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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
My conversation with a priest...
I posted this on FB for those of you who saw my status update yesterday, but I figured I would post it here too, because I think it's interesting :-)
So, as some of you know, I went to talk with a Catholic Priest yesterday. I have been having lots of issues with the Catholic Church as of late (who hasn't, right?), and I have been finding it hard to reconcile my differences with my religion - how can I call myself a Catholic if i don't agree with the Church's position on so many HUGE issues? (homosexuality, contraception, abortion, embryonic stem cell research, egg/sperm donation, etc, etc). I haven't been to church in a long time (I used to go every Sunday) because I feel like a hypocrite sitting there pretending to be ok with everything, when I really am not. My purpose was just to see if there was any way for me to still be "Catholic" without having to subscribe to many (most) of the views of the Vatican on many (most) issues.
Well, the priest I spoke with was AWESOME. Highly educated man, very progressive and open minded. Teaches a bio-ethics course at a major university. And the thing is - he AGREED with me on most of my view points. And if he didn't agree with me outright, recognized my point of view and realized that there were no absolute rights or wrongs, and that so many things are still up for debate. We had some great conversations about our dissatisfaction with the current Pope (and how it would be ok for him to "go home to the heavenly Father" if he wanted to....), about the fanaticism of some Christians and how it can be more dangerous than the Taliban if something doesn't change (he, too, was terrified by the movie "Jesus Camp") and how the Church is notorious for lagging behind the science and not recognizing that they need to adjust with the times until well past when they should have (think about how long it took to acknowledge Galileo was right!).
So, how did this priest recommend I proceed with my religion? Well, he asked me how I thought I could make more of a difference - from the inside, working for change, or from the outside, as someone who got so fed up that she gave up. From the inside, obviously. He said it is ok to say "I am a Catholic by faith, because I believe in the Catholic religion, but I have SERIOUS issues with the INSTITUTION of the Catholic church right now." It doesn't make me a hypocrite - it makes me an intelligent person who wants to discuss and challenge things before I go along with it. You can have blind faith about things that require faith - we can't see God but we know He is there. But you don't have to blindly follow the Church's view on issues that really aren't about faith - you can be intelligent and question why you are being told to believe a certain way when it comes to what is morally right or wrong.
He said that the Church needs people who are going to challenge it, in order to force change. If all of the people who were feeling like me - that the Church was morally WRONG on certain issues - just got up and left, nothing would ever change. But if we force dialogue, force people to have intelligent conversations about why the Church says we should believe a certain way, then we can bring about change quicker than the 350 years it took for Galileo to be vindicated....
He also thinks, as do I, that the Church realizes there is a huge need for change and progression, before they loose all members below the age of 70. I remember reading an article when Pope John Paul died, that they were choosing Pope Benedict as the new Pope because he was old - that the church needed change in the form of a young, progressive Pope, but we weren't ready to go from one long-term Pope right into another. So they chose Benedict as sort of a "transition" Pope - figuring he wouldn't be around for too long and then they could chose the young progressive person they really wanted next. Hopefully, that is what will happen the next time a new Pope must be selected. The priest seemed to think it would. And hopefully, at that time, the Church will at least start to listen to other view points - maybe not even make sweeping changes, but at least acknowledge that there may be other "right" answers out there, and that they are at least worth listening too.
Until then, the priest said, we just need to hang tight, work for change through education from the inside, and understand that the Vatican's viewpoints on social issues do not define us as Catholics.
If this priest was Pope, it would be one hell of a religion. :-)
Well, the priest I spoke with was AWESOME. Highly educated man, very progressive and open minded. Teaches a bio-ethics course at a major university. And the thing is - he AGREED with me on most of my view points. And if he didn't agree with me outright, recognized my point of view and realized that there were no absolute rights or wrongs, and that so many things are still up for debate. We had some great conversations about our dissatisfaction with the current Pope (and how it would be ok for him to "go home to the heavenly Father" if he wanted to....), about the fanaticism of some Christians and how it can be more dangerous than the Taliban if something doesn't change (he, too, was terrified by the movie "Jesus Camp") and how the Church is notorious for lagging behind the science and not recognizing that they need to adjust with the times until well past when they should have (think about how long it took to acknowledge Galileo was right!).
So, how did this priest recommend I proceed with my religion? Well, he asked me how I thought I could make more of a difference - from the inside, working for change, or from the outside, as someone who got so fed up that she gave up. From the inside, obviously. He said it is ok to say "I am a Catholic by faith, because I believe in the Catholic religion, but I have SERIOUS issues with the INSTITUTION of the Catholic church right now." It doesn't make me a hypocrite - it makes me an intelligent person who wants to discuss and challenge things before I go along with it. You can have blind faith about things that require faith - we can't see God but we know He is there. But you don't have to blindly follow the Church's view on issues that really aren't about faith - you can be intelligent and question why you are being told to believe a certain way when it comes to what is morally right or wrong.
He said that the Church needs people who are going to challenge it, in order to force change. If all of the people who were feeling like me - that the Church was morally WRONG on certain issues - just got up and left, nothing would ever change. But if we force dialogue, force people to have intelligent conversations about why the Church says we should believe a certain way, then we can bring about change quicker than the 350 years it took for Galileo to be vindicated....
He also thinks, as do I, that the Church realizes there is a huge need for change and progression, before they loose all members below the age of 70. I remember reading an article when Pope John Paul died, that they were choosing Pope Benedict as the new Pope because he was old - that the church needed change in the form of a young, progressive Pope, but we weren't ready to go from one long-term Pope right into another. So they chose Benedict as sort of a "transition" Pope - figuring he wouldn't be around for too long and then they could chose the young progressive person they really wanted next. Hopefully, that is what will happen the next time a new Pope must be selected. The priest seemed to think it would. And hopefully, at that time, the Church will at least start to listen to other view points - maybe not even make sweeping changes, but at least acknowledge that there may be other "right" answers out there, and that they are at least worth listening too.
Until then, the priest said, we just need to hang tight, work for change through education from the inside, and understand that the Vatican's viewpoints on social issues do not define us as Catholics.
If this priest was Pope, it would be one hell of a religion. :-)
Re: My conversation with a priest...
As a fellow Catholic, I am touched by your open and frank discourse with this priest. Last Saturday, I attended a special service in celebration of Black History Month and the priest who spoke at that event was also forward thinking. I was blown away! He got a standing ovation -even from the 70 year olds. LOL
I don't want my Church to be easily swayed or to structure itself according to man's wants but I do want a Church where dialogue and challenges to the status quo are invited. Thanks for sharing.
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Exactly! I don't think Jesus ever said using an egg donor was "gravely immoral" (which is what the Vatican says)
Thank you so much for posting this. It is really nice to hear people thinking a lot of the same things I am. Question...where is this priest's parish? It sounds like just the kind of parish I'm looking for.
Amy
Danielle, that's awesome. I was sort of an ethics minor in college and my prof was an amazing theologian with whom I could have enddless spiritual discussions. I grew up Unitarian, but have a lot of Catholic built in by culture or community. I find it sad that the Catholic church has been very resistant to change and progression. My IL's recently moved to SC and didn't find any Church there that they felt comfortable with. They were, in fact, revolted by what they were hearing and seeing being preached. It was, in fact, very un-Catholic. In a sense, they gave up on their religion as an institution because their views were so different. It's nice that your priest is open and willing to embrace the (younger) modern interpretations.