POLL: help me out, ladies - baby name dilemma

redshoegirl · February 2010

Ben and I have had an agreement ever since I changed my name when we got married - our kids will have a dual surname the same way I do. Lately, I've been rethinking this. Although I don't regret doing it for myself, I will fully admit that it IS kind of an obnoxious pain in the ass at times (like having to spell out the whole long thing for people when I'm making an appointment at a doctor's or something) and I'm wondering if this would really be the best decision for them.

I was thinking that perhaps my maiden name could be used as a second middle name for both boys, so instead of:

Firstname / Middlename / Maidenname Lastname

they'd be

Firstname / Middlename Maidenname / Lastname

But then, there are a few reasons I'm hesitating about this, too. Most of you know my surname from Facebook - it's not the kind of name that could also pass for a first/middle name (unlike, say, Anderson) - it's very much a "last" name. So would it be strange if it was used as a second middle name? And would it be weird if both boys had the same second middle name?

Or would it just be better to scrap the whole idea and go with the Keep It Simple, Stupid option: just give them one middle name and one last name (Ben's, since it's the one we share)? I'd be a little sad to see my maiden name gone (there are only girls in my generation, and everyone but me - and my sister, who is single - has completely changed their name with marriage), but if it will spare my kids hassles later in life, it's not a dealbreaker.

[Poll]

Hawaiian Honey · February 2010

I voted for # 2 but not just because it's easier than 2 last names. I think your maiden last name would actually sound cool as a second middle name and if both boys have it, it's just another thing that they share as brothers and twins. Guaranteed nobody else will have it as a middle name and that makes it UNIQUE not a PITA. Plus you do still have the ease of one last name. Just my 2 cents. Geeked

Married2MrWright · February 2010

I've kept my maiden name along w/my new last name...no hyphen. It is a PITA and I've considered chaging it, but that's a pita too!

With Libby we KISS...Elizabeth Joan Wright...easy peasy. Once she starts school I'll make sure the teachers and administrators just know me as Lori Wright...for ease.

myday1708 · February 2010

I voted for the last one, but I would honestly add a 4th option, which I would have chosen....

How about FirstName / Your Maiden as their Middle / Lastname

Many people do this. And with all sorts of namesI think your Maiden name (C----, right?) is fine as a middle name. It's nice, actually. Wouldn't it be cute if the boys had the same middle name?

Then you and the boys would have the same thing, except they wouldn't have the bother of having a two-word lastname. And I think having a 4-name name is annoying as well.

HTH!

mie · February 2010

I would probably go with option #2 or #3. Our children have two middle names (neither are my maiden name).

adpilove · February 2010

I voted for #3. All up until 2008, I had such struggles my whole life attempting to spell my last name for people. Never once in my life has anyone ever spelled it right. I always secretly wished it was an easier but on the flip side, its very different and VERY german. There are not very many in this country so I like the uniqueness of it. But call me old fashioned, I just prefer first name, middle name, and last name of father. There's something simple about it and no need having to explain anything. I do like having a middle name have some association to a family member or a combination of family member names. Growing up, every girl I knew had Anne, Marie, or Maria. So I really liked having my grandma's name - GRACE as my middle name.

redshoegirl · February 2010

myday1708:
Many people do this. And with all sorts of namesI think your Maiden name (C----, right?) is fine as a middle name. It's nice, actually. Wouldn't it be cute if the boys had the same middle name?

I briefly considered this, but really don't want to get rid of either of the middle names we've chosen. The first is John, which is both Ben and his father's middle name. The second is Thomas, which is my dad's name. So I don't want to get rid of them, simply because they're very meaningful to us.

vanceandlori · February 2010

I like more than one option -- I like the boys having 2 middle names. We almost gave Brooke 2 middle names (the one she has + a Japanese one), but Vance didn't want to give her a Japanese one ...

I also like nixing your maiden name and just taking Ben's last name. I think this is the easiest option overall.

I also like Malia's option, but I just read your comment about having their own middle names.

In the long run, how important are middle names?! I mean, if it's really important to you to keep your maiden name in the mix and have their own middle names, then I'd go for the option where they have 2 middle names.

Good luck!

redshoegirl · February 2010

vanceandlori:
In the long run, how important are middle names?! I mean, if it's really important to you to keep your maiden name in the mix and have their own middle names, then I'd go for the option where they have 2 middle names.

Eh, see, I think this is the reason I'm kind of wrestling with it. On the one hand, yes, I would like my maiden name to continue on...but on the other hand, realistically, how often will it even be used or seen? Is there even a point in having it in there? I know my middle name is only ever used on official government-type or medical documents. Otherwise it's not like anyone knows about it.

