June 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Responsibilities Poll:
In your household, who is in charge of...
Cooking?
Cleaning?
Laundry?
Bills?
Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc)?
Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack?
Are there still responsibilities you argue about?
How long have you lived together?
Re: Responsibilities Poll:
In your household, who is in charge of...
Cooking? group effort but most nights I come up with the concept
Cleaning? I do more indoor chores and he does outdoor chores. We take turns on the bathroom
Laundry? Mainly me
Bills? He pays all the house ones, I pay the car and my student loans
Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc)? 100% me
Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack? He says that he is too busy to do stuff and since i have a pretty easy job he assumes that I can handle the extra slack. My defense is I still work 40 hours even it most of it is spent on the nest.
Are there still responsibilities you argue about? How long have you lived together? We argue about cleaning and laundry. I just want him to help me while I clean. The other day he complained that there weren't any clean towels and since I was doing laundry the other day I should have washed them. I just laughed and told him he's got two hands. We have lived together for almost 5 years.
Cooking? Shared
Cleaning? Shared, but mostly him
Laundry? 50/50 split
Bills? Him
Planning? Me
Stress? Yeah, a lot. I'm sure once I'm done with grad school, I'll start taking over other household things.
Argue? Sometimes. He cleans a LOT more than I do, and he grumbles about it. Also he does all the grocery shopping, which he grumbles about too.
Time? 3.5 years
Cooking? We share this. Usually him, though.
Cleaning? Me.
Laundry? We actually take turns. It is my turn.
Bills? He does most of them. I take care of like 2
Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc)? This is me, for sure.
Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack? I take care of a lot of things around the house because he works nights and sleeps all day. He does the bills and things like that because he sits at a desk and has a lot of down time. He also has a "long week". I pick up a lot of extra stuff that week.
Are there still responsibilities you argue about? Cleaning and laundry. I wish he would do more to keep the house picked up. It would make cleaning a lot easier. I tend to let the laundry go to long then have to do like 10 loads at once. There are some things we need to work on.
How long have you lived together? Since December of '08.
BFP #1: 6.26.12 EDD: 2.11.13 missed m/c: 7.31.12 @ 12 weeks
BFP #2: 10.1.12 EDD: 6.11.12
<a href="http://s205.photobucket.com/albums/bb264/chaleybeth06/?action=view
Ohhh good poll Choo!
Cooking - we both enjoy it so we both do it! We alternate and sometimes cook together.
Cleaning - I do more of it but DH is good about helping when I ask. He always vacuums though 'cause I hate doing that. But I do the bathroom so I guess it's a trade off!
Laundry - ME. But that's just b/c I'm picky about what clothes dry and don't dry! He usually helps me fold.
Bills - Me.
Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc) - We typically come up with ideas together but then DH takes over. His friends have nicknamed him Camp Counselor Steve as he enjoys planning and always has everything organized for everyone.
Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack - Sometimes...right now we're both evenly stressed! We usually talk about it if one of us needs to pick up more of the slack.
Are there still responsibilities you argue about? - Not that I can think of. Oh...the cat box. I hate cleaning it, makes me gag. He hates the cat and refuses to claim her as "ours"...therefore I end up cleaning it 3 out of 4 times. I usually ask him to do it every now and then but I have to remind him over and over, so it's just easier to do it myself. He already knows he has to take it over once I'm preggers!
How long have you lived together? - It'll be 4 years in May.
This poll effing blows!
In your household, who is in charge of...
Cooking? Me
Cleaning? Me
Laundry? Me
Bills? Me
Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc)? Me
Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack? Nope, I wish.
Are there still responsibilities you argue about? Nope. I do it all.
How long have you lived together? 7 1/2 years
I survived the RoLex wedding and all I got was this lousy husband.
One&Only Palmilla - Los Cabos, Mexico
DITTO. I now see how much we're both getting royally screwed!
I survived the RoLex wedding and all I got was this lousy husband.
One&Only Palmilla - Los Cabos, Mexico
Except, in our house, I make more money! (He argues this though. His paychecks are larger because he gets paid 24 times a year and I get paid 26 times. Plus, most of his earnings are tax free. If we're speaking gross pay, I win.)
In your household, who is in charge of...
Cooking? Mostly DH because he gets home before I do, but we menu plan on Sundays together and I cook on the weekends when we don't go out
Cleaning? We used to do this together but now our cleaning lady does it!
Laundry? Both. It depends on the day really
Bills? DH. I know what they are, but we does them so that one person is the one paying everything
Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc)? I plan our social events and we share vacation planning though DH did our whole honeymoon and it was fab so I might start to ask him to do it all now
Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack? Yes. While we both work hard, I work until 7pm and get home at 8pm. This means that DH is home for almost 3 hours before I get home, leaving him time to cook and do the dishes. I hate the dishes.
Are there still responsibilities you argue about? We used to argue about dishes, but Dh has agreed to do them if I can take care of the pets.
