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semi@ - Parenting, Inc.
Has anyone else read or heard of this book? I'm reading it now, and wow, it is very interesting.
Here's an interview with the author:
http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2008/03/29/parenting_inc/
To comfort the squalling newborn, there's now the Miracle Blanket ($29.99) and the Kiddopotamus SwaddleMe ($9.99) with specially designed flaps for snug newborn-wrapping; both claim to be a one-stop swaddling solution that will soothe a fussing little one. To protect the sleeping baby from sudden infant death syndrome, there's the Halo SleepSack Wearable Blanket ( $19.99), which zips baby in tight, so she won't be at risk of inadvertently suffocating under her blanket during the night. Even that seemingly timeless icon of infancy, the baby blanket, just isn't that simple anymore.
The clever, bizarre and sometimes insidious ways that marketers capitalize on today's parents' fears and aspirations for their children is the subject of a new expos? by journalist Pamela Paul titled "Parenting, Inc." Paul documents how, in recent years, the market for baby products, services and equipment has ballooned like a giant inflatable bounce house. In 2005, baby soap sales alone raked in almost $100 million, an increase of 17 percent in just one year. That's a lot for soap bubbles.
I think the most interesting part of the book is the part about toys and 'edutainment', how parents are SO concerned with turning their kids into little geniuses that they buy all these fancy (and expensive) toys. But many of those toys are actually counterproductive. Another excerpt:
How have toys changed in the last 20 years ?
Hugely. When you think back to the '60s and '70s, all the right-thinking progressive parents thought toys should be natural and open-ended. Crayola and Kinder Blocks and Lego were considered raise-your-kid-smart toys. Then, all this data that came out which said that kids need to be stimulated. They need sound! They need multi-sensory experiences! Now, the more bells and whistles a toy has, the supposedly better it is.
Our parents' generation actually had it right. The less the toy does, the better. Everyone thinks: "Toys need to be interactive." No, toys don't need to be interactive. Children need to interact with toys. The best toys are 90 percent kid, 10 percent toy, the kind of thing that you can use 20 different ways, not because it has 20 different buttons to press, but because the kid, when they're 6 months old is going to chew on it, and toss it, but when they're a year they're going to start stacking it.
There's also a misunderstanding of what's worthwhile to do with your child and what's not. Doing the things that our supposedly neglectful parents did, like toting us around town, from the dry cleaner to the grocery store, that's all incredibly informative and worthwhile for kids. It's better to do that with your kid than plant them on the floor with a Fisher-Price learning table that has 25 noise-making buttons, while you're checking your e-mail.
Is the problem with these so-called educational toys that they really can't teach what they claim to, or is it more insidious? Do they actually inhibit learning somehow?
It's both. They do actively inhibit learning. There have been lab studies that show that once a kid figures out how a toy works, they're done with that toy. A toy that goes "Ring!" when the kid presses a button is really exciting at first, but once the kid figures that out, where is there to go with that? And bad toys ruin the good toys. I talked to teachers, educators and psychologists who are finding that kids are less interested in the good toys, because they seem relatively boring.
Anyway, I would definitely recommend it. It's an interesting read.
Re: semi@ - Parenting, Inc.
Everyone thinks: "Toys need to be interactive." No, toys don't need to be interactive. Children need to interact with toys. The best toys are 90 percent kid, 10 percent toy, the kind of thing that you can use 20 different ways, not because it has 20 different buttons to press, but because the kid, when they're 6 months old is going to chew on it, and toss it, but when they're a year they're going to start stacking it.
This definitely seems far more logical to me. How will kids ever learn to think outside the box with single-function high-tech toys. Once you learn to do all the stuff it's supposed to do, you're done. I supposed the actual baby geniuses could rewire it and create a stink bomb or something from it, but I feel that's asking a bit much from a toddler.
omg! cardboard boxes are so much fun!! I liked pretending like it was a tv.
Exactly, Marquis.
