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Birth story (LOOONG) & PIP
Hi ladies! Thank you so much for all your well wishes. All the support is greatly appreciated. I've been mostly lurking and haven't had time to sit down and write my birth story until now. This being a mom business is exhausting! I had no idea this was going to be so long (sorry!) but here it goes:
On Wednesday, 2/10, I started having contractions while we walked the dog. I started timing them when I got home at about 6pm and they were about 6-8 minutes apart. They were different than the ones I had felt previously - more achy, especially in my hips and back. I wasn't feeling up to going to the mall anymore so we stayed home and by midnight they were coming closer to 5 minutes apart. They were also getting more intense, but still just in my hips and back. They felt like they were deep in my hip bones. Not at all what I had expected. When they got to be 3-5 minutes apart, I decided I wanted to head for the hospital. We got there at about 3:30 am and when they checked me I was only 3 cm. I was pretty disappointed that I hadn't made more progress than that. They decided to keep me in triage and just watch my contractions and not admit me yet. But about 10 minutes later my water broke so they admitted me and got me to a room. When they checked me again I was at 4 cm and decided to get the epidural. Best decision EVER. Epidural = HEAVEN. I don't know how anyone does it natural! I guess my pain tolerance is a lot lower than I thought it was.
So anyways...they started pitocin and checked me and repositioned me for the next 5 hours but I got stuck dilated at 5 cm. My doctor came in just after noon and said that I should be at 8 cm at least at that point, and that there was probably something up that was causing me not to progress. She said it could either the baby's position or size, or sometimes the cord gets wrapped around a body part and holds the baby back. So she said it looked like we'd have to do a c-section. I was bummed, but kind of just relieved that the end was in sight. She had a hysterectomy to do so she said they would continue to check me to see if I progressed and if I hadn't by the time she was done with that surgery, we'd go back for the section. They turned off the pitocin and I was still contracting well on my own, but I still didn't progress. (Turns out she was positioned weird).
Kaya was born on Feb 11, 2010 at 4:25 pm and gave us quite a scare. She came out blue and floppy, even though there was nothing during labor that signaled any fetal distress. I heard them say her 1 min apgar was 2! When they pulled her out and I didn't hear her cry I got really nervous. It makes me feel sick just thinking about it now. My doctor showed her to me really quickly over the drape and then they took her to the warmer. It felt like forever before she finally started crying and of course, being a NICU nurse all kinds of things were running through my head. I was thinking, "OMG, why is she not crying? Are they intubating her? Is she gonna have to go to the NICU?" It was probably just over a minute before I finally heard her and it was the biggest relief. Her 5 min apgar was 8 and her 10 min was 9. They weighed and measured her (8 lbs 4 oz & 21 inches long) and took her to the nursery. B went with her.
The recovery from surgery for me was pretty horrible. While they were closing me up, I felt my hands start to get numb. The epidural started to migrate a little high and by the time they wheeled me to recovery I was having a hard time breathing and talking because I felt numb really high up. It was so scary! Plus, I was shivering uncontrollably so my neck and shoulders were tensed up because I was trying to stop myself from shaking so much. Usually recovery is only about an hour but I think I was there for almost 3 hours. They put oxygen on me and eventually I fell asleep. B came and stayed with me, though I kind of wish now that I had just had him stay with Kaya in the nursery. But I was a little scared at how I was feeling physically and I didn't really want to be alone. I think it was about 8 pm by the time I was able to breathe normally and they took me to my room. But I was SO groggy I could barely keep my eyes open. When they brought Kaya to me, she was already 4 hours old. I feel so awful now that she was basically alone all that time.
