for my own mother and the other women in my life who are mothers and I have a love that is deeper than I've ever known for my husband. Not to mention that I am so in love with someone I've never even met...my baby. And this is coming from a person who NEVER thought she'd ever want to be pregnant or become a mother. In fact it was just a year ago that the thought even seriously crossed my mind! And what a year! It's been very transformative...spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally. During this process I have grown as a person and become a better version of myself...I am sure parenthood will continue this trajectory.
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
OP - at least you found out BEFORE getting pregnant!
I will agree with the others that it is absolutely worth it to have a child.
I will also add that not everyone's pregnancy is the same. You never know what will happen. I think you go into it when you know you are ready for whatever will come - you may have a perfect pregnancy and at-home birth with no meds. You may have a terrible pregnancy or a child with special needs. Before you decide to aim for a child, know that you are strong enough to make the journey and brave enough to accept any outcome.
Newlyweds since 2007
This, exactly. In the end, seeing this little person who is half you and half your husband is amazing, I'm sure.
It's really not that bad for everyone. I have had probably the easiest pregnancy anyone could hope for. Never threw up, though I had mild nausea and food aversions in the first tri. I've had no complications and at almost 37 weeks I still haven't even had much swelling in my feet. I am getting uncomfortable and it's hard to bend over to put my pants and shoes on, but I take comfort in knowing it'll all be over soon.
It is so awesome when you first see them on ultrasound, looking like a baby and not a blob. When they're moving around and all. And then when you feel them moving inside you and when your hubby can feel them move.
I'm pretty sure that even women who have had horrible pregnancies would go through it all again for their kids because the love you have for your child is that strong.
Malia & Dave & Alexa
Happily married since 2-17-08! Three since 9-9-09!
Baby Blog
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
And an even longer tunnel if you are the parent of a 16 and 14 year old......
I keep telling myself that one day they WILL be adults, they WILL be mature, and they WILL be pleasant to be around!! LOL
BTW, your original post totally cracked me up!
I guess I'll be the other side of the story! I had an incredibly easy pregnancy and I don't mean to say that to gloat or brag or anything. I just didn't experience morning sickness or much discomfort... I just felt like a fat whale. My ribs never hurt, never experienced lightning crotch, never complained of swelling or anything of that sort. I have to admit that I complained about feeling fat and clothes not fitting, etc, etc... but don't women do that even when they're NOT pregnant?
Moreover, the weight FELL off, most likely due to breastfeeding. I'm sure I'll pack it on when I wean, but for me, pregnancy was very easy and not completely unpleasant. I didn't enjoy it, but it wasn't terrible either.
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I understand exactly. I saw my BFF about 12 hours after she gave birth when we were 23. She had no insurance and had a home birth with the midwife. Broke every blood vessel in her face,includng those in her eyes. Made me never want to have kids! But now we're 35/36 and I called her when I was pg and scared about giving birth. She told me it was b/c her midwife never taught her how to breathe properly. No one toldme about all the other bad things until I actually WAS pg... so good to know before you get into it! However, each pg varies so much, you never know what you'll get or not. I had it pretty easy too - only got the gas, pregnancy mask, and heartburn for a couple of days near the end. But it's good to know ahead of time what might happen!
ETA: the coolest feeling is the movement inside - and realizing, that even thought you know how the whole baby growing thing works, when you know it's inside you and YOU are housing the baby, it's a whole new world of discovery! And the baby at the end is totally worth it, I can say that now!
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
I guess I would be in the "easy pregnancy" camp. We got pregnant our first try, my only pregnancy symptom was hunger (I gained a lot of weight because of it) and I pushed my 9lb, 9oz child out in 6 contractions (about 20 minutes of pushing). We are also grateful to have a pretty mellow, easy kid.
Everyone's experience is different but I'm sure there are millions of women that have the same experience as mine, you just don't hear about them as much as the ones with symptoms.
Honestly, being pregnant (aside from the first trimester) was one of the greatest experiences of my life and I will always treasure it. I felt wonderful. I have colitis and normally don't feel that great. When I was pregnant, my colon was perfect...I could eat whatever I wanted (including dairy and I am normally lactose intolerant) with no issues. I just felt amazing...strong, happy, healthy. I mean, I had Marino at 32 weeks, so maybe I just missed the miserable part, but I really loved being pregnant and really felt sad I missed out on the last 2 months of it.
Everyone is different and has different tolerances for things. One bad thing about pregnancy is that most women feel tired, so I think that kind of makes all the other discomforts harder to deal with. I didn't experience the tired thing after the 1st trimester, so maybe that's why I loved it! The dairy eating helped, too
You are funny! I have the same thoughts as you at this point in my life. However, I was always the one who wanted kids...4-5 kids to be honest. I also thought I would have kids by the time I was in my early 20's. Then I just got frustrated and jealous that everyone around me was having kids and not me...I was mad I couldn't even get an "oopsie daisies". Now at age 29, I'm horrified at the thought of incubating a child inside my body for 9 months. Everything about it scares me physically and mentally. I freak myself out in thinking the worse will happen to me while being pregnant or giving birth.