I've been saying this forever to DH - I think most video games are really bad for kids if for no other reason than there's only ONE right way to play them. In order to get to level 2, you have to do X, kill X guy, do this exact sequence. There's no creativity whatsoever. That's why I kind of love Xbox games like Hitman (despite the disturbing nature of the game) - you're free to play the level however you want, and there are lots of different choices and possible outcomes. Not that I would let a young kid play Hitman, of course, but you know what I mean.
Plus, I've observed so much with my 16 yr old stepson, kids give up SO easily. Can't figure out the puzzle on level 10 after a couple tries? Ok, just look for the cheat codes online. They never want to put any effort into it when it's so easy to just find the answer somewhere. And to me it's like, what's the point of playing the game if you're going to do that? I think kids have really lost their ability to problem-solve and be creative these days. They've been constantly entertained their whole lives, now they have no clue how to entertain themselves. They get bored so easily and have no idea how to make their own fun.
Yes!! It was like, the best thing in the world when your parents bought a new refrigerator or something because you got to play with that awesome huge box.
I think it's telling that us nerds played with cardboard boxes.
lyss, you're baby will be mensa-bound, I'm sure!
I completely agree and I'll be limiting the amount of toys in my house in general. My family members with kids have houses that are just astounding to me in terms of toy volume. I never had that much crap -- mainly because I played outside so much.
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
I have a relative whose very large basement is absolutely COVERED in toys. Going up there gives me intense anxiety.
Thanks for posting - I think I'll check this book out.?ITA about kids losing creativity. It's really sad because youth is such a great time to be inventive and develop those think outside the box skills. Later on it's easier for the world around you to squash that kind of thinking.
One of my favorite toys from childhood were the couch cushions. They made good kid-sized buildings
I try to limit toys but my family doesn't get it. My kids are the ONLY grandkids on both sides and likely will be for quite some time. I've been known to not put batteries in certain toys because I see no reason for them to be "interactive" - for example Melissa & Doug wooden puzzles that make noises when you put the piece in the right spot? WHY is that necessary? My MIL bought them for the kids so I just never put batteries in them. She actually SNUCK batteries into one once.
But I will say that MIRACLE BLANKET KICKS A$$!!!!!
it's right... there is far too much "stuff" involved in parenting
(although, Swaddle Me's were our savior when DD was really little, but that's a whole other story)
There's a lot out there that you don't need. Period.
There's a lot out there that we bought that I regret buying.
We're tryong to minit DD's plastic and electronics, but there are a lot of plastics that fall into that "90% kid" sentiment - - just look at Lego's!
I am the 99%.
Love the article--it so fits in with my minimalistic way of living (which is largely due to laziness anyway).
I figured that's often a problem--I'm sure people have relatives/friends who just love to shower gifts on the little ones and who think you must have the hottest new such-and-such.
There's a lot out there that we bought that I regret buying.
Like what, mominatrix?
Honestly, my biggest baby purchase regrets are things that we're told in this society that we "need" but, in reality, we really didn't.
We have a big stroller (the Bugaboo-type Mutsy 4Rider) and a smaller one (a Maclaren Quest)... if I could talk to my 2-years ago self, I would tell her not to buy a stroller AT ALL until after baby was born, and then maybe just get something like the Maclaren. Our DD was happiest in a carrier (like the Moby wrap or Ergo or similar, NOT a bucket) and so the big stroller is kind of a waste. We use it, but not to the extent of its price.
We also have a crib... we weren't planning on cosleeping, it just happened. So now we have a crib that DD has never slept in and probably never will.
Also because we coslept, any warm jammies (the fleece kind) DD never wore - that includes the sleep sacks. We always had/have her in cotton jammies, because between the two of us, she gets way too warm for anything more.
I'm sure there are more things, but the big ticket items (crib, stroller) weigh on me.
The point I'm trying to make is that if you read something like this, you'll think that something like a swaddling blanket is a terrible overspecialization, when in reality, they're brilliant.... AND there are things that you would think would fall into the "necessities" column, that really aren't... KWIM?
I am the 99%.
