August 2006 Weddings
KateAggie
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NER: C&P from parenting
Am I the only one disturbed that everyone is telling her this is no big deal?!?!?
http://boards.thenest.com/boards/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=56198119&forumid=247
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Re: NER: C&amp;P from parenting
I know I'm not supposed to go there, but I had a very hard time getting past "we've went".
That being said, the number of people on that board who have children and don't have wills is shocking and mind numbing.
Also, can you really just write it on a piece of paper like a grocery list and ask the neighbors to initial it???
Agreed.
Agreed.
Not exactly. Some states will admit really casually drawn up, non-official wills into probate, but it's risky. You don't need a lawyer to write a will, but if you want to be 100% sure your wishes get carried out the way you want them to, you probably should.
Well, if you know your state laws, and they do everything for you that a will would, then really, is it that big a deal?
Kids would go to closest kin and inherit everything, right? So, unless you want something different than that, why pay a lawyer?
She says specifically that the families would fight over their kids. Not to mention, a will expedites everything.
I just cannot imagine having kids and not having plans in place. It's extremely irresponsible, IMO.
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Ditto KateAggie.
FI and I have talked about drafting up wills as soon as we're married, but we'll definitely do it as soon as we have kids. We just feel it's incredibly irresponsible to leave those decisions up to other people when you could make things so much easier by taking an hour out of your life to meet with an atty now and put this down on paper.
Oh, well, if they know the families will fight, then definitely get that done ASAP.
We do have wills, b/c it's a free service to us, and it's strongly encouraged with H deploying and our residency state is different than where we reside, but most of it seemed rather unnecessary since we have no assets going to anyone but each other, and we have no kids. And in the potential case that both of us would be dead, closest kin would execute. It's just that when I've looked into things like wills and pre-nups, it seems that existing state laws have done everything we would have done ourselves.
WOW. Kids and no will = so irresponsible! SERIOUSLY! We dont have a will, but Im also not concerned with who would take our dogs - anyone would be fine and I doubt there would be fights over them. And our possessions can go to our parents. Whatever. BUT... when we have children you can bet we will get wills asap.
I can understand that it is a hard discussion to have - you are talking about yourselves dying, and probably fighting about which family would be better. Not fun for sure. But... its gotta be done. And not just because they are leaving town - like someone said, you can cross the street going to the grocery store and be killed just as easily.
I get it without kids (like I said, we dont) but I would never trust the state to do what we would want. Get it in writing and then there is no question. You never know - people dying and fighting over estates let alone children brings out the worst in them.
Clearly I suck as a parent. I left my kids for FIVE days with no will in place. The horror. I did think enough ahead to leave an insurance card though. I guess I get a point there.
Seriously, we don't have a will set up. Maybe we should but I really don't see any disputes between family members over who "gets" the kids. My one sister can barely stand kids. My other sister is only 19. My SIL - Ha, ha, ha, my kids barely know her. I could maybe see my MIL fighting but the reality of it is that she works 5 days per week and probably couldn't afford DC for the kids while she's working. So looks like my mom & dad, "win" LMAO!
summer - i have heard HORROR stories. Just because your kids dont know SIL at all doesnt mean she wouldnt try to get them... and if you dont want that to happen... well... you need to make it legal. Same with your parents vs ILs. Just because it makes sense to you that your parents would "win" doesnt mean that is how it will play out. And these things can get long and drown out, and would you really want your kids to go through a long custody battle?
I stand by my comments. the responsible thing to do as a parent is to have a will in place for if god forbid something happens. It also protects your children... protects your assets from going to someone else, and can force any assets to be used only for your kids. etc.