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Scared to have sex
My husband and I are going on 2 years married. Sex has always been a rough part in our marriage mostly because our sex drives aren't coordinated at all and we end up barely doing it once a week (sometimes it seems like once a month). I'm also pregnant but don't want that to keep us from doing it. Basically I think I've narrowed down the problem to me. Every time we start cuddling or kissing or whatever my mind starts racing and I assume it'll end in sex and that's great and all so I get excited a little, but then my mind races faster and I start getting scared it'll be painful (yet again), that I won't be able to get him to orgasm, that I won't be able to orgasm, that it won't be fun, that I won't do it right. No matter how hard I try to shut my brain down or think positive thoughts about how much my husband and I love each other, I'm still freaked out. I know this causes me to tense up which only makes it that much worse, but I don't know what to do to stop this. How can I enjoy having sex with my husband again?
Also, we're too chicken to try out new things, mostly we stick with one of us on top, nothing special.
Please help!!!
Re: Scared to have sex
this.
And I am inclined to call MUD
It just hurts when he inserts. There's a lot of friction. We've tried lubrication but all the brands we've tried don't work. Everything seems to dry out quickly from the friction.
What's MUD???
You and he need more foreplay and you and he need lots of lube and you both need to go slowly.
Sure you'll dry out -- if he keeps plugging away, it's bound to happen. (and keep lots of lube nearby your bed)
Talk to your husband. Tell him the thoughts that go through your mind and ask him if you can call a no-sex week - where you both agree that no matter what happens you will.not.have.sex.
Then, try cuddling, hugging, kissing, etc. during that week and see if your brain calms down when you know that it won't lead to sex.
I have a feeling that the physical pain is a manifestation of the emotional fear.
It also could be vaginismus, which would explain the pain. Sometimes your muscles can tense up no matter how much positive thinking you engage in, and you just have to retrain that impulse. Vaginismus.com has kits and books you can get that include dilators and exercises you can do with your husband to help retrain that muscle impulse.
Lemonlover, I didn't delete anything. I've been away from my computer for a couple days and just got to reading them. I'm sure your advice was good and I'm sorry I never saw it.
To everyone else that I was able to read, thank you for the advice. I will try it and hope things get better. I'm sure they will.
Hi! Ok so i am not sure if this has been said yet (I didn't read all the responses) But DH and I kind of have the same problem. I kinda get freaked out about sex (and we are newlyweds
) What I have found to work for us is that he will go down on me and get me to O every time he does (well I think its been like once that it took TOO long!) since I came I am lubed up AND I am more relaxed which makes it hurt less when he enters. Like you its like we do it once a week..if that...Ive been trying to get myself in the mood more often, but for some reason theres all the little things that add up...Ill be in the mood earlier in the day and bam I get bad gas! 
totally unsexy! anyways I found that if we do it more often it hurts less and feels better.
I did read that some girls suggested toys, I dont have any but I agree that could be a good thing to try. again maybe have him go down on you and get you to come that way...or some how get you to come before sex.