Sex & Romance
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Ahh!! Need advice about bc (and sex)
I am getting married in August (august 7th). Anyways, my husband-to-be and I are waiting until the wedding night to have sex for religious reasons and because I've always wanted it to be this way. Anyways, I want to get on some sort of birth control because I would really prefer to not have a honeymoon baby.
When would be a good idea for me to get on some sort of birth control?Now? Or would it be okay to wait until closer to the wedding?
What types of birth control (pills or other) have you been on? Which have you tried and hated because of side effects or other reasons?
Thank you so much for your help!
When you love someone, you can tell. When you're in love with someone, everyone else can tell.
Re: Ahh!! Need advice about bc (and sex)
I was on Depo provera (sp?) which is a shot. I don't recommend it. It lasts 3 month, which is nice because you don't have to think about it, but it can have some side effects. Most women stop having their periods on it... I however had mine for 6 months straight before I switched to something else.
My body seems to be pretty sensitive to hormones. I've had good luck with the pill but I end up having to switch brands fairly often because after a few years on one kind I'll start to have some spotting in between periods.
I'd recommend starting now so you can find something that works well for you, in case there are minor problems like that. I'd just got to your doctor and have her put you on something. If you take the pill, just remember to take it at the same time every day. It only takes about a month to take affect (provide birth control). Starting now will help you get used to remembering to take it on a daily basis.
Hope this helps!
The sooner you start, the better. You may have to try a few different pills before you find the one that suits you best, and you'll want to give your body plenty of time to adjust - there are typically side effects when you first start hormonal birth control, and they can last up to 3 months.
I've been on several different types of pills over the last 16 years, but my favorite so far has been the NuvaRing. I don't have any side effects and I don't have to think about it every day. You do have to be pretty comfortable with your body to use it, so it's not for everyone.
Your GYN should be able to help you decide which kind of birth control would be best for you.
If you're going to use hormonal BC, start now.
If you find that a certain drug screws w/ you in some way, it'd be much easier to know when it's much easier to go off it than later. And it can screw w/ your cycles and when they are--knowing that so that you don'tend up w/ bad timing is also important.
I also had good experiences w/ depo but a lot of people will tell you lots of horror stories about it.
Talk to your doctor, talk about what is important to you (convenience, effectiveness, cost, etc) and go from there.
I was on the depo shot too, and like the PP, I had a nonstop period (light bleeding and spotting for some of the time) for several months. They said the periods should stop all together after a year, so I gave it a chance, but after a year I was still have weeks of spotting. I have also taken Ortho Tri Cyclen, but am now on Ortho Cyclen. I seem to have a lower sex drive on the pill than with the shot, but that is the only side effect that I can think of. I havent tried the patch but a friend of mine has used it for years and loves it. I have not tried the nuva ring either, but I know several people that use it and love it.
I would talk to your doctor now about it, just like the PP said, so you can find something you like and is best for you!
I've only ever been on BCP, but this is a conversation you should have with your doctor so they can explain the risks and benefits of each. Everyone's side effects are going to be different to medication.
If you are that worried about side effects, you can always just use condoms if you haven't found something that works for you by then.
Talk to your DOC!
"Glitter is the herpes of arts and crafts. It stays on you forever."
I wanted to say congratulations on waiting!! I know that is a super hard thing to do, because my husband and i waited as well. Obviously, you'll want to talk to your doctor about all of your choices, but I used Yaz for several years (not as BC but for regulatory purposes) and really liked it. My last year on it, was pretty horrible because I got migraines and was pretty emotional. We just use condoms now, which we really like. I completely understand not wanting to use them on the honeymoon though.
I definitely suggest trying to start the birth control at least a few months before the wedding just to make sure it effectiveness is in place, as well as getting your body accustomed to the hormones.
I would also suggest getting prescribed some kind of urinary tract medication. Since my honeymoon was my first sexual experience, my doctor prescribed an antibiotic that i took preventively. I didn't have any problems, but I know several friends who got UTI's on the honeymoon and their time was almost ruined, so definitely something to look into.
Hope that helps!!!
just be aware that antibiotics may decrease the effectiveness of the pill, so you would need to use backup while on them. there are conflicting studies on this, but better to be on the safe side.
Definitely agree with everyone...there are several options all work differently on everyone...most of my friends are all on different types of bc. Make an appointment ASAP and get some options from your doctor. If you do use the pill please be sure to understand if you take antibiotics it will not be effective. I'm surprised by the number of women who had no idea and even more surprised that their doctor and pharmacist didn't warn them about it...I've been on bc for 10 years and my doctors and pharmacist still caution me when I am on antibiotics.
Sorry about the lecture... and congratulations on your upcoming marriage!
Make an appointment with your gyn(I am assuming you have one) and he/she will discuss your options. Best to start it now so your body has some time to adjust. It generally takes about 3 months for your body to adjust.
As for options. There are a ton...from the pill to Nuvaring to Depo to the IUD. I was on the pill forever(the mini-pill, or progesterone only pill, due to migraines). I flirted with the idea of Nuvaring but decided against it and now have the Paragard IUD(non hormonal).
