Sex & Romance
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
HAVING ANOTHER BABY AT 39
MY SOON TO BE WANTS ANOTHER BABY,WE BOTH HAVE CHILDREN,HE HAS A 18 YR OLD AND I HAVE A 22 AND 16 YR OLD. I ALSO HAVE TO BE INSIMINATED TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD.I DO LOVE HIM AND I WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY,BUT I THINK THAT WE ARE TO OLD,BY THE WAY HES 40.WHAT SHOULD I DO,HE REALLY WANTS US TO HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER.
Re: HAVING ANOTHER BABY AT 39
TURN YOUR CAPS LOCK OFF.
Do your research on the risks, really think about if this is what you want to get into, talk to him about why he wants this and what he thinks are the pros and cons to doing this.
I can completely understand why you really don't want a child at your age. Why would you want to go through the whole getting up every few hours, changing diapers, etc all over again.
Does he know your concerns and the risks of having a child at your age? I could see if neither of you had any children, then the desire to have one might be there, but you both have grown children. Heck, you could be a new mom and a grandma all at the same time if one of your kids has a baby too!
Maybe he isn't the person for you if he wants a child with you that much and you're not on board with it. I would think he would have dated someone younger if his goal was to have another child.
Good luck.
"I would think he would have dated someone younger if his goal was to have another child."
This
Chemically assisted pregnancies, IVF, IVP and other artificial methods can be risky -- indeed check out the special boards on the NEst to see what you are up against.
It is also hugely expensive -- most medical insurance does not cover costs for artificially assisted pregnancies. It's also not a guarantee for the first time "at bat." You may need more than one try to conceive.
There also have been many women who have conceived past 40 and late 30s without artificial methods.
Something you and your SO should discuss with prudence and thoroughly.
Have you also considered foster parenting?
Insemination is the word you're looking for; get a second opinion from another obgyn -- his or her opinion may differ.
Consider your tolerance for a toddler at 43.
I don't have any children and that was decided early in my life. Once I got past my 30's, I said definitely not.
Both my husband and I came from parents who were older when we were born (my dad was 40 and his parents were either late 30's or early 40's).
Personally, you should do whatever you think is right. You know yourself better than any of us here. It sounds like you've done some research and understand that there are some risks to having a child. If you really want one, go for it. The good thing about having a child later in life is that you (most likely) are more financially secure than couples in their early 20's. My brother is 11 years older than me, and because my dad was older when he had me, I was given a lot of things that my brother didn't get. Just go through the pros and cons and determine if that is something you really want.
There are risks involved for baby yet it could be awesome. The few people I know that did it, on purpose or by accident, love the child, love the fact that they are still involved with community through childs activities and it has stregnthened their love for eachother.
I would just go find out about it at least. You may need shots for egg production and so forth, could be expensive, could be hard on your body. So do research and think about it.