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Family Drama Vent-long
So my real dad and i have not had a relationship for almost 10 years. He has a half sister whom she and i just dont see eye to eye. She is Bipolar and has been for years and has had drugs issues so much that they lost their house. Not to mention one of her daughters did something really awful to another teen online and she ended up on Dr. Phil. (such a proud moment!)(sarcasm).
So jump ahead to a few months ago she asks my cousin whom im very close to for my email and phone number. She gets my email and starts emailing me about why i dont talk to my dad and i need to and telling me all of her problems but how she always worries about others. As much as i cant stand her and shes always been extremely nosey i just tell her the problems between my dad and i are strictly that. I have forgiven him multiple times and gave 10000 chances only to get hurt in the end. Ive said sorry for things ive never even done just to make peace. Anyways she keeps telling me over time its my job to do the work etc. Mind you i have to remind her i dont need this stress while being pregnant and that once again its between he and i.
So the drama this week is that nick found a comment she left on facebook for one of her friends talking about how she has a whiney niece who made up all of these high risk problems like no other woman has been pregnant before and that "all of my 12 year old friends fall for it and actually pity me". By this time my face and nicks face is the color of my hair! On the end of it she puts that she should erase it but never did. I wanted to respond so bad it killed me not to but i know her and thats what she wants, she wants to add fuel to the fire. So i contact my cousin and let her know what she said and she said well Aunt so and so said she wanted you to see that and she doesnt feel bad etc. Fine, whatever. I still dont respond, in fact i defriend her and etc. The next night i get an inbox telling me from her that she was sick of walking on eggshells because of a made up problem during pregnancy and "good luck at trying to be a good mother". So still fuming nick and i figure out how to block her in box messages.
Ok first of all who is going to make up being on bedrest and bleeding for 6 weeks. I would much rather have had a normal pregnancy and had no problems. So the only action i take is i vent to a friend of mine that ive known for years and he knows her and etc and i write my dad to tell him im sick of this and im sorry but she is no longer "family" to me. To which my dad responds and says you know shes just that way as if thats a good enough excuse to rip someone like that and its not thats why she gets away with it.
So finally last night, i get a text message from my cousin going off about my friend saying he put something on my aunts page saying a bunch of things about her and calling her out on it and my aunt called my cousin crying. First of all, the things he said were the truth but more importantly i did not tell him to do this nor did i want him to cause its just causing me more problems. I do not feel bad in the slightest that she cried and was all upset. I just feel like i got hammered out of no where not even expecting this. This is exactly why i told my dad my son will not be around that family. Its just so ridiculous and i know my friend was just defending me and himself included and i appreciate it but i told my cousin i didnt even know what he said i cant read her page and i dont want to. No one in that family has ever defended me nor would they probably so here i sit and im assuming theres major talk still going on behind my back and im days away from having a son.
Sorry that was so long but i really need to put it out there. I will probably DD later only because of the mention of the Dr. Phil thing.
ETA: Ive never been more proud to have a stepfamily and inlaws and my moms side who are so normal. Also i just appreciate all of my friends and everyone so much more then when a biological family acts like this!
Re: Family Drama Vent-long
What your friend did wasn't the best thing ever but what's done is done. If you haven't already I would just say thanks but next time, leave them alone.
I'm sorry you have to be going through this. As much as it'll hurt, I think you need to sever all ties with them. Look into changing your e-mail address, block them from all facets of facebook and maybe even get a new cell phone number.
Your life is about to change for the best with that precious little man coming into your life and you do not need their poision ruining that. Take a fresh start with your new family and decide who you want in it.
Here's my 2? and you can take it for what it's worth (you may not even be looking for thoughts/advice):
At this point, you want nothing to do with your dad, right? You've pretty much cut hopes that thigns will magically be better and it's more hassle than it's worth. Same is now applying to this aunt. I'd STOP talking about it to my friend (or specifically tell him to STAY THE EFF OUT OF IT), cousin, dad, aunt, etc. Talking to someone else about another family member only stirs the pot - it's family, it never stays with the one person you tell it to.
And it's time for you and Nick to decide if you can just cut them out of the picture altogether. Block them on FB, don't answer their calls, and write or call them with a brief explanation saying "This is incredibly unhealthy and we need to do what's best for us and our future family. We do not wish to be contacted by you and will not contact you in return."
MUCH EASIER said than done. (I'm in a similar boat with my dad; he does that - all he talks about is other family members when I call him. I always try to stop him because I don't want to hear it. I also don't like that he does nothing but put down every family member we have. I'm not to the point where I'm ready to cut off EVERYONE related to my dad because my siblings and aunts would go through the roof.)
You've dealt with all of that. You've cut your dad out, if I recall. Maybe it's time to cut out that aunt, too. Because "family" loves you, even when they don't like or agree with what you're doing. That aunt? Not so much.
I agree with Mel. You don't need all the crap in your life and with your little baby boy coming into the world, that's even more reason to take out the trash.
Anybody can get into a fight but it takes a bigger person to walk away.
Let's face it: It's their loss!
I agree with everything Mel said. You need to sever all ties and distance yourself from them. You know the truth about what happened during your pregnancy and (I hate saying this but) those pregnancy hormones are getting in the way and making you upset (it happened to me too). Don't worry about what they said. You need to focus on you and the baby and the family that matters to you and YH.
I have to tell you the emotions you will be going through after having that little boy will surprise you. I didn't think I was that bad at all and now I look back and wonder how I didn't realize I was being so dramatic. Remember it's perfectly normal though! I'm glad you vented and got this out of your system and I hope you can remove it from your thoughts and focus on what's important. {{HUGS}}