Because I was still so out of it, I didn't really feel any emotion when I saw her. To be honest, I felt very detached from her for the first couple days. I know that's not abnormal, but I felt awful about it. I think it was worse because she was so fussy since I had no milk yet and I was so exhausted because hospitals are so not restful. I was also frustrated because I couldn't console her, but my BFF (who decided when I was in labor that she would fly in from Hawaii to help us) was able to calm her down better than I could. I felt like Kaya didn't know that I was her mom. I really feel like those 4 hours we spent apart right after her birth made her insecure and I think it's going to take a while to work through that. She still wakes up and cries almost every time I try to put her down when she falls asleep while nursing. We haven't been able to get her to sleep in the PNP so she slept in the bed with us and now I'm sleeping with her on the sofa because it's easier for me to get up to nurse her that way.
The first few days at home were pretty rough because it took a while for my milk to come in (they say it takes longer with a c-section). The pediatrician actually recommended we supplement with formula until my milk came in so we did a little for the first few days. (She was already down to 7 lbs 11 oz at discharge). But I didn't want to give her a lot so she was still fussy. Things are getting better, though, and she actually slept for about 3 1/2 hours last night.
And although I was initally detached, now I just love her so much and can't imagine life without her. I could just stare at her face all day! Here's a photo from her newborn shoot for those of you who haven't seen on FB:
More here:
http://blog.brookeashleyphotography.com/?p=2870
and here:
http://erinfonnesbeckphotography.blogspot.com/2010/02/simply-divine_18.html
Re: Birth story (LOOONG) & PIP
Wow Christine, what a story. I am sorry the first few days were rough...sounds like you're on track now though. Have you done any kangaroo care with Kaya? That may help her feel more secure...we wore Libby in the wrap carrier skin-to-skin for several hours each day for the first week or so. She loved it and so did we. We wore her a lot, actually.
Libby won't sleep in her Arms Reach Co-Sleeper at night (she'll nap in there or her swing or her crib, but not at night) so I have since relocated to the twin daybed in her nursery and she sleeps with me at night (from about 11 p.m. until 6 a.m. or maybe 9 a.m. if I take her back to bed when she wakes at 6 a.m.). She nurses side lying and we're both able to sleep better. J is sleeping next door in our room, in the MIDDLE of our queen sized bed with the pugs tucked under each arm! I miss sleeping in my bed with my husband, but I know this is temporary (I hope). The plan for now is to try to transistion her to her own crib once she's STTN and not waking to nurse. We shall see...otherwise we'll need to get a King sized bed for our room!
Anyway, she's just beautiful and I am glad you're on the mend. Hopefully you can just spend lots of time snuggling, nursing, skin-to-skin, etc. and the memory of those first few hours separated will fade away in time. Congrats to you and your new little family! BTW, how is Ellie doing with Kaya?
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
Good idea on the Moby. I've only worn her in the sling so far (which she LOVES). We tried the Moby but couldn't quite figure it out so maybe we'll work on that tonight.
I tried nursing her lying down but she doesn't seem to like it. I'm letting B sleep up in our room, too, because I figure there's no sense in us both not sleeping. (Although, somehow he's able to sleep through her crying sometimes.) The living room is working well because I leave the tv on (since she sleeps better with noise) and it serves as a night light for me.
Ellie seems a little sad that she's not getting much attention anymore. She was super interested at first and I think she gets stressed out when Kaya cries. Otherwise she just wants to sniff her and lick her. =P
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wow, our timelines were so similar... we went into the labor about the same time...my contractions were timed the same as yours initially but closer together sooner (around 11:15pm they progressed to every 2min) and I was only 1cm dilated upon admission, but everything else is so similar...K was born 4:25pm and A was born 5:42pm so not too far apart either
I can't imagine how scary that was for you when she came out blue and not crying!!! i'm so glad that she was ok and it was just a little scare and nothing more.
Wow, that must have been really scary when your epi started going too high! what did the anesthesiologist say about it? i can see how you must have been pretty freaked out when you started having trouble breathing. I don't know what it is that causes us to shake so much...not sure if it's the drugs from the c/s or just from laboring so long??? I felt so weak and tired and I felt like for me, the shaking made it worse and I hated that i couldn't stop it!
