June 2009 Weddings
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Name Change Confession

I'm kind of regretting my name change.  I kept my middle name and took hubby's last name, but now I wish I had dropped my middle name and taken my maiden name as a middle name.  I've just had an odd sense of a lost identity for the last few months and think I made a mistake Embarrassed

 Does anyone else have any regrets? 

Re: Name Change Confession

  • i wouldnt say regrets, but sometimes i kinda miss my old last name. i can kinda understand the feeling of lost identity.  I had a pretty unusual name (no other Megan F's even exists that I am aware of), and now my married name is fairly common. I've found like 10 other Megan B's facebook alone, so that weirded me out a bit.

    Now I still have all of my email accounts/facebook/etc with first name, maiden name, married name. Partly to avoid confusion, and partly because i get a little sentimental about letting go of the maiden name. Overall though, i do want just my married name, especially for when we have kids & stuff. It just seems easier to have 1 name for the family. And I never had an intention of replacing my middle name with my maiden name, bc i like my middle name :)

    but if it really bugs you, you can always change it again (PITA i know)

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  • I am First Maiden HisLastName and sometimes I get just a little sad about dropping my original middle. I'm not truly Kellybeth anymore. I've decided that if we have a daughter (some day) she'll have Elizabeth as a middle name and DH is on board with that so it makes me feel a little better since the name isn't totally gone.
    image
  • Yes and no.

    Yes with the whole sense of identity thing. I'm used to seeing my married name in print, but whenever someone says "Hey, Mrs. NewLastName" I kinda look at them like they're all kinds of crazy and then have to remind myself "Oh, wait, that's me." I also feel like I take too long to answer when someone asks me what my name is, because I'm not at the point yet where it's just routine to say "Colette NewLastName" or whatever. Then again, I haven't been saying it for 26 years like I had with my maiden name...

    But, despite the confusion and a bit of a lack of self-identity, I don't have any regrets.

    Photobucket
  • I might have felt sad no matter what name I gave up (and I never really considered having all 4).  Maybe it's just that the new last name is still new, so it doesn't feel right yet.  One of my coworkers said she's now been her married name longer than she was her maiden name, so in time it will feel more right. 

    I also went from a common last name to a name that is on the top ten last names list.  So maybe the generic last name has something to do with it too.

  • I've been feeling a little lost and identity-less since I took DH's last name. I miss my maiden name and the family it represents. It's why I'm happy to be Amy Maiden Married still on FB. I would have considered doubling up on the last names if it worked together more. But I am getting used to it every day. I haven't stumbled so far when saying my new name and only a few times in signing it.
    image image
    Lucy Elizabeth 10.27.12
  • Oh, and KB? FRAUD FRAUD FRAUD! You may as well go back to your original SN at this point.

     

    Wink 

    image image
    Lucy Elizabeth 10.27.12
  • I don't regret changing my last name, but sometimes I feel like I don't have a connection to it yet.  Like when I think of my maiden name, I think of my family, and when I think of married name, I think of his.  Maybe once we have kids it will help to tie everything together.

    and I have a little name confession of my own:  I still can't figure out how to sign my new last name.  It has 2 r's in it and I have never been able to sign them.  When I sign something my first name is always neat and pretty and the last name is a mess.

  • imagestephriz:

    I'm kind of regretting my name change.  I kept my middle name and took hubby's last name, but now I wish I had dropped my middle name and taken my maiden name as a middle name.  I've just had an odd sense of a lost identity for the last few months and think I made a mistake Embarrassed

     Does anyone else have any regrets? 

     

    I feel the exact same way and I hate it. Even before I changed my name, I didn't want to because I have issues with his family and whatnot and didn't really want to be associated with them at all. My DH actually got mad when I said I didn't want to change my name and so I gave in and am still regretting it. 