There's a lot out there that we bought that I regret buying.
Like what, mominatrix?
Well I'm not her but I'll answer anyway. See the one problem with babies/kids is that you JUST NEVER KNOW what they'll like. We had it all with my son - swing, bouncer, pack & play, jumperoo, baby carrier, mobile, boppy, strollers (uh, 3 total - each has different uses *embrassed*) and so on. He HATED everything. He had reflux so that was part of the problem.
My daughter on the other hand, she loved the bouncer, loved the Bumbo (didn't have for my son) and loved being in the Ergo. Everything else was just "eh" - I thought she'd love the playmat but nope. Waste of money.
IMO the most useful things overall were strollers, Ergo, bouncer, Bumbo & PnP (we use it for camping) and miracle blanket (wish I would have had that for my son). Problem is all that stuff has such limited time of use due to weight limits, etc.
The biggest waste of money for ME was the swing. Neither of my kids liked that thing. Plus that f-er is HUGE.
When it comes to strollers, I beg to differ BUT I walk a lot. I live on a gravel road and I needed a stroller that could handle that so a big one with "real" wheels is what I needed. Then I needed one for malling b/c my big one is just too big. I had a third one that sucked and returned it. I do agree that a carrier is awesome but I always had trouble getting DD in the Ergo by myself so I usually relied on a stroller when alone, which is every other weekend for me.
see?
DD loved the swing... loved it, loved it, loved it... It was mommy's little sanity saver.
Every child and every parental circumstance is different.
So, there are a ton of options out there, and you guess which ones will work for you - and some of your guesses will be wrong.
I am the 99%.
That being said, I just put a hold on the book at my library!
I am the 99%.
And why are we buying kids more plastic crap that comes from China? Haven't we learned anything?
I agree with the overstimulation bit, but it is hard when people keep buying you stuff. We have most of it in a drawer and try to just keep out a few things that she loves. It's also hard when you are sitting with other parents and they talk about what their child has/is doing and then the conversation comes to "Ohmigosh, you don't have Baby Einstein?! You need it! Little so-and so was counting at 7 mos and I swear it was from Baby Einstein!" I exaggerate but you get the idea. At the moment she is mostly into wooden blocks, toothbrushes, and spoons.
I agree, get a few things and see what s/he likes, you'll waste money any other way. That said, could not live without the Ergo, esp cause she hated that Miracle Blanket, so when she was fussy, I put her in the Ergo and she was out like I light! Also here they have something like a Halo sack (schlafsack) and I love it. It's not tight at all and you don't worry about the blanket issue.
Every person I know that has an Ergo LOVES it. I bought a used one - best purchase ever. My daughter is a tiny thing (20 lbs, if that at 17 months) and she still loves the Ergo. It's great, especially when we camp b/c I can put my son in the stroller and my daughter in the Ergo on hikes, etc. LOVE IT. LOVE IT.
I was a total star. my parents probably got pretty tired of my TV shows and full length features (yes, it sometimes went on that long...)
I think a lot of what was said here is also kind of the point of her book - that every child is different, most kids don't need EVERYTHING that is marketed. These companies really prey on parents' insecurities and anxieties - they never say so directly, but it's always there: if you don't buy your child X, Y, and Z, he'll turn out to be a dull child and most important behind everyone else's children. The competition aspect is a HUGE factor too - people who are desperate to have the latest and greatest for their child primarily because OTHER parents have it and THEIR kids are already reading at 12 months or something.
She also makes an interesting point about child development - it's not necessary great to have your child learning their shapes and colors and learning to count at 3 months. The human brain develops in a certain way for a reason - earlier is not always better. Trying to teach your child to count at 3 months might be inadvertently interfering with her natural process of learning other vital skills. We in America have a tendency to try to cram as much in as possible, to believe that more is always better, but it's not necessarily true.
Besides....Einstein himself didn't have Baby Einstein.
Oh and on toys: American children comprise 4% of the world's children, yet consume 40% of the world's toys. Forty percent.