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I AWed too soon :(

I'm so incredibly heartbroken right now. We probably aren't keeping Millie.

DH hasn't had a dog for longer than a month in his life. I've had a dog for 10 years at my parents. DH didn't realize how much work a puppy involves, so I stepped up and did the dirty work (like cleaning her accidents, feeding her, playing with her, waking up in the middle of the night with her).

Now, he put me in this terrible position. He no longer wants her at all. So, it's either I'm happy and he's miserable or he's happy and hopefully one day I'll get over it. So, we're going to email her foster parents and see if they want her back first. If not, we're calling Yelp.

I can't stop randomly crying and I'm at work. I'm bringing Millie to the vet for her booster shots today, and I just can't help but feel terrible. I really fell hard for this puppy. :( Ugh..I can't even think straight. :(

I just hope the foster parents take her back. I just want her to have a great home...

Edit: I hate to make DH sound like the bad guy. He's hurt about this too. He loves that dog but he just had no idea what a puppy would entail (the time, work, etc.)

Re: I AWed too soon :(

  • That is awful.  If I were you, I'd tell DH that's just too damn bad.  Did you tell him it's only really tough in the beginning?  Soon enough she'll be house-trained, sleeping through the night, and chillin next to y'all on the couch!  I hate this for you ---- it just doesn't seem fair.

    PS - Can you tell I'm a dog person?  LOL

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  • Can you explain to him that it gets easier? You can do the work now while she's young and wild. Get her fixed and I bet she'll be calm and low maintenance by next year. I'm sorry you are finding yourself in this position. I can imagine how hard it must be to bond with the pup and then have to give her up. :(
  • Trust me, I tried. :( I really did. I told him that it would take a few weeks to get her adjusted and trained, but he thinks she's taking time away from spending with each other.

    I'm a huge dog person too... I'm trying not to cry at work. :(

  • imagecakpeterson:

    That is awful.  If I were you, I'd tell DH that's just too damn bad.  Did you tell him it's only really tough in the beginning?  Soon enough she'll be house-trained, sleeping through the night, and chillin next to y'all on the couch!  I hate this for you ---- it just doesn't seem fair.

    PS - Can you tell I'm a dog person?  LOL

    ditto.. We got a 6 week lab a little over two years ago, and although it was hard for the first couple months, it was so worth it..

  • I'm sorry dear, that really sucks! I really hope your H changes his mind. Like the other girls said - it really does get so much easier after the first few months. Maybe try to strike a deal with him? Give it one month and if he's not on board by then find her a new home. That might just be long enough to get him attached to her!

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  • imageMrsSpell:

    I'm sorry dear, that really sucks! I really hope your H changes his mind. Like the other girls said - it really does get so much easier after the first few months. Maybe try to strike a deal with him? Give it one month and if he's not on board by then find her a new home. That might just be long enough to get him attached to her!

    That's what I asked of him. I'm just so afraid he won't get attached and I'll be even MORE attached. :(

    DH did tell me that he really felt bad on the way to work this morning. He really does love Millie...it's just impossible for him, it seems.

    I really do hope his mind changes, because I love her so much and was literally bawling with her in my arms for an hour last night. I love how Millie just knew I was feeling bad..instead of biting me like she usually does, she just licked and gave me puppy eyes the whole time.

  • aww hon, it's always hard with a new puppy at first, but it gets to much better!  I really hope he changes his mind, I hate this for you!
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  • From what you're saying, you're totally attached already.  I'd tell my DH to get over it. 
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  • imagecakpeterson:
    From what you're saying, you're totally attached already.  I'd tell my DH to get over it. 

    This is what I would do too. If you are doing the work he needs to give a little. You both agreed to take on the puppy, he made a commitment and he is giving up way to soon in my opinion. I don't feel like he's embraced the fact that when he said "yes" and ya'll signed the paperwork he agreed to a lifetime.

    FWIW my parents have done this before and it chaps my @$$. I didn't mean to sound, harsh honestly, but this hits close to home as the mom of 4 rescues.

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  • imagemzovoce:

    imagecakpeterson:
    From what you're saying, you're totally attached already.  I'd tell my DH to get over it. 

    This is what I would do too. If you are doing the work he needs to give a little. You both agreed to take on the puppy, he made a commitment and he is giving up way to soon in my opinion. I don't feel like he's embraced the fact that when he said "yes" and ya'll signed the paperwork he agreed to a lifetime.

    FWIW my parents have done this before and it chaps my @$$. I didn't mean to sound, harsh honestly, but this hits close to home as the mom of 4 rescues.