Also, I recommend your Fiance learn to put a condom on as well, for those times when your BC might be compromised.
GL!
Just a note for those that are virgins. PEE AFTER SEX EACH AND EVERY TIME!!!!!
The sooner the better. It took me a year (and three different kinds of birth control) to figure out my body HATES birth control. I finally went off all kinds of birth control four months after I got married... I'm much happier with us using condoms.
I was on Ortho Tri-Cycline (sp), Yaz and the patch. They all screwed my period up. The thing I loved about them was that my cramps disappeared! But I'd rather have cramps than 2 week+ periods.
Find a good gyno and work it out together.
Good luck waiting to have sex! My husband and I did the same thing for religious reasons... and it was very hard to do so! (Harder then I thought it would be).
I highly recommend birth control pills like Aviane (a BCP similar to Yaz. It costs me $25/month). I was on Yaz for 2 years, switched to a crappy $9 brand from Walmart that I had a major allergic reaction to, and the finally switched to Aviane and am back to normal. I highly recommend trying out BCPs now, because some may not control your cycle and you could get caught with a baby if you find that out too close to the wedding. Also, if you want to really protect yourself, use condoms. Durex is my favorite brand.
ETA: I also used the NuvaRing for about 3 weeks before I was so fed up with being able to feel it and the need to adjust it every night. DON'T use it if you can!The simplest way to avoid urinary tract infections is to go pee after sex.
My favorite form of birth control is the pill.
I have heard negative things about Nuva Ring. A friend of my stopped using it because her husband could feel the ring during sex.
As long as you are properly lubricated and pee afterwards, you shouldn't have a UTI problem.
I just got an IUD and although it pinched and cramped a bit when it was inserted, I'm loving the freedom and efficacy of it!
I loved the pill, combined... but hated the mini pill. I bled all the time with it and had terrible mood swings.
If your blood pressure can handle it and you don't smoke then the pill can usually be a good thing, but you have to remember taking it etc... The IUD is a good choice to eliminate user error and you can get one without hormones.
Personally, I'm a believer in this. I'm on BC for medical reasons, and I take lybrel, which stops yr period. I have to take 3 pills a day to not bleed on antibiotics. My FI and I have agreed to abstain for at least one pack if I ever have to go on them again, because I have heard of people getting PG this way and then losing the baby once the pill starts working again. If I get one, I'll deal with it, but I sure as heck am not dealing with the bleeding and pain I would have from the antibiotics.
I would like to vouch for natural family planning! I was on the pill for about a year before DH and I got married, and I had bad side effects (migraines, anxiety, loss of sex drive, etc.) until I took Alesse (I tried 3 different pills), had what I assumed to be an allergic reaction, started having panic attacks and vomitting, and was sick for three weeks. After that, I decided no more hormonal bc for me (a decision DH was thrilled about after seeing me so sick). NFP has worked GREAT for us thus far. It does limit when you can have sex, but feeling like myself and actually wanting to have sex as opposed to being able to have sex all the time when on the pill but never feeling up to it has been a great trade-off. It's also nice to know that when the time comes to try to conceive, we won't have to wait forever for hormones to get out of my system. Your fiance definitely needs to be on board before you do NFP because it does limit when you can have sex (slightly), but as long as you are really disciplined about it, it is a super effective method. Problems only come into play if people aren't disciplined, use condoms during their fertile period and have a condom break, etc.
As for being a virgin and having sex, my husband and I waited until marriage as well. I would recommend not putting pressure on yourselves to go all the way the first night. We decided to take things at our own pace instead and it really took a lot of pressure off. Also, chances are sex will hurt a little, so it's a good idea to at least stretch yourself (or have him stretch you) with your fingers before taking the plunge. You may even want to consider looking at dilators like the ones they have on vaginismus.com to stretch yourself out a bit before having sex. Don't get me wrong... it's not like a terrible experience type of pain. As long as your DH goes very, very slow and makes sure you are ready to go, you will be fine (and it may not even hurt at all!).
Use a lot of lubricant.
Ashley
Three cheers for waiting! It was one of the best decisions I ever made.
I wholeheartedly agree about being fully ready (i.e. aroused--lots of foreplay!) and taking it slow the first time. Also use lubricant--you'll be nervous so you probably will need it--and try a pillow or two under your butt to raise you into a more comfortable position. This was what my husband and I did for the first few times because I was, shall we say, small down there. It helped make the experiences virtually pain-free!
If it doesn't work fully the first time, just laugh and enjoy cuddling and touching until you want to try again.
Also, I am on Alesse (Aviane or Lutera are also names of it) and have been since I started BC in 2007. I had spotting in the beginning for a few months (normal) but other than that it has been wonderful. Just suggesting what's worked for me! Condoms have always been uncomfortable for us, but they are necessary sometimes when you need a back-up (like when missing a pills or on antibiotics), so it's good to try them.
Congrats on your wedding!