How long have you lived together? 4 years
In your household, who is in charge of...
Cooking? Half and half, I'd say. Generally him, I'm not too patient with cooking. On the weekends I am more likely to.
Cleaning? Mostly me, unless I ask him to do something specific.
Laundry? These days, mostly him.... but that still makes me nervous.
Bills? Me, 100000% of the time
Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc)? Always me.
Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack? Ha, I wish. I find my job to be a lot more stressful because of the planning I have to do beyond what my work day allows, his is a strictly 9-5:30, come home and leave your work at work job. Either way, most of the responsibilities generally fall on me.
Are there still responsibilities you argue about? Yes - I feel like he should take care of the things that fall directly on him - i.e., paying a traffic ticket, doing stuff for his student loans, etc. I hate that he will wait until the last second, or not do it at all so I have to.
How long have you lived together? 3.5 years
Dx: MFI, unexplained recurrent miscarriages
IVF w/ICSI #1 (December 2010): m/c at 6w4d
IVF w/ICSI #2 (April 2011): c/p
FET #1 (July 2011): m/c at 7w3d
IVF w/ICSI #3 (October 2011- new clinic): BFP.
Lainey was born on June 13, 2012 via c-section at 37w3d!
Cooking? Me, always.
Cleaning? Depends on what needs to be cleaned. DH does the vacuuming and will sometimes help out with the catboxes, but I do all the mopping and dusting and bathroom/kitchen surfaces cleaning. He does the outdoor stuff, too.
Laundry? We split this. Whomever needs clothes enough to do a load will do for both.
Bills? Me. Well, I'm in charge of making sure the joint bills get paid. We each pay our own cell phones and credit card.
Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc)? Currently me exclusively. We are starting a new thing this month, though where we will take turns planning a surprise date for each other each month.
Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack? Yeah, probably. DH is working like 14 hour days these days, so some of these issues, like "cooking" is sort of a moot point--he isn't home to eat anyway. Meanwhile I'm a student so I'm home a lot more.
Are there still responsibilities you argue about? No. I wouldn't say that.
How long have you lived together? 2 years.
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="D
In your household, who is in charge of...
Cooking? Usually me
Cleaning? Some split, but more me
Laundry? Some split, but more me
Bills? Split
Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc)? More him once the logistics get set (where we'll stay, when we'll travel)
Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack? Not stress, but more the sheer number of hours he works and the wonky schedules he sometimes has.
Are there still responsibilities you argue about? I am still annoyed that he doesn't do the dishes. Ever.
How long have you lived together? May 2006
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11 due to Pre-E
BFP#3 10.2.12 (EDD 6.12.13) MMC 11.24.12 @11.5w, had passed in 7th week
My Chart Recipe Blog
~All AL'ers welcome~
I think your mister should be sentenced to one week of house husbandry. He is a kept man...
I survived the RoLex wedding and all I got was this lousy husband.
One&Only Palmilla - Los Cabos, Mexico
Eh, I'm making him sound worse than he is. Our current lifestyle is that he doesn't live there 98% of the time, and when he is home, he is beyond exhausted and needs pampering. Hopefully it won't be like this forever, but I frequently seek sympathy.
To show his gratitude though, he has graciously agreed to let me spend "our" money on 3 girl trips so far this year while he has no chance of vacation or downtime any time soon.
Cooking? both. i cook sides and my entree and he cooks meat for him (i am a vegetarian so i don't know how to cook meat). He actually prefers to do the grocery shopping or at least come with me which I think is interesting.
Cleaning? both. I generally do more, but he will mop and sweep quite a bit. he's a complete clean freak.
Laundry? me, 100% of the time.
Bills? him, 100% of the time. he's in the finance field though so it makes sense..
Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc)? both.
Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack? yes, very much.
Are there still responsibilities you argue about? generally not, but sometimes there is griping of someone has to pick up for the other a lot.
How long have you lived together? a year and a half (a year before we got married).
Cleaning? me
Laundry? me
Bills? me
Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc)? me
Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack? not so much -- I think we're about equal there.
Are there still responsibilities you argue about? I take on everything -- for many reasons, one of which I'm a control freak and don't trust him to do things MY way. Yet sometimes I get stressed out juggling everything, especially when you toss in wedding planning and househunting.
How long have you lived together? 6 years
Lucy Elizabeth 10.27.12
Cooking? Both of us
Cleaning? Both but mostly him
Laundry? Me
Bills? Me
Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc)? More me than him
Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack? Sort of, but not really.
Are there still responsibilities you argue about? the cleaning
How long have you lived together? 2 1/2 years
My Bio (wedding pics added 7/6)
My 101
Cooking? Mostly me. But that man knows his way around the kitchen. I love when he has time or gets in the mood to cook--it's such a nice treat for me.Cleaning? Me.Laundry? Me.Bills? Me.Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc)? Me.Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack? I guess I would say yes, since I stay at home. It really isn't all that stressful to play with your awesome kids all day!Are there still responsibilities you argue about? not really, we're in a pretty good groove, save for some normal miscommunication here and thereHow long have you lived together? 4 years
In your household, who is in charge of...
