Sex & Romance
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Fear of Babies = No Sex!
My husband has a fear of getting me pregnant. So bad that we only have sex twice a month at the most because of it. I have gotten on the nuva ring, but it still hasnt calmed his fear....he still begs to use a condom for double protection. i hate the condom becuase it reduces the feeling for me and i cant enjoy it as much. Its an ongoing issue between us and its really affecting our sex life, but i dont know what else to do. sex isnt enjoyable with condoms, and we are paying $70 a month for birth control. its just so frusterating.
what is your advice for us?
Re: Fear of Babies = No Sex!
Well, I'm on BC too. I have DH pull out. It's not as effective as condoms but it lowers the risk of pregnancy. I actually want him to do it so it's less messy for me. And I hate condoms too.
Why is he so fearful of having a kid? I think you guys really need to talk about why he is afraid of it. Also, perhaps you should show him the information on the Nuva ring and explain how it works.
My DH was scared at first too but he got over it pretty fast (two weeks).
Hes not afraid to have kids, he just doesnt want them now becuase he wants to see us become more financially stable and get into a bigger house before even the thought of kids. He also knows if i were to get pregnant there would be a lot of sacrifices he would have to make that i know hes not willing to make right now, so i think thats whats making him freak.
lately he has been pulling out, but he doesnt like it. so we try to alternate between condoms and pulling out but it seems like at least one of us is not happy.
Before we got married . we dated for about 2 1/2 years before we started having sex, then it was pretty frequent at first, and then we agreed to slow it down because he was raised in a pretty conservative home and he was feeling a lot of conviction. up until the wedding we were lucky to have sex about once a month.
thanks for the responses, its been so hard to find someone to talk about this too, its not the most comfortable thing to talk about!
Kristi and Kerry June 21,2008
In addition to Kuus' suggestion, have your DH look at the Planned Parenthood website for exact stats on the efficacy of birth control.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control-4211.htm
I share your distaste of condoms. I think the spermicide is an excellent idea for dealing with your DH lingering fears of pregnancy. Honestly, birth control works and most people use it for many many years without incident.
Well, I apologize for saying he was fearful. Your titles says "Fear of Babies= No Sex!".
Anyway, I would educate your DH on forms of birth control like I said before and also what the other women said. That's your best bet to put his mind at ease. Did you always depend on two forms of birth control or is this a new issue?
I believe they want babies later. At least she does...
While having it placed?!?!? That sounds like an issue to bring up to the medical review board.
You don't ovulate when you're on birth control - that's the whole point. And I seriously doubt she wants to give up birth control if her husband is that afraid of getting her pregnant.
D/x with endometriosis Aug. 2011
Expecting "Huckleberry" 8/29/12
I completely disagree with using spermicide... the infection I got from using it was not worth knowing that I killed the little swimmers.