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How's this for a wedding invite, and a POLL
DH's cousin, who we're not really close with, is getting married on Saturday. About two weeks ago we get an e-mail from MIL saying that we're invited to the wedding but the bride and groom didn't have our address so they just put our names on MIL's invite (along with DH's brother and sister). It's not too hard to get our address, we invited them to our wedding so they should have our old one and our mail is still getting forwarded so who knows. And MIL has it so I don't know why they didn't just call her. Anyways, MIL got her invite well after the RSVP date so I'm thinking that we're just on their B-list of invites. DH calls his cousin and leaves a message that we'd be honored to come and we're excited and all that but to call us back just to make sure he got it and everything. Fast forwrd to now, we haven't heard from the cousin even after calling a couple more times. We're sitting at dinner last night debating on if we should go. If they are counting on us I don't want to not show up and them have empty seats, but I don't want to show up if they aren't expecting us and having to pretty much crash a wedding.
The whole thing is just werid. So what would you guys do?
[Poll]
Re: How's this for a wedding invite, and a POLL
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They put as much thought into your invitation as they did concern about whether you actually show up - which is not much. If they couldn't be bothered to get your address (they could have called YOU for it as opposed to MIL) or return a phone call - let them eat the empty seats.
There's a difference between being on the 'B' list (respectably late invite, but still done properly) and 'D' list - they're giving you 'D' list shoddy treatment, which is tantamount to a gift-grab in my opinion.
Send a card, but unless you really want to spend a night partying with MIL on their dime, I'd skip attendance.
I say don't go but leave another message and say you can't go.
Now for my tirade! This is so rude!! We faced something similar with our wedding. FIL is one of 8 or so kids & dh probably has 50 first cousins on that side. Whenever there is a wedding most people send the invite to one of the 8 siblings, not all the cousins. We've had a few days notice for some of the weddings. I refused to do this for our wedding & wanted all the addresses. Well FIL wouldn't get them for me & dh wouldn't push the issue. I ended up finding most of them in the phone book or on the county recorder's site (easy to do but a waste of my time!!). We had some major fights over the issue. So yeah, including your invite with the inlaws is rude! If we get any more of these invites I doubt I'll go to the wedding.
Everyone has good points. For what it's worth, I think they did come to our wedding, but I have no idea if we got a gift or not. I did write down all the gifts so I can look when I get home. Also no one else is going. MIL is going down to the lake with some girls and neither of DH's siblings had enough time to find sitters and clear their schedules, so it would just be DH and I. Personally, I'm leaning towards not going and just sending a card with check depending on if we got a gift. I know that probably sounds pretty bad, but honestly like the pp mentioned they didn't even bother to send us a real invite.
I voted to go.
Try to remember how busy and chaotic everything was when you were planning your wedding.