    This! This is my exact argument to him, but he just keeps saying that it's ok. She'll have a good family..probably better than us. It hurts me so bad that he thinks this. He keeps saying he wants his wife back b/c this puppy has taken me away from him. I just wish he saw y'alls side.

    I'd love to show him this post, but he hates when I tell ANYONE about our relationship struggles. :(

  • imagejoeysgirl2008:
    imagemzovoce:

    imagecakpeterson:
    From what you're saying, you're totally attached already.  I'd tell my DH to get over it. 

    This is what I would do too. If you are doing the work he needs to give a little. You both agreed to take on the puppy, he made a commitment and he is giving up way to soon in my opinion. I don't feel like he's embraced the fact that when he said "yes" and ya'll signed the paperwork he agreed to a lifetime.

    FWIW my parents have done this before and it chaps my @$$. I didn't mean to sound, harsh honestly, but this hits close to home as the mom of 4 rescues.

    This! This is my exact argument to him, but he just keeps saying that it's ok. She'll have a good family..probably better than us. It hurts me so bad that he thinks this. He keeps saying he wants his wife back b/c this puppy has taken me away from him. I just wish he saw y'alls side.

    I'd love to show him this post, but he hates when I tell ANYONE about our relationship struggles. :(

    Ya'll haven't been married very long and he sees a change and it's probably a little freaky. I know it's 50% his house too, but CAN you put your foot down on this matter or will it cause too much strife? If it does show him pictures of puppies in overcrowded shelters, and the article about the parish who last year euthanized all their pets. Most of these are owner surrenders.

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  • I understand the whole change thing in the marriage, but I also feel that he's being selfish.  As you said, it's you being happy and him being "miserable" or him getting what he wants and you having to suck it up.  How is he going to feel if you decide to have children?  Then you'll really be distracted by children.  It doesn't seem like he's doing much, since you're the one taking care of the dog.  Not sure how him not knowing how much work a puppy is affects him minus he doesn't get all your attention. I know I'm new to this board and I'm not trying to offend anyone, but that's my two cents.

     Can you tell how I feel about dogs :)

  • I can't give you any other advice that others haven't already, but I hope you get to keep the dog. I have 2 dogs and 2 babies! We got the 2nd dog when Cole was just 6 months old, but we (I) survived. It's hard, but give it a few months and the dog will calm down and learn what to do and not to do. I had to tell my husband that babies are like dogs in so many ways when we were discussing starting a family ... maybe try that logic, only reverse it, and tell him he wouldn't get rid of your baby :)
  • I agree with all of the other ladies. You may need to stand your ground on this one. It's not like you bought curtains and kept the receipt in case they didn't look right. You brought home a living creature. It may be 'just' a dog, but it still counts.

    I really hope you can get him to come around and see your point of view. Marriage is all about compromise, and this time it's his turn. You'll owe him one down the road.

  • imageCissy_Strut:

    I agree with all of the other ladies. You may need to stand your ground on this one. It's not like you bought curtains and kept the receipt in case they didn't look right. You brought home a living creature. It may be 'just' a dog, but it still counts.

    I really hope you can get him to come around and see your point of view. Marriage is all about compromise, and this time it's his turn. You'll owe him one down the road.

    BJ's and steak, is my understanding of what evens everything out.

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  • Lmao!! Truer words have never been spoken. Maybe you should lead with that joeysgirl. Good luck :)
  • I dont want to repeat everything everyone else said other than one of my arguements to your DH would be "So when we have kids and the first few weeks, months, are hard and I am busy with kids are you going to want to "return" our child too??"  He needs to understand you just cant "return" everything when things get a little tuff!! You have to work things out! That is what a marriage is about working through the tough times!!

     

  • Oh hun I'm so sorry. My heart is broken for you. Maybe YH is just stressed right now and needs some time to adjust. Give it some time, don't make any decisions right away, and remind him it's a life your dealing with here, not a human life but the life of that sweet little puppy.

    PS: I also just sent you an email. 

     

  • Ditto PPs! What's he going to do with the next tough spot? What's he going to do with children? He wants you to suck it up, but he can suck it up too. Getting rid of the dog would set a bad precedent. Take it from someone who learned the hard way - do not always give into him when he gets a little uncomfortable with a situation.

    OR bad husband treatment. I can bring the ice cream.

    ::two chest pumps and a peace sign for Jenn:: ~ MrsJudgeyPants

    This is legal advice. Circa 2011
  • ok, now for the man's perspective...

    seriously? tell him to grow a pair, stop being a ninny, clean some poop and see the light. this pup makes you happy and will eventually bring you two closer together, not keep you apart. sure, you care for each other and do for each other, but both of you caring for another living thing (intro to children) will make both of you happy and closer. jeeze.

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