October 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

What is my problem?!

I think I've complained about this before, so please forgive me. :)

I went to a baby shower today for one of my best friends (she was actually a BM in our wedding).  She (and her friends and even some of her family members) are a few years younger than I am.   I was the only one (out of about 50-60 guests) who wasn't there with their parent or who wasn't a parent themselves!  

I think it's because my friend is pregnant and I see her every day, but about every other night for the past couple of weeks, I've had baby-related dreams.  I KNOW in my head that I'm not ready for a kid - maybe in another year or two - but why can't I stop thinking about it?!  It's driving me nuts.  Going to the baby shower today just makes me think that I'm "behind" somehow, but I know I'm not!  These people were just too fast to get on the baby train, right?! 

Is anybody else experiencing this?! 

Planning & Married Bio... Pro Pics, Vendor Reviews, and Items For Sale!
image

Re: What is my problem?!

  • Definitely. I'm young for our group of friends (25) and in the middle of grad school... so we're DEF not ready for a kid. Some of our good friends just had their first or working on their second. There is no such thing about being "behind." I think that it's good that you are trying to plan what's best for you, your husband, and your future family.

    We keep trying to plan things like vacations, date nights, etc to keep our mind off of it. You know, things you can't do as easily when you have kids. And if you need some birth control, there is this chili's in Atlanta...  last time we were there, it had me wondering if I EVER wanted kids lol. This is totally normal... don't worry. :)

  • imagedvshaw:

     There is no such thing about being "behind." I think that it's good that you are trying to plan what's best for you, your husband, and your future family.

    Couldn't have said it any better. Enjoy just being a couple while you can!

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers 
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers 
    image 
    After 22 cycles and 4 failed IUIs, Serafina joined our family through IVF/ICSI, born 8.28.12
    Surprise! The Sequel is due 12.8.14!

  • imagedvshaw:

    And if you need some birth control, there is this chili's in Atlanta...  last time we were there, it had me wondering if I EVER wanted kids lol. This is totally normal... don't worry. :)

    That's hilarious!  The baby shower itself was birth control for me!  There were SO MANY kids!  Somehow, my friend is one of the last of her friends/family to have a baby, so everyone there was about 24 or younger and had at least 1 kid!  I don't know, but I think it seems so young!  My friend will probably be a grandparent by the time I have a kid in kindergarten!  Haha!

    Planning & Married Bio... Pro Pics, Vendor Reviews, and Items For Sale!
    image
  • There is nothing wrong with you and you are not behind!!  Enjoy the time you have just the two of you.  I am in no hurry to have kids and I miss hanging out with my "pre-kids" friends.  They never want to do anything anymore (even if it's just go out to dinner) let alone have any conversations that do not revolve around the current status of their child.  I feel like a scrooge, but it really annoys me.  I know you love your baby and want to talk about him, but do I really need to know how many times he spit up today?  No, thank you.  Start concentrating on spending quality time with your DH.  Like dvshaw suggested, start planning date nights, etc. 

    Lately I've been considering signing up on meetup.com so I can find some other married gals who don't have BOTB, but I'm a little scared to do it.  I've always been a little nervous about meeting people via the internet.

  • imagejlk0219:

    Lately I've been considering signing up on meetup.com so I can find some other married gals who don't have BOTB, but I'm a little scared to do it.  I've always been a little nervous about meeting people via the internet.

    There is a girl I work with who played volleyball in college and she joined some volleyball groups on meetup.com and has a great time. I might suggest not going alone the first time (but maybe that's just me...). 

  • imagejlk0219:

    Lately I've been considering signing up on meetup.com so I can find some other married gals who don't have BOTB, but I'm a little scared to do it.  I've always been a little nervous about meeting people via the internet.

    I've never heard of this site... sounds like a good idea!  DH and I have such a hard time meeting people.  We had some couple friends in college, but most don't live very close to us any more.  And, several are having kids so I know those won't be the same anymore.  Let us know how it goes if you do it! 

    Planning & Married Bio... Pro Pics, Vendor Reviews, and Items For Sale!
    image
  • OMG. I just looked up Atlanta meet up groups and I found this.

    Cuddle Party is a fun, playful workshop on connection and communication that includes an abundance of nurturing and affectionate touch. It is safe and structured, non-sexual and drug and alcohol-free event. Called a "Party" because it is so much fun (a wonderful alternative to a standard singles scene and night life)!

    WTF???? 

  • imagedvshaw:

    OMG. I just looked up Atlanta meet up groups and I found this.

    Cuddle Party is a fun, playful workshop on connection and communication that includes an abundance of nurturing and affectionate touch. It is safe and structured, non-sexual and drug and alcohol-free event. Called a "Party" because it is so much fun (a wonderful alternative to a standard singles scene and night life)!

    WTF???? 

    Cree-py!

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers 
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers 
    image 
    After 22 cycles and 4 failed IUIs, Serafina joined our family through IVF/ICSI, born 8.28.12
    Surprise! The Sequel is due 12.8.14!

  • Uh... yea... that's super creepy.  I saw one in my area for young couples and it specifically said something like "this is for couples looking for platonic friends only."  I thought that must mean that there were creepy groups that WEREN'T platonic friends!  Gross.
    Planning & Married Bio... Pro Pics, Vendor Reviews, and Items For Sale!
    image
  • I have been experiencing this my WHOLE life it seems.  Never being good enough, my sister had kids at 13 (yep) and 16 and I went to college, became a teacher, yada, yada, yada, and I was told by my own parents that they couldn't believe I didn't have children yet.  That and the secretary from work asked about it the other day and when I told her I was 27, she goes, man you better hurry up!!  I was like, really.   Or what??  Will my women parts stop working at 30?
    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm almost 34, and am the last of my friends to have kids.  I was also the last to get married, buy a house, etc..

    I have been left out of kids' parties of all varieties and life events because these friends think I wouldn't be interested since I don't have kids yet.  

    I haven't had baby dreams, but I definitely feel "behind," although I know my decision to wait has been the right one for me.   You aren't alone.

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards