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WWYD- Re: SIL
One of my SILs just called DH to tell us that there is a dedication service for their daughter on Sunday. Fine. They live 2 1/2 hours away. Then she suggested that we take drama SIL along because she lives near us.
DH told me what she had told him about the dedication, etc and then her suggestion. I tried, tried, tried to say very little but I do not want to be in a car for 5 hours with drama SIL. She doesn't speak to me, and is super rude. Never mind all the drama she has caused and how everyone excuses her wretched behaviour. So I told DH that I was fine with going but that I didn't want to take her along. She has her own car. DH is giving me the "you aren't helping the situation" guilt trip.
WWYD? At this point she hasn't even asked to come along with us but I feel I need to be prepared.
Re: WWYD- Re: SIL
I hear ya, I would not want to spend that long in a car with someone I hated. I would ask DH not to *offer* her a ride right away (but just to let her know that you guys are going).
Anyway, if she asks for a ride, or the conversation progresses so that he ends up offering, and if she's just sitting silently in the backseat the whole time (seeing as how she doesn't speak to you), it could be tolerable. Make a deal with DH that you don't have to drive, so that you can at least nap during the ride.
Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
Why would SIL suggest taking D(rama)SIL? That seems like a pot-stirry thing to do. What would I do? I tend to be one of those people who hates playing along with these dumb games. I would leave DSIL behind and go with my husband. If he insisted on bringing her, I would take my own car. Seriously, that is what I would do. I know that sometimes we just need to suck things up, but if you do it *every* time, it becomes a case of enabling bad and unacceptable behaviour. Why can't your husband support your desire to not include her? It's not about picking sides. DH and I had a similar sich with his sis a few years back. I made the point to him that his sis is his sis, I get it...but he didn't choose her...HE CHOSE ME! He had a choice and he chose me, so he needs to show some loyalty once in a while.
Good luck.
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Hrmmm... hard to put myself in your shoes. I'd likely try the ignoring her route. Everyone knows I sleep in the car, so I'd make sure I was a sleep or at least fake it.
Depending how bad the situation is, I may ask DH if he wanted me there more than drama SIL and ask that he make the decision and let him choose his battle. But I only say that b/c we have some difficulty with his mother's family (i.e. if it were something for her family I may not go b/c the whole lot of them are too much drama)