Cooking? Me, he doesnt know how and has no desire to learn. He does help clean up (i.e. he puts the dishes in the dishwasher while I clean the kitchen)
Cleaning? Me, he does vaccuum occassionally and he helps but he claims to not see what needs to be done
Laundry? both of us, I sort it and put it in the washer and he transfers it to the dryer and folds it.
Bills? Me
Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc)? Me for 99% of things
Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack? A little bit, he really tries to help out if I'm working late and such
Are there still responsibilities you argue about? Occassionally, mostly we argue about the fact that I have to ask him to do everything instead of him just doing it. It drives me nuts that he claims not to see that something needs cleaning or know what needs to be done because I know he knows.
How long have you lived together? 4 years
HomemadebyHolman
Follow me on Twitter
Become a Fan on Facebook
Married
In your household, who is in charge of...
Cooking? mostly me. He has a couple meals he likes to cook (like hamburger helper) but I do most of the cooking
Cleaning? me
Laundry? we each wash our own clothes since he's picky about what goes in the dryer, but i'm usually the one who washes the towels, sheets and all non-clothes things
Bills? both
Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc)? both
Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack? yes, he has to be out of town a lot lately for work, so I've been doing a lot of the chores lately.
Are there still responsibilities you argue about? Sometimes I feel like I have to do everything around the house, but before I can complain to him about it, he thanks me for taking care of everything and being such a great wife, so that makes it worth it
How long have you lived together? 1.5 years
In your household, who is in charge of...
Cooking? we both do the cooking
Cleaning? I clean on my days off but on the weekends that I work he does the cleaning
Laundry? both of us do
Bills? we both pay the bills
Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc)? I say that we both do a lot of talking on what we want to do go from their
Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack? thier are some days when I come home and I just want to do nothing and he picks up or it just waits for the next day
Are there still responsibilities you argue about? no
How long have you lived together? we have lived together for about 3 years
Cooking? mostly me. There are a few dinners that he likes to make.
Cleaning? Me.
Laundry? He does. Mostly because of work schedules.
Bills? We have separate accounts and bills but I usually initiate conversations about budget and household bills
Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc)? 50/50
Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack? Stress, no. Schedule, yes. I have nearly 2 hrs. of commute time each day and his is less than 15 min. so I'm away a lot more. But he works mid-shift and I am 8-5 so it depending on what the task is, it may be easier for one to do it.
Are there still responsibilities you argue about? No. We don't really argue about it because we know that it is our house, therefore it is our responsibility. With that said, there are things that I need to remind him to do because he doesn't hold them in the same priority.
How long have you lived together? It will be 3 years in April
Cooking? Mostly him. Especially since I've been pg.
Cleaning? 50/50 split, though I have to ask him to do it and be very specific about what needs to be done.
Laundry? Mostly me. Every now and then he'll do it but again only when asked.
Bills? Totally me.
Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc)? Totally me.
Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack? Not really. Neither of us has particularly high-stress jobs, though we do have waves when one of us is working more hours then the other, in which case, inevitably this leads to the person who is less stressed doing more around the house (if asked, in DH's case).
Are there still responsibilities you argue about? Yes. At least once a month.
How long have you lived together? It'll be 3 years in April.
Cooking? Me
Cleaning? 75% him, 25% me
Laundry? 60% him, 40% me
Bills? 75% me, 25% him
Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc)? Me
Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack? Not sure. He ends up running our odd errands when they need to be done even though he works and I don't. His job is very low stress and I'm in school though.
Are there still responsibilities you argue about? Laundry. Blech.
How long have you lived together? He moved in w/ me in March '08. We did the separate apartments but slept over at one place or another for a few years before that though.
In your household, who is in charge of...
Cooking? I am "in charge" of cooking. I plan the menus, do the weekly shopping, and cook most weeknight dinner meals. However, he does like to cook and will cook special meals on the weekends or for company. He LOVES to grill.
Cleaning? I clean WAY WAY more than he does.
Laundry? We both do the laundry. When we first got married, I was doing it all, but he has about .0001 as many clothes as I do, so he needs/wants it done about every 3 days. I find this absurd (i could go about 2 months wearing new underwear every day), so if I don't need laundry, he does it.
Bills? 100% me. I handle all the finances, although we talk about stock picks together.
Planning (vacations, dinners, social events etc)? 99% me. We have a shared google calendar, but he never looks at it. We do enjoy planning shared vacations together.
Does the stress of your jobs determine who picks up the extra slack? mmm. I work WAY more hours and make WAY more money that he does. I am also getting my MBA. He does run errands for me, etc., but I feel I still do the bulk of the domestic duties.
Are there still responsibilities you argue about? Him not doing his dishes when home/eating alone.
How long have you lived together? Since June 20