I wouldn't feel bad about not being w/her those 1st four hours... the only worry would be w/BFing but it sounds like you are having no issues w/that. they say that babies are born recognizing their mom's scent so i am certain that she knows who you are and feels most secure w/you now
this happened with A and i think it has nothing to do w/you being apart from her those first few hours... i think it depends on the baby but i think it is just them getting used to leaving their warm comfy home in our wombs and being new to this world. A has totally outgrown that phase but when she was a newborn, this was one of my biggest frustrations!! she would seem fast asleep and then as soon as i put her down she'd wake and cry.... so i'd have to hold her until she was fast asleep before putting her down in her crib. it will get better, i promise. it just seems awful when you are sleep deprived and can't get them to sleep so that you can sleep! i should also add that she would also cry a lot when she was awake and put down and it was so hard for me to get anything done, even brushing my teeth!! so something like the moby is great so you can have two hands
i'm really surprised that your pedi wanted you to supplement so early... if my math is right, it sounds like she only lost 6% of her birth weight when you left the hospital...and most pedi's don't push supplementation until they have dropped over 10% birth weight if you are BFing. oh and i also wanted to mention that we could not try the side lying position for nursing until A was 4-5 weeks old. prior to that we were both still getting the hang of things (we had latching issues) but now that's pretty much the only way i nurse her.... so you can try it again later when she is older. there comes a point where most babies will learn to self latch if you get the nipple close enough to their mouth... when K gets to that point, I'd try side lying again if you want to
I love her nb photos, your photog did a really great job! she is just so precious and looks so much like you
it's so exhausting in the beginning but once you can get them sleeping at least 4 hrs straight over night, it starts to get better 
funny how after having a nb, 4 hrs seems like a lot of sleep LOL and when you get 5-6 you'll be even happier and more well rested.
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
Wow! thanks for sharing your birth story. . . scary that she came out blue and "floppy"
I'm sorry you guys have been having a hard time thus far. I really hope it gets better for and B. & how nice of your friend to fly up to help you guys!!
Do you have more pics of your little one with her eyes open?
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Kaya is beautiful!
The fussiness sounds pretty normal. The first few weeks are so tough! I'm glad that things are getting better.
| Olowalu, Maui ~ August 6, 2008 |
| Family of 4 ~ April 2, 2011 |
| Family of 5 - October 24, 2012 |
Christine!
I really loved reading your birth story! Thank you so much for sharing. It does sound pretty scary that you started to feel numbness up so high and you had trouble breathing?! I'm curious to know what the anesthesiologist had to say, too. Glad those nurses in PACU were able to take care of you.
Good luck with being a mommy. I know that you will be great! And Kaya is absolutely darling..love that picture of her
Thank you so much for sharing. Gosh, I really need to put mine together..I think I have forgotten all the terrible/painful portions of it.
Glad that everything was okay with you and Kaya. Very scary!
Great photos too:-) She is just precious!
wow, that must have been so scary! I'm glad you and Kaya are both ok
I was really thrown by the shaking at the c-section too - very strange!
Agree with pp though - the fussiness sounds normal. 3.5 hours sounds awesome! YAY!
At four weeks old tomorrow Libby is just now getting to a place where we can put her down (in her crib or swing) after she's begun to doze off while nursing. Sometimes I wait until she's sleeping hard, but lately, she'll pull off the nipple and still have her eyes half open and I rock her a bit and then put her in her swing or crib in a loose swaddle (she likes her hands free). So it will happen. I swear for the first two weeks I wore in her in the wrap about 18 hours a day! Only way I could brush my teeth, eat, etc. And she slept ON me in our rocker/recliner. I finally got the side nursing thing down and was able to get into bed with her, which we've been doing for the past two weeks.
