April 2008 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Affairs
If you had a friend or family member you knew was having an affair would you confront them or ignore it?
I have someone close to me I know is cheating on their spouse. Its tearing me up. I barely slept last night. I want to confront them....this isn't the first time they have had an affair.
What would you do? This isn't just some random person you talk to occasionally. You talk to this person almost daily and you're very close.
Re: Affairs
this happened with my best friend. she was going through a really difficult time in her marriage and ended up having an emotional affair (with some physical aspects too).
She told me and I didn't want to close the lines of communications, so i wasn't sure how to handle it. I love her husband and I just kept telling her that she needed to give her all to her marriage before walking away or continuing what she was doing. but i would listen to her and play devils advocate to all the points she made about how she was rationalizing what she was doing.
I told her over and over how great her husband was and how much he loved her in spite of her pushing him away like she was. we've all been friends through college, so it was easy to bring up old times and reminisce and remind her of what she had. luckily, she began to realize it herself and now their marriage is stronger than ever.
it was really hard though. i don't envy your position. it sucks. not sure what i would have done if i suspected, but she didn't tell me.
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Thats a tough situation. I don't know if I would want to get in the middle of it.
I would hate to find out and have my friend find out I knew and didn't say anything to him/her, but at the same time I don't think I could be the one to possibly break my friends heart by outting their spouse for an affair. Because honestly you don't know if this will destroy their marriage and while YOU didn't do anything wrong and it was the spouse that really destroyed the marriage with the affair I would feel horrible if my letting the cat out of the bag and that lead to the end of the marriage...ya know?
Its a really sticky situation because I think it can be a lose-lose situation.
~~~MARRIED BIO~~~
In my opinion (based on experience), turn a blind eye and deaf ear.
Found out some other way. I dont want to go into too many details at this point but I have very good proof.
~~~MARRIED BIO~~~
Hmmmm, this hits too close to home for me. This happened to my girlfriend, and she's forgiving her boyfriend for his actions. However, I confronted my father, and I'm the only one that gave him a piece of mind for what he did to my mother, and what his actions meant to his daughters. I don't keep things bottled up or refuse to ignore the truth. I was direct about it and talked to my father about it but I will not excuse his childish excuses nor forgive him for his stupidity. For me, affairs are an open and closed case. I can't not see the good from an affair nor will I forget.
You can say I'm angry at my father, but I'm also angry for his side of the family for helping the mistress as well. There's so much to this and more, we'll have to talk about this next week.
Close to them both: I'd confront the cheater and let them know that they need to tell their spouse, or you will. idk...I feel like cheating brings a health risk...and I'd feel really guilty if something were to happen to the one being left in the dark. We had family friends...and the wife found out she was getting cheated on when he gave her gonorrhea.
If it were me, I'd want to know, and have the right to decide what I want to do with that knowledge, and my marriage.
Close to the cheater, and not the spouse: it might be a case of letting them know that you know, and that you won't lie for them (but maybe not going out of your way to tell the spouse).
you absolutely SHOULD confront the cheater.. tell them that you know what is going on and if they don't tell their spouse, you will. as someone who has been cheated on, this is vital. when zach told his friend, he gave him til the end of that day to tell me or he would. that is a good friend.
ETA: i guess i should say, i would absolutely confront the cheater, not tell you what to do. sorry. i'm really passionate about this one.