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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Gift-giving etiquette??
Asking for a friend....I know what *I* would do, but it may not be "proper"
If you haven't seen or heard from a friend in over 2 years and they send you an invitation to their wedding, are you supposed to send a gift?
[poll]
Re: Gift-giving etiquette??
From my own experience, I received an invitation from an old HS friend that I hadn't talked to since HS. I send the RSVP card back with a "no" but didn't send a gift. I thought it was silly of her to invite me anyway....
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I'm interested to see the responses to this one. I think that etiquette states you have to send a gift no matter what, but I'm torn also. A bunch of my college roomies are getting married this year and I haven't talked with them in about 2 years. They were invited to my wedding, didn't go and we didn't get a gift. I'm still a little bitter since I was assuming they would come and they gave some pretty lame excuses as to why they couldn't. I'm thinking I'll send them a card, but no gift.
Not sure of the situation, but it may be the friend's way of reaching out, letting her know that she is still important enough to include her in this special day.
Just a thought, from my own experience.
We had people come to the wedding who didn't bring gifts that we were friends for years with. The only people who sent gifts that RSVP'd no to us were our families.
If it were me and I hadn't spoke to the person in years I would think I was being used for a gift. If you haven't seen them in 2 years is sending a gift going to change that and make you closer? Probably not. You are just out money.
Good Luck with the decision.
Ditto. But if it was someone that I was one really close, I'd probably send a card with a little something in it. Not an expensive something, but a something. I'd still want them to know I wished them well, just as I hoped they were wishing me well when the invitation was written.
I honestly didn't know that etiquette says to send a gift if you get an invitation even if you don't attend. We only had a couple of people send us a gift that didn't attend. Heck, we had a few people that came and didn't even give us a card. I understand if money is tight and you can't afford a gift, but a card would have been nice.
I doubt that I would send a gift but it would probably depend on the prior relationship and if I thought we might reconnect in the future. Maybe by sending the invitation they are trying to reconnect.
I voted no, but I wanted to add that if it was friend I was very close to at one point and wanted to reconnect with, I would send a gift. I was floored when friends I hadn't seen in years sent us gifts for our wedding. They weren't invited to the wedding mainly because they were out of town and we really only communicated a couple times a year via email. I would've loved to have had them there, but was afraid to send them an invite in case they thought I was only fishing for gifts! I thought it was so incredibly thoughtful and sweet of them to give us a gift. On the other hand, we had people who were invited, came to the wedding (some, I think just came to the reception) and we didn't get diddly squat from them...no card or anything. To me, that's just plain rude. I'm not a gift wh*re, but like pp said, a card would've been nice.
Another thing, I was more PO'ed with people who came but were not invited than I was with people who didn't bring/send gifts/bother to RSVP.
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If they used to be a great friend I would send something small.
If they used to just be an aquantaince and there is no plan in ever seeing them again then no. But if they run in the same social circle still then I might send something small.
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But if I haven't talked to you in 2+ years, why are you inviting me to your wedding?
I personally would send back a no RSVP and then not send a gift.
Great responses, ladies! I love this board...it's such a great way to get perspective.
Apparently this person is an old college friend of her husband's. Not sure what she's going to do, but I filled her in on the consensus here!
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If I hadn't seen or heard from her in two years...that would be a double no from me. No on the RSVP and no gift. Not to be rude but she's either needing to fill seats or wanting more gifts.
I vote no, not a gift, but I would send a card and if I could, a small, maybe $15 or $20 gift card to a place they are registered.
That is a small gift for us, because we try to spend about $75 for a wedding gift, and maybe more if we weren't invited to the shower.