So for now, I've completly changed my mind about having kids. I'm approaching 30 in April and I know that now I really need to consider all my options just in case I'm not able to have kids once I get over my crazy fear. For now I will just have fun being a step-mom to my 14 year old step-daughter and see what happens...
| Olowalu, Maui ~ August 6, 2008 |
| Family of 4 ~ April 2, 2011 |
| Family of 5 - October 24, 2012 |
you know, I think there is something to be said about feeling your baby grow inside you and feeling him/her kick. it was my absolute most favorite part of being PG and is priceless, IMO. my PG wasn't too bad... i had pretty severe fatigue in the 1st trimester but i only had mild nausea between weeks 8-12...the worst part of PG was towards the end when i was starting to get so big since i have such a small frame and was carrying around so much extra weight. i will admit that there were times that i felt miserably large and uncomfortable (difficulty sleeping, walking, reflux, etc) but it was mostly just the last month or so. everyone is different and some have it easy, some have it hard, and some fall somewhere in between.
that said, having had one biological child, i would have no problems whatsoever adopting our 2nd child. i wouldn't feel like i was "missing out" on anything having not given birth to that child. i know MH would prefer another biological child, but we'll see...
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
Horror stories and bad memories sometimes have a funny way of pushing themselves to the front of the line when you think about things. Like you with your teaching experience, the most 'memorable' experiences I've had with kids involve some horrible moments I never want to see again.
I had some morning sickness in the first trimester but since that's gone away, things have been relatively easy and dare I even say, FUN, so far. I worried a lot in the first trimester because things just didn't feel 'real' without a visible bump or noticeable baby movements. But now every single day, I love those moments when I can feel those swirls, kicks, taps, and lurches in my stomach. It's also amazing to be able to share those moments with John. He presses his face to my stomach (at the risk of getting kicked in the eye by the little one, lol) to say goodnight and good morning to the baby. It's pretty cute to watch John do that.
We're about 3 months away from our due date and I already know that I'll miss these kinds of moments. I'm just trying to enjoy them while they last.
Oh, and my skin has been behaving much better since becoming pregnant. No fancy creams or lotions, just face wash and simple moisturizer. That's a nice little bonus, right?
Okay, some good...
1) Long, strong nails and hair
2) Glowing Skin
3) Craving healthy foods and loving them
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
I LOVED being pregnant...even at the end when I could not find a comfortable position while sitting, when my back hurt, when I didn't sleep, etc. A human being was growing in side of me and that was all that I could think about. Yeah I complained some, but there are so many women in this world who can't have children that would almost die to be in my position......and it's only 10 months if you really think about it
I found pregnancy to be awesome and can't wait to be blessed once again.
I've been thinking about this more all day long...and I know that I haven't had an easy pregnancy, but there ARE good points. I love seeing them on the ultrasounds - I love feeling them shift and move. I'm amazed and fascinated that they have such different personalities, even though they're not even born yet! Twin A is very laid back and just goes with the flow - Twin B is very demanding and knows what he wants, even to the point where if I lay on my right side (where he is), he'll kick me until I roll back over onto my other side because he doesn't like being squashed! It's absolutely incredible to realize that these are two little people that I get to look after!
Plus there's this:
This really is a phenomenal part of it. Sometimes I look at Ben and I'm just in awe...we're making little people! Little versions of ourselves, that are us but are so much more than us. I look at Ben and I'm humbled and amazed to think that this man that I love so much will be part of these children. I look at him and wonder if they'll have his eyes, his mouth, his way of laughing. It's incredible to think that I'm carrying and protecting and growing these little individuals that are somehow more than the sum of Lisa + Ben. I know that's not really a physical plus (the nice skin I've had since the start of the second tri is though lol!), but I think that mental/emotional bonuses are worth mentioning too.
I always think about the baby and how much we want him/her in our world. It really does keep things in perspective, and when you think about how great a miracle that is, it only makes sense that your body goes through a lot to accomplish it.
Since pregnancy was NOT easy for us in the beginning, I am mostly grateful just being pregnant every day, even though I get aches and pains and worry about my figure and sometimes feel sad about the end to the just-us era of our lives. I definitely don't feel like I'm in love with being pregnant -- it's a mixed bag of emotions and the physical changes are weird and sometimes difficult -- but having worried before about even being able to reproduce helps me to stay positive and focused on the end result.
And now that we're close to having this baby, it is definitely fun nesting and preparing for his/her arrival with my hubby!
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
Ha! It's so funny to read all these posts and realize that maybe, I really am a freak
I was not a happy pg person, I really did not like it at all, I felt horrible, couldn't sleep and don't even get me started on the digestive issues! I keep saying, I can'r beleive I did this voluntarily! Then as the pg progressed, I thought, I can't beleive people do this TWICE or THREE times or MORE!
Then, little Ella arrived, and I spent many of those first few days laying on the couch, with her head on my shoulder and her belly on my neck just smelling her (weird, yeah, I know). And I thought, god, I could do this a million times over. The joy and love that little person has brought into my life is worth the short window of my pg. I've honestly never been happier. And watching my H be a dad I swear bring tears to my eyes.
With all that said, there is absolutly nothing wrong with just not wanting children or being ambivilant about it. It's more important to be honest w/ yourself about how you feel, and not get sucked into the whole having kids because everyone else is or thinking that's what you're "supposed" to do. It's a sacrifice, it's hard. And as cliche as it sounds, worth every second.
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)