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online dating sites

So i saw a few of you ladies met your DH through an online dating site... Hopefully some of you guys can help me out....

My best guys friend (the best man at our wedding), has never had a gf. He is 26 years old, cute, smart, has a job, a car, etc. but doesnt know how to talk to girls. I tried (and failed) to set him up with one of my friends (even though I still think they are perfect for one another)... but I dont have alot of single gfs in the area.

Ive tried to convince him to try online dating, but he thinks that its for losers (dont hold that against me - i dont think that at all)

How/why did you decide to online date?

How/why did your husband decide to online date?

Other than meeting your DH  - was it worth it to online date? That is, were your other dates worthwhile, or were they all sketchy guys, etc.?

How do I/Can I even convince him to try the online dating route?

 TIA!

Re: online dating sites

  • My DH was on match originally when he lived in L.A.- so when he relocated here he thought it would be a good way to meet people. He wasn't necessarily looking for a gf/wife.

    I wish I could talk to your friend- my initial reaction was the exact same as his. I was in a looooong relationship, so when I found myself single again I had no idea how to meet people. Not into bar hopping, nobody at work,etc. My girlfriend had been divorced for a while and FINALLY drilled it into my head that "normal" people were online-  yeah, some oddballs, but it's just like life. She logged onto her account, and showed me some guys that all sounded similar to my situation. Honestly, I never expected to fall in love, I had only been single for 4 months when I met DH. I honestly just wanted to meet people with the same interests as me who I could go to movies, dinner, events with.

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  • I had tried eharmony once or twice and it didn't work for me but it's worked for a lot of people I know.  For me, it was more God's timing than anything.  DH was married to someone else while I was on eharmony so that is why it wasn't "working" for me.  I decided to try match.com because I had tried eharmony and had it not work for me.  I met more people on match.com than eharmony but you do have to sift through the ones you don't want to waste your time with.  My suggestion to your friend is to just try it out.  Make a decent profile (with a picture) and see how it works for him.  If, after a few months he hasn't met anyone then give it a break.  You are only out like $30 or so with match.  There are tons of sites out there but I've found that the ones worth trying are the ones you have to pay for.  Plentyiffish.com has a bazillion people on it cause it's free and a friend of mine had a bunch of dates from it but they were only looking for one thing (that and she was a total spaz and would date anything with a you know what).  DH did it because he was divorced and runs his own business so didn't have time for much else.
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  • I ended up trying eharmony b/c my best friend had convinced me to give it a try.  I was skeptical at first, you do have to be careful but just use common sense.  My husband tried it b/c he had been divorced for about 5 years and wanted to start dating but wasn't sure where to look and he is shy.  I would suggest doing it to anyone but as I said before just use common sense, there are some wierdos out there.
  • We met using Yahoo Personals.  I am very shy and it helped me alot to be able to get to know someone via messages/email at first instead of awkward conversations.  

    I initially was on match.com and joined there because a friend and I decided to sign up at the same time.  I was there about a year, met 5 or 6 guys, never lasting more than 3 or 4 dates.  I don't waste my time though.  I guess I mean, that I'm not someone to date someone just for the sake of dating someone, or to say I'm in a relationship.  I've seen too many of my friends waste their time with a guy who was good, but not great, and just think it would get better.  I don't do that.  I'm an all or nothing gal, and if I didn't think the guy could be "the one" then I thought, why waste my time in an okay relationship when I could be out there looking for "the one."  

    Anyway, I never really asked DH why he joined, he's on the shy side too, and definitely not the type to go pick up girls at bars.  I know he didn't have many close friends when we met, so he was probably looking for a new way to meet people.  

    July 19, 2008

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