LOL and then that works on both sides of the argument - you could argue that they might as well have two middle names since it won't matter anyway, but then you could also argue that having two would be pointless because it won't really matter. If that makes sense! Stick out tongue

myday1708 · February 2010

redshoegirl:
myday1708:
Many people do this. And with all sorts of namesI think your Maiden name (C----, right?) is fine as a middle name. It's nice, actually. Wouldn't it be cute if the boys had the same middle name?
I briefly considered this, but really don't want to get rid of either of the middle names we've chosen. The first is John, which is both Ben and his father's middle name. The second is Thomas, which is my dad's name. So I don't want to get rid of them, simply because they're very meaningful to us.

Hmm. OK, that make sense. In this case... I personally would drop your maiden and KISS with the first / middle / last. We were considering some 4-name names for Alexa but ultimately I just felt it was too much hassle and I wanted it to be simple for her.

Still, if you really wanted to keep your maiden, I don't think 2 middles is THAT bad... It's becoming more and more common nowadays. So I guess what I am saying is that I like both of these options and am not 100% in either camp. I guess it's up to you!

lelekay · February 2010

KISS is my motto in life in general, so I voted for #3, but #2 isn't a bad option, either. I'm not a fan of the two last names option. As a teacher, I see kids with two last names and either they struggle with it, or the adults do. People often forget to use one of them, and the kid and/or parent gets annoyed.

lola808 · February 2010

First, I would say, it's such a personal decision, I think the only ones who can decide and who know best are you and Ben. But here's my two cents anyway...

I am a fan of simple -- 3 names, 1 middle. I also think that there are only so many family names that you can reasonably include in a child's name, and if the chosen MNs are already related to family members, then maybe KISS with First/MN/DH's Last.

If you really wanted to include your maiden name, I would use it as the MN (my personal first choice) or maybe add it as a second MN (second choice).

I know many kids with hyphenated LNs and although they totally work and I completely understand where they are derived from, I can't help but wonder what will happen when they get married and, perhaps, want to hyphenate with their spouses. That might mean a 3- or 4-name LN!

Amy4773 · February 2010

lola808:

If you really wanted to include your maiden name, I would use it as the MN (my personal first choice) or maybe add it as a second MN (second choice).

DItto this. My maiden name is now my middle name (I dropped my original middle name), but I'd never expect my kid to carry it on. I see your attachment to the middle names you've chosen, which I love and appreciate, so I'd stick to first, middle, last.

irishmilla02 · February 2010

I picked choice number 2 because that's what we are going to do. I don't want my maiden name lost (plus I kept my maiden name) and I want my maiden name to be a part of them. So all our kids are most likely going to have two middle names, the second one being the same for all the kids.

lelekay · February 2010

lola808:
I can't help but wonder what will happen when they get married and, perhaps, want to hyphenate with their spouses. That might mean a 3- or 4-name LN!

I've always wondered this myself...... Confused

jaysgirljulie · February 2010

I personally like KISS I would pick between those middle names that mean a lot to you or your maiden name, not both. But... DH has 4 names, two first names, his middle is his mom's maiden name, and his last name. Honestly, it's not too bad at all, and he even goes by his second first name Stick out tongue

.

eacerna · February 2010

I have 4 names! lol. In the Filipino culture, the mother's maiden name is the automatically becomes the child's middle name. So my name used to be Ericka Marie [mom's maiden] [last name]. After I got married, I made my maiden name my middle name so I am now Ericka Marie [my maiden] [DH's last name]. Honestly, I don't really use my second name (Marie) that much. For our kids, they'd probably have four names too since I want them to keep my maiden name. I have just decided that for myself lol. Still have to check if DH would agree lol. With that said, I don't see anything wrong with four names. I only write my four names in formal docs. Most of the time, I drop the Marie.

beachbubbles · February 2010

i voted for number three keep it simple-i have had my own name drama-go by my middle name-didn't want to change my name middle name was not on social security then had to re-issue social to get my driver's license, etc.....to date my passport still does not match my drivers and social-anyway it will just be easier for the kids and less room for error-just my humble opinion

chikarakobu · February 2010

I voted #2 because I'm thinking of doing this, too. I don't see any problem with 2 middle names. As a pp said, it'll only be used for documents like passports and stuff so I really don't see that being an issue as 2 last names might.

My friend (female) and her bro both have their mother's maiden name as their middle name. She didn't like it much as a kid but now she loves that her mom's maiden name is a part of her name.

My maiden name is pretty unique and I'd get comments on it all the time. Now that I've changed it, I miss those "conversation starters" but I don't regret my decision.

Bottom line = IMO, 2 middle names are not a problem.

POLL: help me out, ladies - baby name dilemma

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