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Need your opinion
So we have asked my SIL if she would stay with us to help out after the baby arrives. The post-birth plan is basically my mom will come and stay with us for a couple days, then DH's mom will come and stay for a couple days to a week or so. I'm planning to take 8 weeks maternity leave so that leaves about 6 weeks or so that it would be just me at home with the baby. We don't have any family in the city, and I really feel that we will need someone else to stay with us (pretty much all the time) to help out. DH will be going back to work after a couple days or week off - he doesn't qualify for paternity leave.
SIL situation: she graduated college last may - has not found a job and is currently living back at home with ILs and getting ready to apply for grad school (she'd start in the fall). She has a part-time job, some friends still in hometown and no BF. She has lots of friends already in nyc and plans to attend grad school in nyc.
We are trying to put together a "proposal" that would outline what we want her to help out with. It would include walking the dog, doing neighborhood errands, light house work, watching the baby while I shower/nap, helping to prepare meals or watching baby while I cook. We'd provide her with: daybed to sleep on (in our guest room/office), place to store clothing, at least 1-2 days per week that she could have as personal days, food/meals provided or food stipend if she wanted to make her own meals.
And...what we can't decide on: should we offer her an additional weekly stipend and how much should that be? granted we definitely have a budget and I won't be working or receiving maternity benefits (I'm freelance). Would you feel the need to offer more than covering living/food expenses for close family? If so, how much??
TIA!!
Re: Need your opinion
Liza:
Good that you can get family to help out. My question is how long do you want her to stay with you all? Just for the 8 weeks or also after you go back to work?
Our New Home! Renovation Underway! The Law Nest
TTC Journey
7/2008 - begin TTC
7/2009 - began charting
9/2009 - Dx Endometriosis
10/2009 - HSG/SA (Normal)
12/2009 -6/2010 - Lupron #1 & 2
Sep-Nov 2010- Clomid Cycles #1&2 = BFN
Dec 2010 - Clomid Cycle #3 = BFP (1/11/11);no h/b (2/10/11); D&C (2/23/11)
5/11-6/11 - herbal tea regime = BFN
7/24/2011- herbal tea regime = surprise BFP
It would probably be only 6 weeks in total. I plan to go back to work part-time and we would find a nanny/babysitter to watch the baby while I'm at work. And I figure at 2 months old, I should be ok enough to handle baby and home stuff on my own.
honestly, yes, I think you should give her a weekly stipend in addition to the living/food. If she had volunteered to come up and do these things for you then it would be a different story. But if you're going to give her a list of things that she's expected to do, then I think she should get paid for it.
honestly, if any of my siblings said "come help me. I expect you to clean up my house, walk the dog, etc", I'd tell them to go scratch.
(sorry)
LOL I'm with Helene...sorry.
Don't get me wrong, I love my sister and brother, but I don't know if I would be willing to do all that for 6 weeks...especially without getting paid? I would definitely offer her something. =/ Good luck!
Our New Home! Renovation Underway! The Law Nest
TTC Journey
7/2008 - begin TTC
7/2009 - began charting
9/2009 - Dx Endometriosis
10/2009 - HSG/SA (Normal)
12/2009 -6/2010 - Lupron #1 & 2
Sep-Nov 2010- Clomid Cycles #1&2 = BFN
Dec 2010 - Clomid Cycle #3 = BFP (1/11/11);no h/b (2/10/11); D&C (2/23/11)
5/11-6/11 - herbal tea regime = BFN
7/24/2011- herbal tea regime = surprise BFP
No, I definitely agree that she should be compensated $$. And yes, you bring up really good points. I want at least the first few days to be just DH, baby and I. Then my mom for a weekend. and maybe another break and then MIL for a couple days/week. A lot of new mom's, doulas, and others have mentioned how helpful it would be to have someone to take care of all the extra stuff (not baby care) after their family left.
Unfortunately there isn't an option to have someone help us only half the time or once in awhile. Both of our families are several hours away. My SIL is really low-key and easy to be around. And I certainly would never think to ask anyone that had their own home, significant other, family or kids. I just thought she would be perfect considering she has not been working since last May and does not plan to find a full-time job and is living at home with her parents basically letting them provide for her (after graduating college). If we end up not needing her and I feel perfectly capable after only a couple weeks, then that should be fine too.
Tovachava - any idea what people would pay a Mother's Helper. I saw some rates on PSP, but they were hourly rates. I think I know how much we would give her, but just curious if you'd heard anything else.