  • This is actually why I didn't change my name at all. I liked my name and who I had become as that person. I wasnt sure who Kristin Othername was and honestly, I didn't care to find out. It's one of the things I am most proud of doing, despite my MIL's objections!
  • imagestephriz:

    I'm kind of regretting my name change. 

    This is exactly why I have yet to legally change my name...

    We've finally come to a compromise with this whole situation. I'm not going to legally change it until we have kids, so then it will feel like I'm taking our new family name, not just taking his last name. I know it sounds insane, but I'm slightly attached to my maiden name. We've been together since I was 16 and I sort of feel like it is the last thing I have that is 'mine' before he was a part of my life. Crazy, I know...

    From Oy Vey to Ole!

    image

    I survived the RoLex wedding and all I got was this lousy husband.
    One&Only Palmilla - Los Cabos, Mexico
  • imagemamie329:

    Oh, and KB? FRAUD FRAUD FRAUD! You may as well go back to your original SN at this point.

     

    LOL. My family still calls me KB though, does that count?

    image
  • It didnt really bother me to give up my maiden name at all... however, new last name doesnt really roll off the tongue for me either.  I have a lot of slip ups when i introduce myself or answer the phone.  I think its because my maiden name was so common and there were a million people with the same name so it wasnt anything I was ever overly attached to.
  • Oh, I am thrilled to have my new last name!  I moved from the Ws to the Ls which, let me tell you, makes a big difference.  Most recently, when giving the oral defense of my second year project (still haven't gotten my scores back, you all will be the first to know) I found out we were presenting in reverse alphabetical order by last name.  That means I would have been person 1, day 1, and presenting something totally unfinished and ultimately different from what I ended up presenting (as person 1, day 2, but day 2 was two weeks later).

    I did make my maiden name my middle name, and I am frankly sick of seeing it everywhere.  Can we shorten it to W or drop it off altogether?

  • imageChooGirl:

    This is exactly why I have yet to legally change my name...

    We've finally come to a compromise with this whole situation. I'm not going to legally change it until we have kids, so then it will feel like I'm taking our new family name, not just taking his last name. I know it sounds insane, but I'm slightly attached to my maiden name. We've been together since I was 16 and I sort of feel like it is the last thing I have that is 'mine' before he was a part of my life. Crazy, I know...

    Exactly this. Actually change 16 to 17. = D 

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  • I haven't changed mine legally for a mix of all of the reasons already stated. My maiden name is distinctive and ethnic, his is extremely common. I like my family and the name I was given. My kids have his last name obviously, but it hasn't bothered me at all yet. The doctors and instructors still call me "MrsHisLastName" just assuming we all have the same name. But I am still myidentity on paperwork, credit cards, license etc..., so it works for everyone I think, so far at least.

     

  • I don't miss my old last name at all.. My old last name had alot of confusion/technicalities with it.. so to know that Savannah A is my name.. not "well my name is savannah g but then again it could have been savannah w becuase of this and that... blah blah blah... Hello I am Savannah A!
  • I'm not upset about losing the maiden... but it is a bit confusing at work, where I have to log in as jcmaidenname b/c the public school system's computers are nearly impossible to update.  After I log in the system greets me, "Welcome J C Hislastname!"  makes no sense.  Plus all the kids I had the last three years are having issues with the name change.  Some of them had translated my fairly common last name into Spanish and they still call me that.... which really confuses this year's students who didn't know my maiden name and couldn't figure out how the other kids got the Spanish name from my new name.
  • I never dropped any name--i just tacked his last name to the end because of complicated legal issues of dropping your first name in KY i couldn't bear to part with my maiden name.

     I have the toughest time: I constantly introduce myself as Lauren Maidenname. And I went from literally the only Lauren Maidenname  to one of 500+ Lauren Hislastname. 

     But, as a child, my mom never took my dad's name because she had her own business in her last name and it was really hard on me as a kid--everyone assumed my parents weren't married, and i couldn't understand why she wouldn't take my last name when i was littel.  So, i get through the change knowing that our eventual whole family will all have the same last name.

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