You ladies are always so positive and encouraging so I need some good vibes or anti-worry vibes ![]()
As many of you know I had a total hysterectomy almost 2 years ago due to severe endo and I have worried about it coming back every since. Not necessarily just endo but scar tissue is well (I had massive scar tissue growth between my 3rd and 4th surgeries which were just a year apart).
Well, I am starting to have some really bad symptoms and I can't help but worry about scar tissue issues or that the endo is returning. And what's worse is that there is absolutely no way of knowing without doing another surgery (which would in turn lead to more scar issue). Before my hyst, we could get some idea of the degree of endo/scar tissue from doing an ultrasound to check the position of my uterus and ovaries but now we dont' even have that as a guide. I just feel like I'm out of options. I feel like I gave up my chance of having biological children (what small chance there was) in hopes of relief but now it almost doesn't seem like it was worth it. I put in a call to get an appointment with my doctor but I just feel helpless as I know there is nothing that we can do outside of medication to treat symptoms (not the issue itself) outside of surgery which would just perpetuate the cycle.
I just need a hug ![]()
Re: Can I share my worry?
Always. HUGS!
I hope you don't mind me saying this but, try not to think of this in terms of biological children. God's blessed you with YOUR first child already. We are all made from the same DNA, whether her genes reflect yours and your H exactly obviuosly can not determine your love for her. I think you'll do her a disservice if you think of this now as you gave up. You didn't give up, you chose to GO ON. You chose to live life and live it healthy. (and prayers that this isn't what you fear!)
Abby is 100% my child. DNA is not a part of our bond and there is absolutely nothing that changes my love for her whether I carried her or not. I am still just grieving not being able to experience pregnancy. Its not about giving up. Its about grieving a loss that is still very real.
I have no idea what you are going through but just know that I'm thinking of you and wishing the best. Not knowing is a bad feeling on top of whatever symptoms you are having and I DO know that feeling. I'm so sorry honey.
HUGS.
hug!

i do believe in a healthy amount of worry and concern, but remember that excessive worrying is not going to change the outcome. i know you're a spiritual person, so try to put it in God's hands and maybe prayer will help ease your worries.
That is so scary :::::BIG HUGS:::::. I hope that you're able to get some answers soon, and I hope that the answers will be positive ones that make you feel better.
I can't even imagine your struggle... you are so strong, I know you'll pull through whatever gets thrown in your path!
I haven't gotten to the point of even wanting let alone trying to have kids, so I don't know what it feels like for you. Sometimes my thoughts get lost in my words and I was only trying to offer encouragement based on my perception which is where I went wrong. I hope I didn't hurt you in any way. I think you're amazing.
No you didn't hurt me at all. I think the way I worded my feelings originally gave you the perception that you commented on since I talked about giving up biological children. I wouldn't trade anything in the entire world for Abby and the fact that we don't share genetics doesn't bother me in the least. I just wish that I could have experienced what it was like to carry her. To see her heartbeat on the ultrasound the first time. To feel her kick. That is what I am missing. That is what I wish I could have. I'm just a mess today.