April 2008 Weddings
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Need advice/opinions!

First off, BIL FINALLY found an apartment place that will take him (it was difficult to find a place in good price range who will take a pitbull). So he's still clearing his room, but he's finally out! But I'll miss Chaos (his dog, a huge baby)

Now the advice part: Some of you have seen on my FB updates about Daisy, the lost dog I found around my house Monday morning. She had a collar, so I called her to me to see if she had tags. She was so lost, scared and confused. I've seen a lot of wandering dogs in my neighborhood, collared and not collared, that seem to wander with a "purpose" and know what they're doing. Not her. She has a chip, but the owner phone goes straight to voicemail everytime. I'm thinking she was abandoned. I've exhausted all possible search options for them, put up 'Found Dog' signs and ads, every route to take, I took it.

When I told DH on Monday, his first words were "we're not keeping her". I was fine with that, as I expected to find her owner. Now, I do want to keep her. She's an older dog, but a great dog, listens well, well behaved, well trained (as my aunt puts it, "a once in a lifetime dog"). She got better as the week went on, and inevitably, I'm attached, and so is she. DH said he doesn't want a dog, because you can't just leave a dog with food and water for the weekend like you can with cats. You have to find someone to watch her and such. I told him that's no problem, my brother could, his brother could or my parents. (His brother is all for us keeping her, he'd take her himself if he had a house, he thinks she's a great dog)

DH said he is kind of mad at me for putting him in the situation. He likes the dog, he said he has nothing against her, but he's just not ready for a dog right now. He wants to wait until we have kids to get a dog. I said I love having a dog around, I grew up with a dog (so did he, from birth), and I miss having a dog. I love my kitties, don't get me wrong, but they don't wag their tails at the door when you come home, they don't play tuggie with you, or roll on the floor with you, etc. 

My aunt said I should put my foot down, he's not my father and I'm an adult too, my house, I should have a say. He can get over it. My mom and I went and got both the dogs we had without my father's full blessing (but after a week, both dogs became my dad's buddies and he spoiled each of them). 

 On the other hand, marriage is a compromise and we should agree on something like this, I guess.

Help! I'm so torn. What do you think??

Sorry so long, puppies for those who made it through all that :)

Re: Need advice/opinions!

  • As someone who doesn't want a dog, I would be pissed to be in Don's shoes. 

    I agree that marriage is a compromise.  However, there's really not a whole lot of middle ground in this issue - you either keep the dog or you don't.  Keeping the dog = big change.  Getting rid of the dog = no change.  You're asking for big change, he's asking for, well, nothing.

    Really, unless you're both fully totally and completely on board, I don't think it's fair to keep the dog. 

    And I know I made it through the whole post, but I don't want the puppies Wink

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  • I would talk to him about it again and maybe even offer a trial run. Give it a few weeks and if he still does not want her, look into turning her over your local SPCA (just make sure it's a no-kill shelter). It sounds like he's upset about the situation and has not entirely said no. Address his concerns and maybe even have your parents and siblings tell him the dog is welcome to stay with them if you go out of town. It's not like you purposely went out and got this dog behind his back. I'm a dog lover though and just can't imagine anyone not wanting a sweet doggie (sorry Andrea!!)
  • I would have to go w/ Don on this one.  You can't just think about food and care.  There are huge vet bills and its not fair to keep her then realize that y'all can't do it.  Post her on Petfinder.  Is there any info on a vet to contact on the dog?  Do they have the owners info?  Maybe that will get you somewhere.  If the owners are hard to get in contact w/, then I wouldn't push it.  They're a$$hats and don't deserve to have a dog to dispose of.

    I do love dogs too, but I just know we have NO time to commit to one.  It wouldn't be fair to the dog to be left so long alone (w/ the cats) b/c of our crazy schedules.  We couldn't afford another vet bill anyway. 

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  • I love my puppy to pieces but I have to say, she is a lot of work.  I hadn't had a dog since I was a kid and now realize what a commitment she is.  I would never say I regret adopting her but there are some occasions where we have a hard time planning nights out or taking trips.  It seems like you have people to help you out in that area which is a nice option to have.  Joe and I were totally on the same page about wanting one so we both pull our weight when it comes to caring for her.  I think if you keep this dog against Don's wishes, you will always be doing the grunt work for her.  And like Sax said, vet bills are expensive.  I find that dogs (or maybe just mine) tends to need more medical attention than all 4 of my cats every did. 

    So my long winded answer is I think you should actively find this dog a new home. 
     

  • Thanks ladies. I do see the "give her away" points. I just kind of let it go this weekend, and was going to see what the week brought as far as the "potential" people who were interested. We both agreed to not give her to a shelter (even a no-kill) and were asking people we knew first.

     

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