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Changes.
So I'm noticing a shift in my friendship with my best friend since we got married.
I swore to myself that it wouldn't happen, but it seems to be happening.
Before the wedding, I was living in the apartment that we live in now, about 20 minutes from where Travis was living. He gets up early for work, so he'd leave here around 8:30 so that he could go home, shower and go to bed.
Once he'd leave, I'd go to my friend's apartment since she gets home from work around 8 and we'd hang out until whenever. If I got tired there, I'd just spend the night.
Now, though half of the time he's already in bed, I feel bad for leaving late to go to her house. I don't want him to think that I'm unhappy or anything, but I hate the distance I'm starting to feel between my friend and I. We don't see each other much, and since she goes to work later and gets off later than Travis does, she doesn't seem to grasp that though it's Friday, he doesn't want to stay out late.
Is anyone else experiencing moments like this post-wedding? Advice? My friendship with her is really important to me, and I feel like she thinks that I've 'shelved' her, so-to-speak, and meanwhile, I sort of feel like I'm getting 'shelved' too.
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Whatever, y'all. I work for the church. I'll just put in a phone call to my good buddy
JC to strike your asses down. -Bay
Re: Changes.
Yes, just by the nature of things your marriage changed how much time you have available. And it changed your priorities (and quite honestly, it should!). I don't think you should be rushing off to visit your friend every night after your husband goes to sleep.....
That being said, communicate with her that you are struggling through this transition and also want to have some quality time with her. As the PP said, aim for quality time not quantity.
I am also experiencing something similar. My best friend and I got married within a month of each other and we were each other's MOHs. Naturally we don't have as much to plan for and talk about regarding the wedding now, but we also both moved last summer in opposite directions, so overall it's been harder for us both to spend time together. Granted, we understand each other's situations have changed since we both got married, but it's still about understanding. We relish the about one time every two weeks we do get to spend some quality time together. But, to have that understanding, you need to address it and express how you really feel. I'm sure your friend does understand, she might just be waiting for some acknowledgement of that. Talk to her and like PP said, plan quality time to spend together.
Good luck.