Me too, actually. Libby was the same birth weight as Kaya...8 lbs 4 oz and dropped down to 7 lbs 6 oz by Day 5. My milk came in that day though and by her two week appt. she was up to 9 lbs. 2 oz. The pedi never mentioned supplementing, just being sure that she was on the boob 24/7, which she was! She clusterfed from Day 6-8 from 12 a.m. until 6 a.m. and I swear that's when she put the weight back on...
I am glad supplementing didn't mess with your BFing...hopefully from here forward you two just BF and in time she'll get the side lying latch down and you can get some GOOD sleep! Hang in there mama...
Oh, one more tip about the wrap carrier...I would nurse Libby and then hand her off to J and he'd wear her with no shirt on (she'd just be in a diaper with socks)...skin2skin...for like two hours and let me sleep. It was AWESOME. You might see if B is down to try it.
As for the shaking, mine started around the tenth hour of laboring naturally....before every contraction my legs would just shake uncontrollably. It made staying on top of the contractions just unbearable and led to my getting the epi. Even with the epi my legs would quiver slightly...that's how i knew I was having contrax even though I was numb to the pain of them. Towards the end of labor my upper body started shaking...it as like I was having a seizure or something. My brain was fine...I was "present" but my body was just taking over. I remember the next day my neck hurting so badly from it. My OB said that many women shake...it's how the body deals with accute pain. So even though we have an epi our body is still experiencing the pain even though we're not feeling it. Truly bizzare. And a little scary too.
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
wow. I guess that makes sense.... that's a little disturbing, actually.
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
She's beautiful!! Congratulations!
The detached thing is normal...I definately experienced it with Marino until he was about 6 weeks old. We are seriously BFFs now and I am his absolute favorite person (even now in his terrible twos, where he seems to dislike everyone else in the world, even his dad half the time). For lots of moms, the bonding is a gradual process...don't feel pressure for it to happen instantly. Plus, the first few months are tough, even for moms with lots of baby experience!
Enjoy your gorgeous baby girl!!
I'm starting to think our pediatrician is a little old school. She also said to clean the cord with alcohol even though the AAP says it's just as good to do nothing but keep it clean and dry. We're not supplementing anymore but I started pumping and plan to have B give her a bottle once a day so that I can sleep. I'll have him do the skin to skin, too. He's worn her around the house in the sling and she loves it. We just need to figure the Moby out.
I'm glad to hear that you ladies have similar issues. I feel like everyone talks about how wonderful motherhood is and hardly touches on how hard it is the first few weeks! (Not that it's not wonderful, too). I feel really good during the day, even if I'm exhausted, because the sunlight really energizes me and lifts my mood. But once the sun goes down I feel so overwhelmed and emotional sometimes. I'm so glad the days are getting longer because I think I'd be totally headed for major PPD if we were in the dead of winter with the sun going down at 4pm.
I think I mentioned it to him as they were transferring me from the OR table to the bed but I can't remember what he said. I think he said it was normal? But at that point I was just feeling the numbness in my hands and it was when I got to recovery a few minutes later that I started having trouble breathing.
I'll post some pics on FB when I upload them from my camera. I have a couple of her making this face -->
They're so funny!
I love Hawaii!
Tara & Ian . 4/24/2008 . The Kahala Planning . Married
Your ped does sound old school...we just kept Libby's cord clean/dry w/water...it fell off at day 5!
As for nighttime...I so hear you...often times, around 6 p.m. I feel trepidation. And several times at 3 a.m. I find myself having resentful thoughts towards DH...not rational, but there you have it! The morning comes and somehow with 5-6 hours of broken sleep I actually feel energized to face the day.
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
Glad I'm not the only one. It's really hard EBFing and them not really being able to do anything. I feel like it's pointless for us both to lose sleep, but at the same time, I also wish he could do more. I just have to remind myself that it will get better. It can only get better.
you did great, please don't beat yourself up over those hours after birth.
same! I was so amazed that his was gone this morning (I had to search for the gross shriveled thing that fell off in his sleep gown)