October 2009 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Leaving Husband
So my husband just got a job 200 miles away where he will be working 6 days a week. Needless to say I am excited that he is working/found a job (finally) but not happy I won?t see him. I am concerned that this could end up disastrous (ie. Divorce land!!) but am trying to be happy for him. The other ?problem? is the fact that the only day he has off is Sunday, I work every Sunday. When will we see each other? I guess my real question is should I leave my job where I have worked for 3years now I go with him? Is that really a smart idea? I mean what if I can?t find a job where he is going!!! PLEASE HELP ME.
Re: Leaving Husband
In this economy I think it's great that your husband found a job, but I am sorry that it's so far away. Since you said his job is 200 miles away am I correct in thinking that he'll be moving? Is it really going to be cost effective for you to pay for two residences? Will that help you guys move toward your financial and future goals? It seems like the cost (from just that alone) could make a job like that not worth it. To your question, though, I would start applying now for jobs close to where your husband is going to be working. Maybe you could take a vacation and go to where your husband's new job is located to do some serious job hunting. It's definitely possible to make a marriage work without seeing one another all that much, but it will definitely be much, much harder.
GL!
My sister and her husband are in very similar situations. They want to move "home" but they're in Chicago right now. Her husband took a job almost 500 miles away because it is easier to transfer from that market back here. My sister is staying in Chicago and putting their house on the market while trying to arrange a transfer back here. Their situation is a little different because they have minimal housing costs due to my BIL staying at my parents' cabin until they can get transfers.
I agree with pp - see if you can take some time to seriously look for a job closer to him. I think that a strong marriage can withstand the separation but it makes things tougher.
That being said, asking you to get another job when you seem to like your current one, and move 200 miles when you don't seem to want to, is a little unfair. I get the feeling like either you two didn't seriously talk about this before he accepted it, you didn't fully explain your concerns to him, or you did, and he doesn't care. What about this job justifies separating a husband and wife? Is this a military situation?
If this situation were between me and my husband, and my husband got a truly great job opportunity on the other side of the country, I wouldn't want to move either. But if it's for the good of the marriage and if it will support him in a great opportunity, yes, I would move in a heartbeat.
I agree with Karen. Last year we were in a similar situation. In Jan. of 09 DH (was then FI) was offered a job in NC and we lived in FL. He was working two part time jobs before this and was about to get laid off from one and I was working and finishing my undergrad. We looked at all the options and decided although not ideal, it was best for our future if he took the position. That meant that we were apart from Jan 09 until our wedding weekend Oct 24 09. It sucked, I am not going to lie. I saw him on three occasions that entire time apart and he drove in the Thurs. before our wedding along with all of the other guests. I also had to make the choice that I was going to quit my job, leave my apartment, leave my family and friends and blindly move to NC after the wedding with no prospects. And I will tell you that has been really really hard. I am still unemployed and don't know very many people yet and DH works all the time. But even on the days I am really sad/bored/lonely I know that it was the right choice for us together. His job is awesome, he is doing great and has been promoted twice and is in line for another one this month. You just need to decide what is best for both of you in the big picture. Its going to be tough no matter what but something good can come out of it!
ps-sorry for writing a novel!!
look for a job where he is.
you might be thinking this could head for divorce b/c he has been a cockgoblin regarding his spending $ you two dont have..... look into counseling (through church or your insurance).