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Sitting here in tears
I don't know what to do. I have so much work and I'm so far behind. David is sick and I can't do a damn thing about it. He barely eats and drinks because it hurts him so much. if he has what I think he has, there is no treatment for it. It hurts me because I just look at him and he looks so miserable and there is nothing I can do. To see your crazy wild child laying on the couch for three days is enough to break anyone. then I get called a horrible mother by my MIL because I went to work Monday and Tuesday, instead of stay home with David. Believe me, I feel like shiot leaving him here while I'm at work computing the tax due on returns I can give two shiots about.
Then I have reviewers hounding me for work. I've told them that i am behind and that I can't promise to get anything done today and tomorrow because David just wants to be held. The same reviewer who was off for a week and a half because her best friend all of a sudden died and the same reviewer who was off Monday and yesterday for who knows what reason.
I can't do this, I can't be at two places at once. I know I need to be with David first but at the same time, I need to work too.
Sorry for the ramblings, I just need to get that out.
Re: Sitting here in tears
I'm so sorry Mel
You are not an awful mom and don't let anyone tell you different. You are an amazing mom. It's your busy time of the year and there is nothing you can do about it.
It must be heartbreaking to see David sick, you are doing the best you can though.
(HUGS)
I'm sorry Mel. BUT you are NOT a bad mother. You just have a sick child at the absolute worst time for you job wise. but you can't help that. You didn't make him sick.
I hope he starts feeling better soon.
Oh, Mel...
I want to cry FOR you, because I feel so bad you're stuck in the middle of it all.
I just want to reiterate what everyone else said - you are NOT a bad mother.
You ARE an incredibly intelligent, hardworking woman with a challenging, demanding job.
You ALSO are a wonderful mom, whose son KNOWS she loves him very much.
Which means you have 2+ full time jobs.
Is YH at work? I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your dad, but I think it's GOT to be better than having your MIL around.
It's great that she helps as much as she does, but she's not exactly supportive and you do NOT need more negative energy flowing at you right now.
Just remember: you do what you have to do. What's the worst thing they can do? Can they seriously fire you for taking sick time during busy season when your son is so sick?
And vent to us ANY TIME.
Mel, you are not a terrible mother! I can't beileve your MIL would say that to you! And if she thinks you're terrible, what does that say about YH? I'm sure he has to work too! You guys need to work to provide for your family...no, it's not the number 1 priority in your life, but w/o it you won't be able to do ANYTHING for David. Also, I'm sure she doesn't understand how bad things are at work for you right now...there's no way she - or most people - can juggle working an insane tax season AND take care of a sick kid.
As for the reviewers, they can suck it. It's okay for them to take off but they expect you to blow through tax returns that are probably not even budgeted realistically? That's BS.
.: Diary of a Recovering Runner :.
I'm going to jump in here - ITA with you guys, but MH and I were just talking about this and I'll bet this is exactly why it's coming down on Melanie as the bad mom:
Not sure how it is elsewhere, but the Midwest is still very much stuck in the "The mom does everything" mode. The baby's sick? The mom takes care of it. The baby's up all night? The mom stays up with him/her. The house needs cleaning? The wife does it. Need food? The wife will make it.
This seems especially worse with the older generations... I had thought my parents were a bit less "traditional and old-fashioned", but when we had them up for Thanksgiving, my mom kept giving me a hard time for asking Greg to help me. She actually said to me "Why don't you just let him watch football?." (Mind you, this is 4 days after I first hurt my back and could barely move! It's always been normal in our household and at previous events for Greg to be 100% involved and he likes it that way!)
So Melanie... don't let her get to you. It's easier said than done, but your parenting skills are demonstrated daily in David. He's a great little boy and you should be proud. (Boys with bad mothers do NOT turn out like David!!)
I would most def. prefer my dad over here at the moment over my MIL. My relationship with my dad is fine, it's just that he had knee surgery in November and is still going through Physical therapy, so chasing after David isn't the best for him. However, since David is running around much, it's fine.
Yes, DH is at work but he took Monday off to take him to the doctors. We both have deadlines on march 15th. He has financials to prepare and I have tax returns. We picked who would have it "easier" by taking Monday off. He is also in grad school at the moment, so that's an added stress.
MIL actually told my mom that I was a bad mother. My mom let it slip when she was venting about the 15 minute lecture my MIL gave her yesterday. She wishes she didn't say anything to me and really regrets it.
I, for one, would like to see your MIL handle all the responsibilities you have for one day. Then see how she thinks your parenting skills are.
I'm with Paula. It seems like people in older generations don't understand why a woman expects her husband to help and why that same woman has to work and can't drop everything all the time. My own mother (and I don't even have kids) is always telling me I need to work less to take care of my family but working is HOW I take care of my family. MH couldn't afford our bills on his own. He helps me as much as I help him and that is fair. Of course, my mom was a SAHM and doesn't understand why I work.